tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41255769011668186942024-03-05T08:19:31.049-08:00thoughtsI'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.comBlogger144125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-25576069939251455392024-01-07T09:43:00.000-08:002024-01-07T09:43:32.884-08:00New Opportunity- First World Dilemma<p> I have so many things to write about, but lets focus on my latest first world problem.</p><p>I got a *nice* job offer, which bumps my salary by 40% which is what it should have always been. But also with the sad realization that to accept it I will have to quit my current org. </p><p>I have yet to work in a company which has accepted me as whole heartedly as where I am now. I am appreciated but also undervalued. I have done this before, and been much before.</p><p>Seldom have I worked in an environment when colleagues are motivated by the work and not by the fear of year end appraisals.</p><p>Inspite of a very negative effect of being laid off last year, I had found a new professional home here. </p><p>Life however, is about growth….Yet my heart can’t help but wander that, I wish sometimes I could just stay.</p>I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-27891090120146308082022-11-30T15:29:00.001-08:002022-11-30T15:31:14.010-08:00It took me a long time<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBFuPRj4orV41xRy0f-J1PxnbgzhYy4rcwka70bknBvhi72xDNz_JWQMTeG6PRmggdlJXm5M5XmAML0PV4hn_RulLZgG2kV64n12PsD4LzzmuAdmHRD5HP6GE5Jf5Xq1kDsscgXxF01SlktoF-Dxv4B5qGEZ-6E3CV063bVgwEbuhF8nib-NKkMbIfQ/s3088/2534ABDC-2FD1-4E73-8DE1-652EF4C8734C.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2316" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBFuPRj4orV41xRy0f-J1PxnbgzhYy4rcwka70bknBvhi72xDNz_JWQMTeG6PRmggdlJXm5M5XmAML0PV4hn_RulLZgG2kV64n12PsD4LzzmuAdmHRD5HP6GE5Jf5Xq1kDsscgXxF01SlktoF-Dxv4B5qGEZ-6E3CV063bVgwEbuhF8nib-NKkMbIfQ/s320/2534ABDC-2FD1-4E73-8DE1-652EF4C8734C.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><br /> I’m 35 , soon turning 36.<p></p><p>Today I am proud of myself. Finally. </p><p>But it took me so many years to get to this state of mind.</p><p>I wish I had realised this earlier, that self worth does not come from how many achievements you make, or how nice you’re to people or how good you look. It comes from a sense of accepting oneself for what you are. </p><p>I kept on showering kindness on others (some deserving and some not so much) but could not find it went I looked inwards. For myself the standards would always get higher and even on achieving them, a nagging thought would always say but they will always choose the more beautiful one, they don’t like you because you achieved it. </p><p>There are a lot of straight thinking human beings who won’t identify with this everyday mental struggle.</p><p>But today out of everything I’m proud to have put an end to this inner struggle of decades. </p><p>Yes I have a crooked smile and a pockmarked face. Yes I’m again somewhere very new trying to learn something from the scratch . Yes I make mistakes everyday. </p><p>So what ! But now I don’t speak negatively to myself, I don’t put down myself and certainly don’t feel the need to be someone else. </p><p>The realisation that I’m at my best when I’m not trying at all is amazing. So here’s to being my comfortable best. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-29581586863619845342022-05-28T10:20:00.001-07:002022-05-28T10:20:10.358-07:00It is worth the wait<p> S is sitting across me, working diligently, wearing his spectacles, which he needs 'all the time'.</p><p>I am sitting on a desk across him, working on my job applications and steal a glance to look at him.</p><p>We're listening to some calm theatrical music while it rains outside.</p><p>The calmness with which love hit me now dawns upon me. I was restlessly searching for it, reading all those books and articles, in all those dating sites and trying to be my best.</p><p>But when I found him, I was not at my best, I was unemployed, not in my best shape and certainly not looking for love anymore. Because after all my kind of love was non-existent. I never dreamt of big proposals or heroic deeds. I just wanted someone to care for and who loved me for what I am. But alas! the world taught me over and over simplicity and just love perhaps are not enough.</p><p>But I stand corrected. However, preachy it sounds, however delusional, love too is seeking for you. And perhaps all we did have to do is wait but not watch, not keep a lookout and go in our daily lives as we were. </p><p>Because as we are is what really attracts the one who is meant for you.</p><p>The search for love in places where it was not to be found made me so delusional that even now I hope not to jinx what I have finally found. A small voice tells me , I wont :)</p><p>But you know what makes me love him again and again, that he so selflessly makes me want to the best version of myself, but also just accepting me, while goofing around, while eating those ice creams after dinner, while planning our dinners and lunches, while always and always asking me to give him a head massage and always making me feel enough.</p><p>And while he sits across, from me, with his focus face on, planning and writing down notes for his work tomorrow. </p><p>Ladies and Gentlemen, It is definitely worth the wait. </p><p><br /></p><p>A photo from our 2nd date :)</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgNZd4KG-FYJ2VVxiMbKFvQ6vD48GRuHq0tIvoVW9RYubYMKWQcjb4I1tyi2ygm8RFDg-QQLtOEofwENZWxC_hs6MIcD-9ZZe-rQgjr5XZs6EVtZFjW22KXY42MKO0o3rRdZg7O_Rczfa7Y4WddqiKgWR4JNE591c3clsCa9qMnsxGc16fW_QNkUbv71Q" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgNZd4KG-FYJ2VVxiMbKFvQ6vD48GRuHq0tIvoVW9RYubYMKWQcjb4I1tyi2ygm8RFDg-QQLtOEofwENZWxC_hs6MIcD-9ZZe-rQgjr5XZs6EVtZFjW22KXY42MKO0o3rRdZg7O_Rczfa7Y4WddqiKgWR4JNE591c3clsCa9qMnsxGc16fW_QNkUbv71Q" width="180" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-68050699547733713152020-10-14T23:54:00.002-07:002020-10-14T23:54:32.831-07:00When you cried<p> I am helpless, I am not enough</p><p>When you cried, I wish I could take a time machine back and make it right for you</p><p>In your tears, I could see all the children who have been hurt, and the world is not fair</p><p>So when I touched your tears, the pain became real</p><p> I felt like a voyeur when you gave me a sneak peek into what you have been hiding</p><p>A part of me wishes I didn't know this, A part of me knows that is selfish</p><p>A part of me knows I shouldn't think about it, A part of me just wants to be there for you</p><p>I wish I could fly back, embrace that baby, kiss your pain away </p><p>"No cherie, it will be all right"</p><p>A part of me wishes I could cross these societal boundaries and just do that,</p><p>An empath they call me, but I'm just a selfish person venting out on this blog</p><p>While there are people out there who actually suffering through it</p><p>I am helpless, I am not enough</p><p>They say it brings you closer when you understand their pain and suffering </p><p>They say he trusts you, I say he was vulnerable , and I was just there</p><p>And you my reader, tell me how should I let it go, the distress doesn't leave me, it doesn't go away</p><p>Maybe I read more, learn more about how to absorb pain, exhale it and then be as excited for the new day.</p><p><br /></p><p>I am helpless, I am not enough, but I like it when you smile, that inspite of everything you can.</p><p><br /></p>I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-32547908534830980732020-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:002020-01-10T11:06:16.872-08:00What is ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
The storms were there for a reason , </div>
<div>
What is calm if not you</div>
<div>
<br />
The clouds thundered for a reason,<br />
What are raindrops if not you<br />
<br />
The continents are separated for a reason ,<br />
What is distance when its with you<br />
<br />
Words were thought of for a reason ,<br />
But what are my thoughts if not you<br />
<br />
My oceans were searching for a land,<br />
What is a shore if not you<br />
<br />
All the battles were within me ,<br />
What is peace if not you.<br />
<br />
Calm , Raindrops , Distance , Shore , Peace<br />
They were all in me,<br />
But you helped me reach them.</div>
</div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-87133198028785420172018-03-19T00:47:00.004-07:002018-03-19T00:58:07.443-07:00The secret art of cooking Chowmein<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If you have grown up in an Indian household ,<br />
chances are there that you know what Maggi means .<br />
<br />
My mother being the seemingly "strict" woman she was,<br />
read up on the bad affects that Maggi masala can have on a child's mental<br />
growth and forbade its purchase into our house.<br />
<br />
Though most of the times , I wonder if her strict-ness was just a relative term.<br />
After all , strictness is valid only when the other person takes it seriously.<br />
<br />
I , therefore did not like Maggi.<br />
For me it was a mass of yellow lump which some classmates<br />
would bring in their tiffins.<br />
The whole brouhaha about chasing a hapless kid with Maggi in his box<br />
would only seem silly to me.<br />
<br />
Later in life, I did meet a lot of people for whom life seemed to be incomplete without it.<br />
<br />
I tried to adjust , I really did .<br />
<br />
And then came a time , when I met a roommate who was my namesake .<br />
She came up to me with a novel idea called as "Fried Maggi".<br />
<br />
What she cooked that day , was what I had known as Chowmein all my life !<br />
<br />
It was apparently her father who used to do his own version of Maggi and she copied it<br />
and now I try my best to reproduce it.<br />
<br />
Couple of years down the line , I had almost mastered the art of making Maggi , but chowmein ?<br />
Not so much.<br />
I tossed and fried the veggies and juliennes of more veggies together before adding the boiled<br />
theories of string and then black & red mixture of various sauces followed.<br />
<br />
Namak , swad anusar !<br />
<br />
On one such evening as tonight , we went out for dinner .<br />
Found this nice restaurant which had many a reviews on Yelp (Unfortunately , neither I nor my<br />
friends remember its name anymore) .<br />
Which is where , the noodles / Chowmein had cheese in it.<br />
<br />
Unlike , PO's father , my secret ingredient is actually an ingredient .<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
The cheese mixed with olive oil not only enhanced the flavor but made it delectable.<br />
<br />
The next time I tried my version of the "Chowmein" , once boiled, I added some shredded cheese to it ..<br />
The cheese soaked in, while my carrots , beans and shallots sizzled .<br />
Much like salt, it added the necessary "saltiness" . Coupled with pepper it seems to be the best !<br />
<br />
After years and years of trying, the secret ingredient was what I've loved and<br />
had since my childhood.<br />
<br />
Makes you smile , does'nt it ?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-60058738632236686852017-07-28T12:02:00.003-07:002017-07-28T12:02:47.748-07:00Deja Vu <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Is it you again ?</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">You who I fall for each time </span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">My idea of love , you rear your head </span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Like a dragon sleeping for a long time</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Like a flower blooming once in a year</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;"></span><br /></span>
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Like the moon which turns blue once in a while,</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">You remind me yet again ,</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">How sparkling your eyes are ,</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">How infectious your laughter is,</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">The way my lips align when I smile at you, </span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">to make me feel beautiful once more</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">Like a disillusioned hypocrite , the heart fools the mind again</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">They call it deja vu </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;">With rose colored glasses I view the world ,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;">With a </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">rosé addiction I feel the air</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;">With a sweet affliction I breath in the air </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">You make the romantic in me come alive , </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;">Unafraid that yet again </span><span style="text-align: center;">it might be doused</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: center;">Words become more meaningful than they should ,</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">The one who makes me think that how can two souls be so similar</span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">I am smarter this time around , I understand tis' affliction of mine </span><br />
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">And I know that like every time , this time too we must depart</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span class="bigcap" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">To meet again , once more ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;"><br /></span><span class="bigcap" style="text-align: center;">"O</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">ut beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">there is a field. I'll meet you there." ~ Rumi</span></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-8443046919519353252017-03-29T00:19:00.000-07:002017-03-29T13:46:19.342-07:00Carpe Diem !!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Do you know what Carpe Diem means ?<br />
<br />
I knew at some time , and then chose to forget it like all the mundane words which I hide in some<br />
cobwebby corner of my mind .<br />
<br />
Carpe Diem !! is an exclamation used to urge someone to make the most of the present time .<br />
<div class="vmod">
<div class="vmod">
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">To live in the moment is to be what we are .</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All the cells , molecules and every step of our lives have conspired to put us right where we are .</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">To not sieze this well thought after moment would be foolishness .</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And yet , day after day we choose to forgo it .</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Many years ago, one of my friend's google talk status read " I take a new birth with every breath I take".</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I had thought "Oh! how energetic of him" and also what happens to his past births then ?</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">psst : I am notorious in confusing berth and birth , which has resulted in many a funny conversations .</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">What if we were all butterflies and had just one day to live . What is the one thing we would do ?</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I for one would </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">love</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> and shout at everyone at once . </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I have this fear that I have never been able to express to near ones how much I actually love them . </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Under all the well practiced pretense of "I can let go very easily" , lies the memory which is suddenly evoked after many years . </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">When people leave us , they often leave happy memories behind . </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember her smell and not her dying breath when I remember my granny .</span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember her baby steps and not her dying flesh when I remember my dog .</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember the fun when climbing trees and not the trouble when caught cheating with friends.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember her smiling welcoming face and not the spat we had when I left my best friend .</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember the para gliding and not the tears when we vacationed to Goa .</span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember us talking about our favorite books and not the mean words we said to each other .</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember how I missed my father when he was gone and not the scoldings when I would misplace things.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I"ll always remember the laughter and not the tears .</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Carpe Diem , my friend , sieze the happiness in you and keep it in you . </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sadness ought not to be yours . You have to find your happiness in what fate has assigned you to.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">What would you do if there was No Tomorrow ? What would you really really really do ?</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Take the shortest flight back to India</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Eat the food you really want to</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Profess love to the one that got away</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hug the person nearest to you</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Write a long ass apology letter</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Actually & Really Love yourself .</span></div>
<div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Take a pick my friend , the moment is yours to seize !!!</span></div>
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I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-90524679165145496002017-02-05T10:54:00.001-08:002017-02-05T10:54:44.829-08:00Unworthy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Unworthy is probably what my cousin thought he was before he tightened the noose around his neck.<br />
<br />
A staunch advocate of fairness , I would immediately discard any view that the youngest child is the most loved .<br />
My parents themselves instilled this in me , though sometimes I would think my brother did receive more affection thanks to an illness , not terminal.<br />
<br />
It is now, that I realize people like him more because of his nature .<br />
He analyses less , talks normally to most and when angry does not respond.<br />
<br />
I am far less developed , letting the heat in my head guide me many times .<br />
The prospects of the future are also bigger in my head , whereas my brother is quite steadfast .<br />
On the outlier it might appear that he did not plan anything , but both of us are fairly where we wanted to be , planned or unplanned.<br />
<br />
I have a lot of cousins , but not in touch with most. Moving from one place to another , our nuclear family was all that we had . We would've been friends with our cousins , but mostly our ideologies did not match. <br />
We were brought up in different worlds , our conversations would be about Dexter's Labratory and Backstreet boys and theres would be something different . I am sure they were thinking the same about us :)<br />
In these times , it was always "us" against or Vs them .<br />
<br />
And then there was this other set of cousins . Just like us , not living with the rest of the brethren .<br />
They were easier to relate to , spoke a similar language, had similar mannerisms.<br />
<br />
Among this set was my youngest cousin . Who, younger than my brother , was obviously always a baby for me . All my notions of fairness would go kaput when I would think of these babies .<br />
One near to me , the other far .<br />
<br />
Its been a year since the youngest cousin passed away.<br />
<br />
All I could think of that time was maybe I could not show him all the love .<br />
That he thought that we were unworthy of his presence here .<br />
If only he had someone to talk to , I would not be writing this post.<br />
In his death , I feel the rejection which he might've felt when deciding on it.<br />
<br />
It's been a year since he has moved on , and all I can think is that how many times I have let go of people without making them feel their worth.<br />
<br />
Death is a surprise when it is not expected and some deaths teach us how unworthy we are all for not treasuring each other.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-20979110922381575622016-11-20T19:50:00.000-08:002016-11-20T19:50:07.418-08:009 Questions - Tag<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a really long time since I did a tag .<br />
This is not a tag per say but today seems the perfect balmy day to dive into something like this.<br />
<br />
Taken from storypick's http://www.storypick.com/life-changing-questions/<br />
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
1. If we didn’t work to earn money, what would I be doing?</h3>
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I would probably sing , to my heart's content . </div>
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I know there are far better singers and the likes around , but I like it when I sing and others who I reveal this to , like it too :)</div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
2. What would I say in my own eulogy?</h3>
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Here lies Amrita , she cooked and burned ,she searched and lost , she lived & loved.</div>
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<br /></div>
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3. Where do I see myself in 10 years?</h3>
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Here is where I digress from the writer of this article . As if getting married with kids cannot be someone's dream.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Though a staunch believer of "do not utter your dreams lest someone steals them" , </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I do envisage a giggling baby when I dream of the future .</div>
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<br /></div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
4. Do I receive more than I give, or give more than I receive?</h3>
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Professionally = give more than I receive . always.</div>
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Personally = I guess I am a little wary of giving more, lest the person feels suffocated and the fear of being rebuked .</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am trying to change it .</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
5. What is the one thing I can do better than others?</h3>
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I clean good :D I make jokes better .</div>
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<br /></div>
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And maybe, just maybe, I make Indian sweets better :)</div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
6. Whom do I want to be like?</h3>
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The secret answer to that is my Mom , I have always thought of her as my very own celebrity. although ever since teen-age I've been trying my best to be different.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I also want to be like two of my best friends , they seem to be always effortlessly happy .</div>
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<br /></div>
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& my dog , to give so much of love without wanting anything in return.</div>
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7. What have I done for which I’ll be remembered after I am gone?</h3>
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For visiting friends, for being there .</div>
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<br /></div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
8. Who are the ones who make me happy?</h3>
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Puppy makes me happy .</div>
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<br /></div>
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Jokes aside only we can make ourselves happy, which is very difficult to follow.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Seeing the people I love after a long time makes me happy . Happy people make me happy .</div>
<div>
People who waste time in scrutinising others are the biggest downer.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<h3 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 22px; line-height: 30px; margin: 27px 0px 17px;">
9. Do people miss me if I’m not present in a gathering?</h3>
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<br /></div>
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I have a nudging feeling that they do not , but I can only wish that they do .</div>
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What am I saying ? They sure do even if they don't express it very often , but most often do :)</div>
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On introspection I might have become more negative about certain things and care lesser about others .</div>
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Would you do the above tag ?</div>
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I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-59622385558827799572016-09-22T00:28:00.003-07:002016-09-22T00:28:58.732-07:00Love thy Password !!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is only recently that I changed all my passwords .<br />
Old habits die hard , and sometimes whenever a new site asks for a new password, my fingers type down the one word which they have been so familiar with<br />
<br />
A friend's password is his girl's name appended with the word "<i>wife</i>".<br />
A hope for a future in the mundane every day usage.<br />
<br />
For most of the time it seems to be something right off the top of our mind,<br />
the funny thing is that people usually take a password which is the first thing they can think of,<br />
or rather something which is on their mind (&heart).<br />
<br />
For a long time now , my password had been my favourite blog .<br />
To think of it now , perhaps the writer was my favourite person too .<br />
<br />
I wish I had associated it with a thing , a book a la J.R.R Tolkein , an orchid ,<br />
but I associated it with a person.<br />
<br />
Things are easy to forget but people are not .<br />
Somewhere around the corner a reminder might just be lurking .<br />
A password is one such reminder which you choose yourself.<br />
<br />
But one fine day , just like the blog closed , the person lost touch too.<br />
It felt bad at first ,worse to go back and forth .<br />
As the years piled up , the rehashing of memories became easier to do .<br />
Life is like an airplane , from the inside it seems to be static<br />
while actually it moves faster than what we can imagine.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
And isn't that what we call the art of moving on .<br />
We might care about someone now ,<br />
but five years down the line and without any touch they just become faint memories.<br />
<br />
So how many times have you changed your password ?<br />
<br />
Or are you one of the lucky few who hasn't lost touch with their favourite word / thing / password?<br />
<br />
Or how long till we hold on to some memories before letting it all go .<br />
<br />
And one day , long in the future ,<br />
when I am thinking of nothing in particular, I will maybe, let those memories return to me , and put the same password somewhere else.<br />
<br />
Till Then .. Adios.<br />
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I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-67832880860293422152016-08-24T01:17:00.000-07:002016-08-24T01:19:43.715-07:00When Friends turn Foe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In girl world , all girls are cool ,<br />
they play what they want<br />
they are geeks<br />
they are witty<br />
they are hard working<br />
they believe in earning their own money<br />
they watch cool tv shows<br />
they wear cool stuff<br />
they take pride in saying we don't need no man<br />
<br />
And then everything changes when they get married<br />
Its all hunky dory for some time<br />
The above 8 lines still hold true , for some time ,<br />
And then they start judging<br />
<br />
If they are 25 , they start judging girls who are 26<br />
If they are 26, they start judging girls who are 27<br />
If they are 27 , they start judging girls who are 28<br />
If they are 28, they start judging girls who are 29<br />
<br />
And woe begone the day you turn 30 .<br />
You might look younger than the fat testosterone and oestrogen loaded school going kids,<br />
Ain't nobody got time for that!<br />
<br />
Their feminism takes a new turn , a turn where they point fingers at you<br />
For not doing "right" by them<br />
And that's when you know your friends have turned into your foes<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you have a few left who have not turned foes yet , </div>
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then remember this :-</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">"<i>It's really liberating to say no to sh*t you hate.</i>" - Lena Dunham</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-VMYrsJwN8WReEsdb1_JbU0-aCXkHT5SHRGyUS8vEaxeKlmbiGo8YruB1tDNPBek3sYPYiqiFLXl1rA0XCOYqPJ4LPpuIzgaMwgFmDoCut4nq2zNmqoPH9CXpxp3U0fmUreFPgsX8ZvLb/s1600/lena.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-VMYrsJwN8WReEsdb1_JbU0-aCXkHT5SHRGyUS8vEaxeKlmbiGo8YruB1tDNPBek3sYPYiqiFLXl1rA0XCOYqPJ4LPpuIzgaMwgFmDoCut4nq2zNmqoPH9CXpxp3U0fmUreFPgsX8ZvLb/s400/lena.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-10519507388061235002016-07-10T01:12:00.000-07:002016-07-10T01:12:49.147-07:00The Girl at the Desk- Silver Linings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
It had been five years that life had slowly passed by me as I worked in the same company , the same floor and the same project .<br />
<br />
I had become the spider queen who had spun her web round and around the same desk .<br />
<br />
The festivals , the appraisals , the competitions, the coffees , the politics , everything repeated over the years. And so did I.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When things like this happen , we often tend to give up , settle with what we have and loose hope bit by bit.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Its a test of your optimism where a constant feeling gnaws away saying<br />
that just like others this too wont work out and this too shall pass. "You should not have hoped at all"<br />
<br />
We often like to think , that things will turn brighter one day ,<br />
that one day by some miracle we will get what we think we have always deserved,<br />
that one day life will change.<br />
<br />
I do not have the heart to be as deluded as I once was and shout<br />
"Yes , it's possible , you will get your shiny horse and will ride away to the sunset" ,<br />
but I am also a realist hanging on the tenterhooks of optimism so I"ll say yes it's possible .<br />
<br />
When returning from office today ,with the sun shining in all its glory on me ,</div>
I realised that its been three months that I have changed countries,<br />
that I will probably not have to see that same desk for a long time now ,<br />
that those same sickening and tiring words and people wont be seen now.<br />
And that while moving away , I have left a certain part of me behind.<br />
<br />
That part of me , the girl on the desk is still there ,<br />
she knows her wait is almost there ,<br />
but some part of her still doesn't want to let go of it .<br />
<br />
The other part is here . This is the present and the now.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-85717365278260342422016-05-14T22:12:00.003-07:002016-05-14T22:12:58.927-07:00How do you scale up - New Experience in Old Bottle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This is about something which I had an equal part in developing ,<br />
through some years, and yet when today people speak of it ,<br />
they remember the one who started it.<br />
<br />
Has it been that you idolized someone and then they revealed that they are humans too.<br />
<br />
There are some people who we believe are right even when they do wrong.<br />
<br />
I believed someone would always teach me the right from wrong.<br />
<br />
And I have learnt a lot from the said person.<br />
<br />
The second person is a friend from long time back .<br />
<br />
These are the people who shape what your thought process will be like.<br />
<br />
They say something with such conviction, that you want to be what they want the world to be like.<br />
<br />
You can also use the word "gullible" for me.<br />
<br />
When people say ,what you believe is right , it's hard not to believe in them.<br />
<br />
Somewhere down the line you grow up, and realize they are also mere mortals.<br />
<br />
We hear their names again , even if they are not a big part of our lives anymore, it rings a bell , but not without the pungent feeling that the person is not the great big human you thought of them to be.<br />
<br />
The more learned people will say , these are just a part of live's many experiences.<br />
<br />
Yes , I believe I have had my fair share .<br />
<br />
I might not be deluded anymore , but I can't help but miss the naiveness of those times.<br />
<br />
I've stopped searching for heroes in others ,<br />
I stopped looking from answers from God a log time back too.<br />
Not because I am dismal but because both God and Heroes have more important things<br />
than being heroic.<br />
<br />
<br />
"<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #707070; font-family: Roboto, arial, 'Noto Sans Japanese', sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?" - Adele</span><br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-16484962583549623602015-07-04T15:16:00.002-07:002015-07-04T15:16:32.753-07:00Cold Feet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently I had been very sick.<br />
So sick that I could not move out of my bed.<br />So sick that even though I was dying of thirst I could not bring myself to get some water.<br />
That's when I took pity on myself and called my mother.<br />She literally flew down to my place , cared for me and took me home.<br />
<br />
<br />
This from a woman whom I had assumed long time back would not take a leave for a mere sickness. I guess actions speak louder than words.<br />
<br />
<br />
What has just struck me is there might come a day when she or my father wont be there to take care of me. And I would be at a complete loss . I would probably lay dying of thirst.<br />
<br />
The thought scared me .<br />
I had always thought that I would be brave when it came to loosing some near one.<br />
But in my selfishness I am not brave.<br />
<br />
I am crying now thinking that how alone and bereft I would be left one day.<br />
How much I would miss them , the feeling of not having to worry about yourself would be completely lost.<br />
<br />
I was lying down and yet it felt as if my feet would not feel anything for a long time now, they had turned quite cold.<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-17873210232654968562015-01-02T06:27:00.004-08:002015-01-02T06:27:50.693-08:00That Dance - A Christmas Wish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of my childhood fantasies has always been being asked out to dance.<br />
<br />
Boring relatives , lively music , Hollywood proms, vacuous feelings,imagination all made me think that how nice it would be, if after all the eating &talking when I would be left to my own means , someone would just ask me to dance .<br />
<br />
We would do something silly and probably laugh a lot , but yet the dance would be a dance.<br />
Some means of incorporating spirit in an otherwise boring night.<br />
<br />
Reality is a tough place for romantics and like every cute imagination, this never came true.<br />
<br />
So there I was last Saturday , in a party again, asked by my parents to join them, getting bored as usual and reminiscing about how wishful my thinking was .<br />
<br />
The music was good ,there was a dance floor with people shaking a leg or two .<br />
<br />
In the melange of so many people teeming with Christmas revelry, there was a boy looking at the dance floor with a faraway glance .<br />
I smiled at him , thinking that here is a kid who's probably having the same dreams as I used to some years back.<br />
<br />
The only thing amiss was that he had crutches.<br />
<br />
We both wanted the same thing at the same age , but his was probably a hundred times more than mine,<br />
<br />
He sat down on a chair , still looking at the dancing crowd.<br />
I followed his gaze into the crowd, and when I looked back , he was going away, into the crowd.<br />
<br />
I hope that someday, he won't have to do with just looking at the crowd.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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</div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-52011281246300710562014-10-03T12:16:00.000-07:002014-10-03T12:16:51.932-07:00Eye Mask<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="border-image: none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTALCPtfOQiE0S15z9ak4ZaB_qTFlv33P979q2qvuDlWVvdlpBWxEDUnCzmBRU_lpYUUS99IKE3TWCVSuf4ylgq_CnIPUIcQ8oUEJh1YX1BYChzkLmP7LSTKOGe0BWMCPyOBRwGWVtBDK/s1600/wp_ss_20141004_0001.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" urn=""><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXTALCPtfOQiE0S15z9ak4ZaB_qTFlv33P979q2qvuDlWVvdlpBWxEDUnCzmBRU_lpYUUS99IKE3TWCVSuf4ylgq_CnIPUIcQ8oUEJh1YX1BYChzkLmP7LSTKOGe0BWMCPyOBRwGWVtBDK/s1600/wp_ss_20141004_0001.png" /></a></div>
I feel like writing about many things ... But each of which would be limited to a para....<br />
so here comes a series of short blogs .<br />
<br />
Has it ever happened to you , that you buy something seemingly innocuous and it ends up being the best purchase ever?<br />
<br />
I have been using this eyemask for the last month and a half and am completely besotted with it! <br />
An eye mask is a black patch like thing used to cover up your eyes against harsh lights.<br />
<br />
For someone who has to travel frequently by train and gets little sleep due to forgetful, read inconsiderate co passengers, this invention is a boon.<br />
Earlier I used to get irritated and would sometimes scowl when people would leave the door ajar or light on ,but now dude its like I don't even care ... Let there be darkness and my eye mask is to the rescue! :D <br />
<br />
A confession , I love this silky thing so much that I have used it sometimes for a weekend afternoon nap as well .... Oh the feeling of siesta totally sinks in with this one .<br />
<br />
Another added advantage is that it totally stops those small hair thingiesfrom flying into your face ...<br />
<br />
So, those of you who are thinking what a silly post ... Dude first try
then read it again <br />
.. Waise bhi main awai kisi cheez ke bare me rave nahi karti ;) <br />
<br />
Happy sleeping fellas ;) </div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-16396293216016664292014-09-18T13:00:00.002-07:002014-09-18T13:00:49.043-07:00Beyond...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing<br /> and rightdoing, there is a field.<br /> I will meet you there." - Rumi</div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-84510518497941272632014-09-14T11:37:00.002-07:002014-09-14T11:37:57.895-07:00Left - Found<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Though the rest of the movie Finding Fanny was a quixotic take on life (nothing is what it seems), the only thing which I shall remember it is Dimple's expression when she sees her painting.<br />
<br />
It correctly encompasses how one feels on being left.<br />
It is the feeling which one gets when one has hoped and heaped her hopes on someone only to know that once the use has been finished with, there won't be any use of her.<br />
<br />
She knew how it feels to love and then be left<br />
and she understood it once again .. this time it took her lesser time to understand.<br />
<br />
If I knew of one word which would describe this feeling which all of us have felt at some point or the other I would use it ... and then forget it .<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-11421440134577868692014-09-10T11:59:00.001-07:002014-09-10T11:59:27.086-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Why is it that people care for those who don't care for them<br />
and don't care for those who care about them.<br />
<br />
Why does something have to be left for it to understand your importance.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-8708846831961669972014-07-12T13:29:00.001-07:002014-07-12T13:29:14.308-07:00Lost in the way<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today's blog is about all the things which I was very sure about .<br />
<br />
When I was a kid , I was very sure about what I wanted<br />
The answer was simple, I wanted to be rich.<br />
<br />
I did not just want to stare at the pretty pink frocks , but really be able to buy them.<br />
I wanted to taste those three tiered cakes for real.<br />
I wanted to buy the whole box of Camlin crayons .<br />
<br />
Something told me that it would be frivolous to want such wants from my parents.<br />
So I used to store these little wants in my head for future use.<br />
<br />
Yes I still remember the shop which used to sell those three tiered cakes.<br />
<br />
Someone along the way put it into my head that being a good student enables you to be rich and since I was already more intelligent than others of my class , I was quite sure that those dreams would be achievable.<br />
<br />
I did toil hard , I did not care about some of the things which other children did .<br />
But I loved my friends too, it pained me to see them separated from me each time.<br />
<br />
Then I had a crush and thought maybe this time I could let go of my surety .<br />
So I answered some questions with the wrong answers so that the kid I liked would score more than me.<br />
I thought its all right.<br />
<br />
As I grew up, and the kids of my class started turning up to be more intelligent than me , my wants also waned. I could do with a smaller set of crayons, frocks did not matter any more and after all I was doing it all for friendship.<br />
<br />
Someone once called me deluded.<br />
They were right in doing so.<br />
<br />
I was deluded into believing that I was better than the other kids .<br />
Then I deludedly thought that my failures were somehow precious stones in the crown of friendship.<br />
Scratch the last line .. it seems so immature.<br />
<br />
The surety has somehow gone and replaced with a bag full of air (read hope)<br />
<br />
I am not sad or low , but there are a few times when I take a long hard look at what my life has shaped up as .. from an outer perspective.<br />
<br />
Lost I am for sure but I still remember the three tiered cake and the glass wall in between.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-88755793013574898602014-07-01T08:20:00.000-07:002014-07-01T08:20:20.794-07:00Rattled<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am rattled today and I can contain it no more.<br />
There is the good , the bad and the ugly but there needs to be some outlet.<br />
<br />
If there is no outlet then all of it pents up and will burst open.<br />
<br />
So here I write and write away my feelings .<br />
<br />
I feel a hatred and an anger for things which rattle me.<br />
<br />
Every time I hear someone saying "hairs" , its like nails screeching on a chalkboard, I am no grammer nazi but when did people learn to say "HAIRS" , its collective HAIR<br />
<br />
Bollywood is not what it used to be, people just make all sorts of movies which give no joy .<br />
<br />
I don't know how people ease into it , but I hate the caste system , I hate the stupid beliefs , I hate that people think that veg food is pious and non veg is not. I think it is their brain which is a vegetable.<br />
I believe in God and respect him for making everything around us & us , but I do not for even one second believe that he made any other rule than being a good human being. I even hate the word "caste" I hate the word hindu , I hate the word muslim I hate all such words I hate the word brahmin I hate the word shudra .<br />
<br />
I hate it when some guy with an IQ below average can ping me with a "Hey hot girl" and think he can act fresh !<br />
I hate it when such guys think that flirting is an OK thing to do . (does anyone in this world actually even want a proper relationship)<br />
<br />
I hate it when people say "wo studious type ki hai , use pyar me interest nahi hoga" why ? do only dumbos have the right to love ? :-/<br />
<br />
The knowledge that however hard I work , I wont be held in same esteem by my seniors as their favorites ,disgusts me.<br />
<br />
I hate it so much when people assume that people from "bigger" places are chalu. Place badha ya chota nahi hota , dil hota hai. In fact , I hate even using the words "big town small town".<br />
<br />
<br />
I hate it when people judge without testing or themselves experiencing the same.<br />
<br />
I hate it that I still have to converse with some of my crushes , I hate knowing that they ran after "beauty" and did not accept me. Yes , I did not understand that before , but now I know.<br />
<br />
I hate the fact that I am not as good as I wanted to be in my job.<br />
<br />
And I hate the fact that even though I have been bestowed less in matters of both beauty and brains , yet endowed with so much of feelings often converted into hot headedness and yet they seem quite valid.<br />
<br />
I hate it when people think wanting equal rights is feminism. By all means, please remove the Reserved for Ladies seat and replace it with Reserved for the elderely/pregnant.disabled seats.<br />
<br />
I hate knowing the fact that even though I have been there for most of my friends they wont be there for me.<br />
<br />
I hate it that people nowadays think that prompt reply is not the in thing to do<br />
<br />
And I hate advises 'coz I have heard all of them a hundred times before and implemented too.<br />
<br />
I feel much relieved now after vomiting all the bile.<br />
But someday , I will like to throttle the one who tricked me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-90105055133161323502014-06-08T12:43:00.000-07:002014-06-08T12:43:19.287-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is after three years of living by myself that I truly feel alone today.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I look around and there's no one around no one in my room.</div>
<div>
I have not isolated myself , yes I do have friends who call me, watsapp me but loneliness is a state of mind.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can be lonely in a crowd, no one is coming to get me.</div>
<div>
All the hopes have shed away , all the silver linings gone </div>
<div>
this life seems immense</div>
<div>
anything could go wrong</div>
<div>
and who would come to rescue me</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh I am so tired of being my own hero , rescuing myself all the time.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The evil queens were the princesses who were never saved.</div>
</div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-48476051404012291462014-05-11T09:31:00.000-07:002014-05-11T09:31:57.836-07:00A dream - which was never meant to be<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Is it funny that I dreamt of you again?<br />
Why is it that whenever I try to throw you out of my life that I see you again<br />
Is it because my sub-conscious still thinks we were meant to be ?<br />
Or am I delving too much into it<br />
Why haven't I liked anyone as much as I liked you?<br />
<br />
Is it because , I just can't or that I don't trust my sense of judgement anymore.<br />
<br />
I dream of you , that you asked me why I was avoiding you , I said its very hard for me to be just friends with you.<br />
You asked me why?<br />
I said , because I like you.<br />
<br />
You smiled me , pulled me closer , your fingers on my waist.<br />
I felt as if I had come home, to the person I belonged to.<br />
All my tensions , my misgivings vanished.. you never said what you felt, but your smile said it all.<br />
And all through the night you wouldn't let me go.<br />
<br />
I was by your side and you were by my side.<br />
Its funny how I remember the small details.<br />
It was a breezy night and I was wearing black. Well, so were you.<br />
<br />
Then when we were driving back (to home?) our shoulders were touching and even then I felt the need to hold your hand.<br />
It was warm and it felt mine.<br />
There was no fear no tension , just a sense of what was always meant to be. It all seemed real.<br />
<br />
And that's when I woke up.<br />
The real world dawned on me , and I realized you are nothing like what I saw you in the dream.<br />
<br />
But what if you were!</div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4125576901166818694.post-35863266100949102512014-04-19T00:20:00.000-07:002014-04-19T01:48:44.871-07:00Why do people get married?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This might seem a silly question but this is what is confusing me right now.<br />
This is not a question to oppose marriages, but rather the absence of answers.<br />
<br />
All my life till a month back I was like cool with the idea of both arranged and love marriages.<br />
I was all for each-to-his-own way, jiyo aur jeene do .<br />
<br />
But now I am like , why should we marry.<br />
So there can be a scenario where I am madly in love with a guy and I want to be with him forever.<br />
But is forever really for ever?<br />
Actually its not even marriage I am confused about , its the taam-jham which seems irrational.<br />
Why does the whole world need to know that you are getting hitched?<br />
<br />
And woe-begone if you have not fallen in love by 28 :(<br />
How do I give the same amount or more of love,respect and adoration that my friends get from me , to a guy who I know for only about two to six months? My friends did a lot to earn that and we do have a lot of camaraderie to warrant that kinda feeling.<br />
<br />
Seriously why should I fall in love before 30 and chalk out my whole future? Don't people get any time to mull over such decisions.<br />
<br />
And what about the slow ones ?<br />
You can be dyslexic in studies but not in love?<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong I have loved watching all the true blue rom-coms there are , and I have friends who are truly and really committed to each other (who don't make it embarrassing for friends) ..<br />
The only reason I could find is that people want to satisfy societal norms , but why satisfy anyone else before you can satisfy yourself?<br />
<br />
Or maybe the answer is much simpler , as what someone said to me " arre yaar sex karne ke liye ;)"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
I'll try 2 be truthfulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062558923773524259noreply@blogger.com5