thoughts

Ooooh Main to Moti ho gayi!

2012-01-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yaron,

The truth is that I never ever cared about being mota or patla.

jab main bachhi thi then mere relatives bolte the "beta kuch to kha le kuch to kha le, tere gaal gol gol ho jayenge ".

and I ate , I ate rosogullas , cakes , sizzlers , but to no avail.

Fir maine socha ki bhaiyya main to model banungi :D Tall dark and svelte ;)

But afsos, bachpan me jo height lambi lagdi thi , wo sali badhe hokar bhi same reh gayi .. hayyy ..

So I said koi nahi Ammu, hum to padhaku bache hai jo badhe hoke saxy ban jate hai :P

Fir , last year I joined mera job and came to know about my unhindered culinary skills (read dial and order).My love for pizza saw new dimensions when I came to know about the delicious pizzas @ 50/- wale offers :D aaay haayy every saturday sunday pizza and CCD ke brownies ke to kya kehne ... aur aisa hi chalta gaya .... for 6 months

and then suddenly out of the blue ------ "Ooooh Main to Moti ho gayi!"

Even then I didnt care ... arre life me to bhaiyya khao peeo aish karo :D

But then came The Vizag Trip and a Waterfall , waterfall pe chadhte chadhte to ho gayi meri OH MY GOD!!

and that is when I made this new year resolution To Finally Be Fit!!

Agenda 2012 :

I hate it when I go to a gym and have to run on a treadmill and my stupid hands are hanging side me :x ..... mano bhagwan ne meri sun li and achanak se mujhe ek skipping rope mil gaya!!!

(*boasts* The only races which I ever won were skipping races :D). Bass ab se I will do skipping everyday and be STRONG :D

Next in agenda is to give up my adorable , delicious babies -- Pizzas .

Those who are anjan from my Pizza love can view this post.

*cries uncontrollably at the separation*

But what must be done has to be done .

*takes deep breath and announces* My New year Resolution is to be like this :-

OK OK aankhein fadne ki zaroorat nahi hai , I will be something like :-

So here's wishing you a VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

khao peeo aish karo :) :) :D :D :) :) :D :D :) :)

p.s :- aaj egg chicken roll ke samne control nahi ho paya .. but kal se PROMISE!

Of SRK and Other Things...

2011-12-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

I shall always remember my Mom gushing over SRK and saying things like " I just love Sharukh". I never understood the reason for her infatuation.

An average looking person, who danced and acted like everyone else. His movies came and went by, met stupendous success and yet I failed to get why the world went gaga over him.

I even had the chance of meeting him , when the team of Koyla came to shoot at Tawang.The encounter left me very un-impressed, here was a guy who smoked by the dozen and was sitting with his legs on the sofa , at a private function, Sacrilege! Was he even anything compared to my then favorite Amir ? Not a chance, I was sure that the actor who I was yet to meet was as good as he seemed.

Then the growing up part happened, loss of of naivety happened, SRK movies became passable , yet,Ok , so this was a guy who had worked hard throughout his life , and yet I wouldn't root for him.

College wrapped up and naukri started, SRK persisted .

Then came a new era, when suddenly movies thrived on things I'd rather not watch. What used to be called cheap and flashy came to be known as bombastic and mind-blowing.These movies even with their 2 minutes of laugh riots and fun, failed to leave a lasting impression.

SRK still made his own movies, the way he wanted to ,re-inventing himself, yet keeping his essence like what it always had been. I turned to look at him, being pulled down from his throne, of people saying this they did not expect from him ,though the same was somehow acceptable for others.

And all of a sudden I don't care how this he looks , I see the dimples in his smile, I see the same twinkle in his eyes, I see how he looks at his kids , I see how he makes everyone around him laugh, I see the passion that emanates from him and I want him to succeed, I want him to make non-cringe movies, I want him to go get it, like he always has,I want him to woo people again and I know he will, coz' even though it took him 15 years, I finally see him the way my Mom did :).

Other things :

Does it hurt when you know your friend no longer remembers you?

8 Schools and 2 College Streams: Taught me that the ones left behind become memories.

Distance: is what never matters if you are the best of friends.

A Phone Call : is all it takes to talk it out.

An Email : is all that I have of someone whom I adored.

I have a different life : is what they say when they mean that you don't fit into it anymore.

Excuses : are what they make, when they forget that I can see through it, like I always have.

Cracks : are all that I can see.

Complaints: are all that I hear from you, about my friends, about me and I see a meanness in you.

Far Away : is what you seem now, and I don't even know why.

What do I say : when they ask me "kya tu mujhse gussa hai"

Nonchalance : is what I feel when I think of them. The sadness has evaporated.

If : you think i will ping you, I won't. If you think, I will call you, I won't.

Maybe : distance does matter , a lot.

I am : used to losing touch, but never had I thought that even these best friends would fall prey to the circle of life.

I wish : we could still be the way we used to , shout at each other with limitless glee, write to each other as often as we did and enjoy each others' company just like before.

Anyone who asks me about the above few, should know that irrespective of how it ended, I shall always remember their big smiles ,affection, solidarity, teachings, they are and will always be the sparkling stars of my memory.

Kahani thodi filmy hai

2011-11-12T11:54:00.000-08:00

one of the first things I feel like after watching a movie ,is confessing love, or rather getting a confession out of someone :P :P

I already know this is the kind of post where no one else comments on coz they probably don't wanna intrude your privacy kind of thing.

anyway , I seriously need to bring closure to certain ^ ^ things.
and oh! I forgot, heartbreak hoke fir kabhi na kabhi theek bhi ho jata hai.

"kabhi mujhe lage ke jaisa , sara hi ye jahan hai jadoo
jo hai bhi aur nahi bhi hai ye, fiza ghata hawa baharein
mujhe kare ishare ye
kaise kahoon, kahani main inki"

Teach Me

2011-10-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Teach me how to learn and I shall

Tell me whats wrong and I"ll make it right

Teach me what to do and I will

Tell me how life goes and I"ll follow it

Teach me how to be and I shall

Tell me where this road leads and I"ll walk

Teach me how to wait and I shall

Tell me to love and I will .

The Mahan Things I have done

2011-08-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

The Ladies and Zentlemen,

I want you to read the last line very carefully, varna mera mara hua muh dekhoge(literally).
This is a post , at the end of which you will probably cry or bless me from the core of your very heart.
Yes Of course, is story ki heroine main hu (na :D).Beware, this is the vain-est post you will see from me(I know you might be thinking.. huh! to ye to har post me hi karti hai), but still since I feel very good this morning, here I am on a very self-congratulatory note rather than a self-deprecatory note (which for some reasons is the more applauded one hmph!)

Anyway, here goes a list of the mahan things yours truly has done (they include standing up against injustice,corruption,helping people,being dayavaan and the works) :-

1.A strong believer in equality, and latho ke boot baaton se nai mante.. I promptly threw my pencil-box at my teacher.
She had given my class II ka paper to solve when I was in class I.

2. Once my friend Rupangi fell in a shitload of cow dung and started crying.I thought she was overdoing it, isliye main bhi usi me kood gayi. :P Also she stopped crying and started laughing.

3.My rule of life :- "Call friends when you want to .. irrespective of the fact whether it was you only who had called them the last 100 times" . agar main ye rule follow nahi karti to shayad aaj mere koi dost bachte hi nai :)

4.I have gifted mera bhai a Sony Camera, haven't yet bought one for me.

5.I once went and donated food and clothes to the beggars, without telling anyone at home about it.My mom still wonders where that potli went.

6.I have almost zero savings.I spend all of it on my family. I hate buying shoes for myself, my mom does that for me :)

7.I never forget people, or what they say to me.I can remember all of the stuff they have said to me.However, their memory isn't as good as mine.

8.I have always been fairly good in studies (Not the topper types but still good).I helped my brother who barely passed in Maths in class 11, he scored 79% in class 12. One of my happiest moments.

9. Also, I know that I'm beautiful and that's why I wear glasses, to give others the benefit of doubt.(What shit! glasses suck!They make my nose look chapta and I have to choose my earrings very carefully huh! My tryst with contact lenses is another story though..)

10.I refused to pay the TT bribe , just because I was traveling alone.I said 'aap asli wala fine lijiye , receipt ke sath'. He vanished.

There are thousands of things which I liked doing and made me feel good.

Now I want you to write something in this reply/comment which made you feel good about yourself. Chahe jo bhi ho, kuch bhi ho.I do not want any answers like "yaar tere jaisa to kuch bhi nai"

Happy Holidays :)

Nahi

2011-08-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ek khayal hai jo jata nahi,

Ek sapna hai jo dikhta nahi,

Boondein hai jo girti nahi,

Khwahish hai jo bujhti nahi,

Purane wo pal jate nahi

---Toh Zinda ho tum--

DayDreaming

2011-08-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

You know what happens when you suddenly wake up from a dream .
Its like suddenly you were in a stupor , everything else seemed to be just passing by and you didn't care about what was happening but knew in a mild sort of a way that yes they were related to you.

I think I realised that I died some 2 years back. Like, yes, I did everything that I was supposed to do , and boy did I do it right :D. But it was like a routine, like someone from far-away was telling me what to do and I was doing it.
I think I've forgotten how to cry. Like Joey tells Chandler "that's coz you are dead inside".

Its funny how so many things changed around me.So so so many things... friends have gone away .. new friends have arrived ..
and now I know about all the mobile phone schemes (yes, I had a post-paid connection in college.. hence), I'v had vodka hee hee ... and told my parents about it (they are pretty cool actually), you know blue-lagoon with vodka is yummy :D
I'm trying to grow my hair now (jaldi jaldi) .. Realised somethings like distance always and always brings on silence, that its true that the world is not a small place that you don't just bump into old friends .. but yes there is FaceBook (found a very , very old friend someone whom none of us had seen for 11 bloody years).That yes you can ping people and its not a big deal if they don't reply, that you can watch hindi-dubbed movies and still enjoy with friends :D , that people think that I get angry very easily.. actually I just like to speak out clearly and those are the times when I'm at my coolest best ;)

Also, smileys are cool.I mean there are so many things you can do with a bracket and a semicolon hehe!

L
O
V
E
is probably for the young .. you either fall or you don't. I am not waiting anymore.

Also, *respect* to Pyar Ka Punchnama ... no I don't think that it shows all girls in bad light.It actually shows how to get out of a sucky relationship. I dedicate the song "Bandh gaya patta" to all IT proffessionals who have to wear the tag on their necks. I'm doing a secret revolution of kinds by refusing to wear it on my neck (and tie it to my purse instead .. or rather make a bracelet of sorts with it).

L
I
F
E
just happens. My nani is in the ICU ... and I'm quite sure that she will get allright. You know what? Today I went to visit her, and she actually smiled when I said , "dida you get allright then we will eat icecreams :D" (Icecream is one of her favorite things in the world).I remember 2 weeks back , I just went to her with a tub and how gleefully we ate chocolate icecream :))
Also, there was a woman in the bed besides my nani.. and all the while her husband ,a well built Army Officer, was carrying her handbag .. and then when she felt hungry .. so patiently fed her milk with a spoon.And people say girls get senti all the time. Even a stone would if they saw them :)

It was rakhi today... and I tied rakhi to Vaibhav yesterday (seriously mere apne bhai ne bhi mujhe kabhi cold coffee nahi banake dia).and mujhe bohot sare chocolates mile. I know, it sounds so typical na? fir bhi acha lagta hai :)
Maybe some typical things are good.

Ending Note :-
Special Like to all the bloggers who have continued.. and thats because they really like it.
Abhishek Khanna's Furobiker continues to rule with the latest post saying

"Life is Like an Hourglass,
Eventually everything hits the bottom

And All you have to do is wait it out
Until someone comes and turns it around"

Life is also what hits you when you wake up from DayDreaming.

Six months later

2011-06-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

It is such a sense of freedom to know that no one will be reading you.

Six months later, most of the known names have disappeared from the blogging scene. I frankly don't care about the new replacements.

I shall write now unhindered and will not publish these posts on facebook.

I have a job now.. even though it never feels like a job. The days pass by one by one.. all the same yet different. I have a set, a band of friends now. I've had vodka (once) ,I speak laugh and do everything. Its as if these six months have made me regain my life back.

Some friends have broken away, some drifted away. I should've known better.. thats always how it is. However much you love your friends everyone has to go away. The world is not really that small. But now unlike before, even though I know this, I'm not afraid of speaking what I think.

I stay almost 24 * 7 with the nicest couple who treat me like their baby.

But sometimes when I look at them.. I want what they have.. what my parents have.

I also try to be clever and have crushes on so called handsome faces.. but I know i dont give a damn about them.

I cared only once and that feeling is long gone.

"Its time to move on" is what I feel and know that I am moving on. But some part of me, still wants to hold on , hold on to what could have been, hold on to my imaginations.

Now that I'm ok again, I still wait for that one phone call, knowing very well that the things wished for are not what you get.

Even though this is a new life with everything new , this life is perfect.

Maybe I have finally become normal or finally know myself.

I do like work :) well anyone would if they were where I am :).

People at work don't care about if I'm cool or not.. they somehow like me.

I like watching fun, I like having fun, I like dancing with my flatmate , I like waking up in the morning, Weekends have this special meaning, I like arguing. I like having my life back.

BOO!

2011-04-03T01:57:00.000-07:00

Back here after 5 months :)) kaise ho tum log? Everything seems the same yet something is amiss. I miss my people back there.. miss my friends, miss those lazy sundays ,those steamy cups of maggi the 50 mins of test ka tension ,reading blogs via something shady called "shecalledme" . I want to write more but words don't seem enough. All I can remember is what a friend said ,"When people of the same madness level meet they become great friends ". Life does make you meet good people too .. its just that we've probably been too busy to see them.. and now that I know they are there I feel content, happy. I really don't have anything more to write about ,maybe because i'm at peace :)) ttaata

Dedications

2010-10-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

To,

Saheli Random Ramblings !, Tyro Scratch Pad, Madhuri Mads Mad Mess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
Akansha Tadka!!!!!!!!!!! It sizzles!!!!!!!!!!

- It was great meeting you all , Saheli I knew from before, and the others from this world of blogs.
I like reading you as much as I like talking to you. This is not a goodbye, just an overwhelmed appreciation of things that happened, I call you my friends. :)

To,

The Furobiker, Cherrie's Blogs, James, Resurgence,Sree, Matangi Mawley, , BLOG VIBES, Frustration is just the beginning of medicine , JoieDeVivre, Raphael,
Viva forever...

I've been reading your blogs since the last 3 years. Back then most of us were newbies and the growth in all of you has been great, a mix of intelligence , sarcasm, sense and love is what make up your blogs (I'm no judge, just voicing what I feel) , you are the ones who can really pen your thoughts, the ones who write more than blog and I hope to find you the same when I come back.

-Nautanki ladki

To,

Andy,Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?,Dr. Acula, i me & "not so much of" myself ... ™, My Own Little World- Dhanya, TheDevilInDisguise.

I wish I'd blogrolled you earlier :)

-keep writing
:D :D :D

- Why all this show sha you ask? I'm not quitting :) just maybe taking a break, shayad 1 week shayad 1 month, but like Karan Arjun I will come back. I just felt like dedicating something to all of you , thoda aj feeling zyda aa raha hai :) anyway, happy rehna, keep blogging and more importantly enjoy life as much as you can ...

- c ya

Things

2010-10-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

woke up this morning to find that I was missing something.....
turned out to be the things which I"ll leave behind... well, almost.

Song Dedication : Damn Cold Night(I'm with You) - Avril Lavigne

Leave Out The Rest

2010-10-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Stole a Tag, felt very much like doing it ,especially since it seems that everyone's given up on tags :)

Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

I'm also putting up a list of RK smileys(here & there) :D

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?

"Vaise Pyaar Ke Naam Pe To Yaaro Sab Huaa Hai Ab Ye Pyaar Bhi Ho Jaaye Bas Itni Duaa Hai"

:P :P if only 'this' meant love..

RK in love : RK-love

2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

"Mil gaye jo chora chori, Hui masti thodi thodi Bas pyaar ka naam na lena ,I hate luv stories"

this is good ;)

RK|:-Ifeelgood--)

3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

To The Moon and Back-Savage Garden
"now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come And she'll say to him She's sayin I would fly to the moon and back if you be... If you be my baby"

4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Tujhe Bhula Diya

"Dol pal tujh se juda thha,Aise phir rasta muda thha, Tujh se main khone laga,Juda jaise hone laga....... Mujh se kuch mera
"
sad RK : RK-(

5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Fireflies

"I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly..."

Firefly RK : RK-ƸӜƷ

6.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Nain Parindey

"Nain parindey baadal baadal Khwaabon ke sitaare chun lenge , Hoo nain parindey chaand chura kar Palkon se apni dhak lenge"

RK in goggles: B-RK

7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

hahahhhaha !!!!!! weird !!

"One fine day You're gonna want me for your girl"

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

:D :D By the Way - Aisha

"Tumse kehdenge hum saari baatein Kaise hain apne din kaisi raatein heeyy… Koi na koi hulchul rehti hai dil mein Harpal… log hai kehte paaal… humko oohhoo"

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

"Mann Lafanga bada, apne mann ki kare"

10.WHAT IS 2+2?

Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto .

RK sexy : RK-@-.-@

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
aaila!!

River flows in you- Yurima

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Oh I wish !
" tum jo aye zindagi me baat ban gayi "

13.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Naturally-Selena Gomez

dancing RK : \RK/

14.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Mar jawaan
hainnn??

15.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Down - Jay Sean
"So baby don't worry, you are my only, You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down, You"ll be my only, no need to worry"
RK <3

16.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift

:O maybe because I"ll be leaving .....
Mom & Dad <3

17.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

:D :D :D
She Wolf - Shakira

18.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

'Tera hone laga hoon'

:| bhagwan ko pyari hone lagi hoon.

RK sexily dead : RK-deadintowel

19.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

"Pyar Impossible" *evil grin*

RK evil : RK|3:-)

20.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Skater Boi- Avril Lavigne

"He was a boy, she was a girl Can I make it anymore obvious? "

21.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Hey Soul Sister - Train

22.WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Leave Out The Rest - Linkin Park

Rk saying tata: RK-flying|:-*

The Sound Of Morning

2010-09-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 5 am today, it reminded me of the time when I was an early riser.Lately, sleeping schedules and of course net addiction has resulted in getting up late. Now, I don't have any problem against those who sleep till 11 am, why my brother never wakes up before 11 during holidays.

I've never been much of a morning jogger or stuff, I just love meandering around, listening to things, watch the dawn break out.. simple things. It was raining when I woke up, something about rains in the morning is so indescribably soothing especially the rustling of the leaves. Yes even though some people find it eerie it is one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. Even if it isnt raining, and the trees rustle.. wow I feel like Heidi.

Heidi was one of the first books I'd read along with Little Women, I loved both, but Heidi remains close to heart. At that time we used to live in a cozy small town in Assam, surrounded by huge trees and even now the sound of trees remind me of my quaint life back there.

My granny had an eccentric neighbour with 12 cats, every morning right on time she would switch on her Radio, turn it up to full volume, so that every one could hear it. The first strains of music from All India Radio is another favorite morning sound. There's something so un-music like about it that it seems melodious.

Then ofcourse there's the thing which makes no sound, but creeps in stealthily. Have you seen how the sky is just before the Sun is about to rise, a bit purplish , a bit mauevish and the horizon looks beautiful. The dawn breaks and all the other sounds come alive the chattering of birds, the tring tring of the doodhwala, the newspaper walah throwing the paper and of course the smell of tea... :)

I realised what a contrary experience is waking up at 9, all you get to hear is the maid shouting at you asking for some vim bar or washing powder, then you have to right away make breakfast or something.. leaving no time to enjoy the morning. I used to like waking up early & I think I"ll go back to my old habit ... also addiction to net isn't a very good thing, but alas! I don't really have much to do nowadays. dekhte hai kya hota hai .. :) till then cheerios.. :)

P.S: here's a site you can go through in case you feel some need for hope

http://www.givesmehope.com/

Insomniac

2010-09-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

Since I'm feeling utterly fresh and un-sleepy now , talk about holidays! I was going through my old scraps. and the way we'v now shifted to facebook, made me realise how more open and sweet we were on orkut. back then we didn't know what we should post and what we shouldn't, and talked as we wanted to. It was like we were really expressing ourselves without knowing that anyone else would *like* it. Not that I mind being liked. Found meself laughing at some scraps and smiling at the innocence of others.I present here some of them which made me laugh and wonder where most of them are now.. why after the first few months of orkut we didn't keep in touch as zealously as we had started off. Anyway, enough of procrastinations,
The following are some of the first scraps from my scrapbook :-

1. I(think I) had asked this guy how many girls were there in his class ...

Guy: ur other question regarding gals will b answered if u ve a luk at this site

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/IIT

2. My first fest :)

Girl: So r u goin to atttend the fest on all 3 days?? 18/03/2007

3. aaah those awf-some graphic days

Girl: tui naki sakal 7 tay ghum theke utheii graphics korte boshe gachis!! grtt!

translation: heard you woke up at 7 and pounced on your graphic sheets? gr8!!

4. hahahha!! you know her

Girl:What is a Kiss..? In view of:..

GEOMETRY-Kiss is the shortest distance between 2 lips.
ECONOMICS-Kiss is that thing 4 which DEMAND is higher then SUPPLY!
PHYSICS-Kiss is the process of CHARGING a human body..
COMPUTER-Kiss is like a LAN, in which 2 bodies are connected without DATA CABLE...!

5. Girl: she has written committed but not he .......

6.an unknown Girl: neway howz is Bala doin? is bar kya uska attendance 30% se jyada hai ?

7. Would you imagine apologising to someone for not being online ? well, that was some guzra hua zamana

Guy:yup.....sry for tht...actually sem got over in april n ve been on a vacation since then...so come online very infrequently....neways wats up wid u...

8. The people whom u never remembered were even there in your class, and hence asked for a clarification. I'm serious, even now I don't remember this fella or laughing at his handwriting :|

Guy: ok this may may make me remember me a though it is a negative point

i had the worst handwriting in our class
u had even laughed at seeing my project in manika's hand
because it was prepared very badly
i had noticed that u had laughed at my project since i had an eye on every student in the class
we were in 9c at that time
u may not remember me by my name but u will surely remember this
do you?

9.Exchanging songs :))

Girl: this isMahiya
Somewhere Out There, I Know There Is Someone
Who Is Waiting Just For Me Maahiya
He Is Gonaa Set Me Free Maahiya
Jiski Aankhon Mein Meri Hi Nami Ho
Koyi Toh Hai Woh Yaar Maahiya .........

..... these lyrics are too much abt captivity.......the girl is captured.......

10. Guy : u hav to register in dat website...they'll give u an url......u send it to ur frndz......
if u copy my url....all ur frndz crushes will be sent to me!!

When I re-read it, I thought all my friends' crushes will become his!!

11. Last but not the least, this ones from the usual unwanted unknown somebody who not only adds u, but by god atleast purane zamane me they used to give it a good try, ajkal to those unknown types just 'add' you, no hi & no cheesy message either.

cheesy scrap No. 1 :If i say hi.......u may say whoz this.... if i ask for chat....u may say why??.... if i ask u for a coffee.....u may say wt rubbish.... if i say i liked ur profile......u may say m flattering u..... if i ask for frnship.......u may say m flirting...... so can u plz suggest me hw to start wid a new relation.........???? till u reply i am trying wid a request.........".....m here looking for friends i like u, ur name is tellin me that ur some1 who can b my frnd.....……

hey m addin u up....hope u dont have ne problem.......
gave a good day....bye>.
b in touch......tata

ps : and thats how the cookie crumbles. My sense of humour gets jaded as dawn draws nearer, but if you've stuck till the very end, I'd like to hear about some of your first scraps too ;)

- c ya

My green chaddar

2010-09-09T04:55:00.001-07:00

This post is not inspired from Ruskin Bond's The Blue Umbrella. I couldn't find another word for chaddar, you will understand as you read on.

The hero of this post is my green chaddar. It came to my life some 7 years back, and its not any normal chaddar i.e bedsheet/bedcover nor is it some blanket, it is actually two cotton saris stitched together, these saris belonged to my grandfathers' sister and she did the work. Its a plain good old green, but i dont reckon theres any cloth softer than it. I have slept with it since the day I got it, through summers , winters ,rainfalls. Its a bit tattered now, but I love it nonetheless.

It provides the perfect warmth and even in summers feels nice. I think the softness comes from being used by a woman who is as soft as a feather, a drop of vaseline cream, a mound of softy.She's no more but her touch remains. It feels nice.

Earlier I used to sneak it in my suitcase, when we'd go on a trip. Well the first time around my dad said 'The hotel staff will throw it away with the morning rubbish'. I was adamant. It goes where I go. Resort ho ya hotel, I've taken it with me, coz when I have it, sleep comes easily.

You might think why this silly post about attachment to a non-living thing.

I"ll be leaving home in about a month, and will of course smuggle it with me, and it will remind me of all the times I've slept in peace, in worries, in half awakened sleep.... in my home.

BTW time for a Mom Dialogue:

Mom: oh I will miss you too much
me: ma you are doing as if I'm getting married!
Mom: That would've been better *sob*
me: WHAT!!
Mom: at least there are no fixed no. of holidays in a marriage .

Slowly the realization is dawning that I may after all miss home. home cheez hi aisi hai :)However , my green chaddar will remain with me , as a lil reminder, of things that made up 'home' & I really hope that we stay together ,always.

barish

2010-08-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

tanhai ki jaise kuch barish hui
tanha tab bhi the kuch
ab bhi hai
par tab khalti na thi

life moved on, took me with it
leaving astray my moments
Oh how I wish they were still strewn
so that I could go back and collect them all

mann maan gaya, main maan gayi
ziddi hai kuch tanhai
apna bana liya isne
ke ab isi me bas gaye hum

Bliss remembers sadness
thinks if that was real
The irony is that bliss rues,
it rues the loss of sadness.....

my attempt at poignant poetry :)
inspired by : """''Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
khoya khoya in raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi''

I like Esha's dadi, New light shines on OM aunty, Saheli is flying

2010-07-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

Esha's dadi scolds people a lot,
She doesn't spare aunty,Esha or Esha's guy friends
coz' ajkal ke bachhe are always on phone or online,
E's dadi thinks these are a waste of time.
Esha's dadi loves wearing white and never lets anyone pick her plate
I'm sure she's a brilliant cook coz now she tells the maids what to do
She sits and manages the household
and always says "Bari pouche phone kore diyo' (give a call when u get back home)
She's funny and quirky and has a crooked smile,
Her eyes glitter nevertheless,
and she's got more life than many 20 ki kudiyan.
I hope I get to see her many more times,
sitting on that sofa and smiling her crooked smile.:)

OM Aunty, well that's not her real name
She's my mom's school friend
I've always found her a bit funny
She left her job in an MNC 5 years back (I thought that was duh!)
She's unmarried 'coz her father didn't like any of the prospects(I thought is that possible in this century)
She's asked us to do 'namaste' rather than shaking hands for the fear of germ transmission,
She tells us to do OM chants early in the morning
She asks a lot of questions (I thought 'oh why the needling!!')
But now I know
She takes care of her old parents
She's still holding their hands, but this time they need her support
She turned a veg thinking of not hurting any kind of life and hence the fear of germ transmission
OM Aunty is funny in her ways-- she compared SRK- Devdas to some office guy,
She'll probably keep suggesting solutions till u choose one out of exasperation
But it's all selfless.
She's probably always been like that, it's just that we dont like people bothering too much upon us lest it feels like an intrusion.
And intruders aren't welcome but Om aunty advises, only hoping, that something good will come out of it. :)

Let me write this before she says 'SHUT UP'
Its just like a serial
where two good friends have to part ways after college
and invariably after 10 years fall in love with the same guy
One of the girl goes a lil mad and uses her friend and seduces the guy
However, the ending is always happy as the hero ka newly-single dost is always there for the mental girl.
Now I don't know if the above serial prediction will come true or not, but the first line is already coming true.
Oh yes I will come to her wedding and the blah but that is door ki baat (I think)
She's a little sad going to the land of coconut oil,
But we know she"ll be a babe there,
coz she's just bought a lot of clothes for there and has a * I will kick* attitude that none can match.
We know she"ll do well , and probably improve her new-found culinary skills.
I just hope she doesn't find another one like me
And even if she does
' For You Saheli, a thousand kicks over' :)

Abstract are the people & none of the paras rhyme.
People don't rhyme, they're just parts of a jigsaw puzzle called life.

I don't hate love stories

2010-07-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

I hate pretensions.

I do not understand why a *g.f* has to wipe icecream off her guy's pants. I do not understand why love means being mushy, eating chocolates and icecreams, loving pink and red and going berserk over gifts ( the more expensive the better).

I do not understand why love has got nothing to do with being a hero, being a heroine, with understanding the person and yet loving them so that everything seems lovely without making an effort, with finally knowing.

People think these are the signs of falling in love :-

1. One asks Questions like " ye pyar kyu hota hai" , "kash kahin koi mere liye bhi bana ho", "someone to understand me*sigh*" ( boss apne aap ko pehchan lo mahan baat ho jayegi!).

2. The girl starts liking teddies, bunnies and all sorts of dead stuffed animals made a million times "cuter" than their live prototypes. And guys probably start using more aftershave ( I have no idea what guys do , actually)

3. DEMAND: pout,deodrant,big eyes,suddenly a guy jisne apni maa ko kabhi kitchen me help nahi kiya hoga starts showing *chivalry* by demanding that the girl wears a certain type of clothing. haha!

4. Some people start with the possesion of atleast two mobiles one cdma and one normal , with multiple SIMs, all supposedly for the *reduced* cost of talking.

Like a wise man once said " Love happens, but attraction is misleading"

But what about?

1. Red rings under one's eyes ( Girls don't squeal at the thought of eddy cullen!!)
2. Being sure.
3. Not wanting anyone else and if the said person isnt there then making do with imagination.
4.Becoming tongue tied and acting in an absolutely opposite way (OK! now I sound like some guidance counselor)
5. That squeamish feeling

The problem is the above stated symtoms are "all in the head" and cant really be seen.

So do I hate Love (not luv) stories? Not going by my track record, I don't think I understand the victorian, elizabethan zamane wala love stories where guys called gals "maa'm" and invariably a "rescue session" would follow, where people would fall in love chutki bajate hi, coz they knew in 1 second that this fella is mah soulmate. I mean how do u do it. isse achha to apne hindi films hai, atleast in kuch kuch... it took them 8 years to know, even in Lamhe love takes its own sweet time.

Love is like a wine, it takes the experiences of people from all over time, inculcates them and finds its true flavor.

Oh btw this post is effect of watching two horrendous in a day. One as everyone must have guessed is "IHLS" and the other a regional commercial one which translated in English would be
"Ye lover you are mine". hehe isme a girl ( of 15 years ) falls for a scooter mechanic, and then they run away from home, pretty much do everything, and towards the end heroine ka pitaji beats the guy up. headache stuff!! and is still giving me the creeps.

Only in one point do I agree with IK, that sometimes when filmy things happen, you might think that " oooh this is just like that movie I saw and pyar aise hi hota hai" It's sad but even I don't know what to do and like some kid once said "jab tere liye koi red hearts banayega na tab pata chalega".

I don't know what it will be like if such a time ever comes, but loving love stories has never meant loving silliness, loving silly things and a primary criterion seems to be " showing off" and doing all the 'coochie coo' one can , not in a 'I'm-blissfully-aware-of-the-world-around-me' (that is kinda a sweet) , but in a ' Oh do look at me coz' I have one eye on the world even when I'm with him/her'. My friend says when in love IQ diminishes a lot, well I say maybe we should think of rising upto it rather than *falling* in it. ( I know all this sounds like some high handed rubbish, but its just that I see too many people who discard the use of common sense in the *hope* of finding love and also because (someone might kill me for this) but some girls have this idea that guys like dumber girls, the rest are my friends who like pink and the blah just because they like them )

Oh and My brother and his gf ( and a group of friends) were sitting in the same hall when we were watching ihls. khekhekhe!!
Seeing them sometimes I also feel that some people find it so easy to tell it to the one who truly matters while some others just can't tell and prefer to lounge. But like I say, it's not always the words which matter ( and sometimes they do matter a lot) . You see I'm as confused, with only a few notions but I ain't asking around for any explanations, rather others think I'm some hard hearted juvenile.

I love the in-love couples btw, the kinds where they don't need to show and they just know it.
But alas! sad are our circumstances and rare are people who have the real thing.

For a mo' there also forgot that I hate offering explanations and should've kept mum about the whole mis-judgement thing, but whatever, all I wanna say is

Why be so aware,
Why be so willing ,
Why let your heart break
Why adhere to norms
Why think of customs
Why bind yourself
Why even think of the future
Why not wait
Wait and watch if your heart can be whole
Why not carry that glow in your heart
The glow which lights it up like a fire
&then you"ll know baby, what love is.

A Letter

2010-07-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

To Amrita of 2009,

I know that you've been worrying. you feel sad when you shouldn't, you've been acting in a completely opposite way to what you've been feeling. The bad thing is that you've been acting quite great and no one seems to notice anything amiss. But don't be sad, coz' life will turn out to be quite different than what you think. Fortunes will turn, friends will be found and woes will be got rid of.

I know that you are fed up with all the thinking and all the planning and all the doing and all the dreaming about how things will end. How the sun will truly shine when you get yourself back.

I know that you feel bad that things turned in a way different from what you thought, that sometimes you feel that theres a hole in your heart.

But I also know that even in all that murkiness, you are trying hard. Trying hard not to be superficial, to be tactful and careful about what you say and what you do. Trying very hard to keep up the mask that is not you.

But also remember that one fine day it"ll be gone, that day you will find your strength without the need of hiding the person you are. It is difficult but believe me, that day will come. When you will feel good, when you will know what you are. Just remember you dont need anyone else. When you know who you are for your self worth, everything else fades back into oblivion.

Those who make you feel bad by pointing at your weaknesses are nothing but scum and scum dont have happy endings.

Albeit it might take a lot of time to get what you want, but when you do and heart of heart even now you know that one day everything will be just the way you've wanted to, that day you"ll realise that winning a small race is nothing compared to being the winner in the end.

However, do not ever let the search of being a better human being be diminshed. Things change, people change, circumstances change, just rememeber that sometimes its very important to spell out what you dont like. Every turn in life will present something new, just try not to be too surprised by them. Acceptance is the key to peace.

And honey,keep it up and if there's a load, just lift it up and throw it out ;)

-Amrita 2010

Batch 2006-2010

2010-06-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving , I really am and its unavoidable, not that I ever wanted to avoid it.

I've been walking down the same lane for the last four years, knowing always that this day would come.I haven't been sentimental at all, except the day before my last exam, didn't study, kept remembering everything and everyone. How we'd all met, congregated together, all with specific goals for the future. Things, goals, people have changed in these four years, the change was subtle yet now one can see them clearly.

Few people know this, but when I was taking a year break after my boards, I had enrolled in a day college (just like that, to have something to show for the year lag) I went there for exactly one class and hated it. I knew that place wasn't me, I cried when I got home and resolved never to go back there. That was the best decision.

I guess I'm not really feeling a sense of loss, because I know what's mine will always be there for me. It was one of those places where there was a strong sense of belonging, it kinda adapted itself to me like I was always meant to be there, like I knew that good things were bound to happen here and that nothing else would feel the same way.

.Life is bitter sweet you know, and most people leave a fleeting impression on us , however there are some who bring out the best in us by letting us be what exactly we are. We face life in the best way possible, and it might boomerang, nevertheless your strength lies in thinking that some fine day it would all measure up.

Have been thinking of a hundred ways of writing this post , and with three drafts ready, still can't decide which one sums it up. 'Coz nothing could sum up everything. It"ll pitiable if I even attempted to add it up. So lets just live the moment and look forward to whatever comes along.

We"ll be stepping into a new kinda world ( to state the obvious) but wherever y'all go , what we had was good and it"ll remain that way. Let's just have cool lives.

And now for some fun to end this post. Following is an excerpt from something a silly girl wrote four years back..

9/12/06

"........... right now my life is pretty smooth with studies going good( touche wood). You know I just love going to college and I mean anyone would after an isolation period so long. And since I'm writing after such a long time lets start by giving an intro of my classmates :-

S :- She's become a relatively good friend over a short span of time, especially since I'm so not into fast friends. She seems a lil shy but otherwise is pretty nice and really helpful!!.

........... I think A is a little mad as in he is not as mature as a regular 19 year old should be but that's likable and its always cute to watch a " A and R " fight......... "

I could only smile when I read it. :)

-cya

Food For Thought

2010-06-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

What do you like? When you get up in the morning? Something to go with your tea? or coffee? or the plain good old beverage.
Cream biscuits or the butter filled ones never really made my day good, always preferred the Krack-'n'-Jack variety and with coffee would be best.Maybe a Plain cake with no other variants like fruit or nuts would be nice too.

Breakfast when I'm alone consists of two dark toasts with honey (never preferred butter but make do with it when necessary) a nice lil sandwich made with my special family filling - just jab at a boiled egg, some tomato sauce, cheese, and more sauce and its done. Tastes delicious!

How do people eat butter? like literally eating it without putting it on/in something. Its like it sticks to your throat.
waise upma tastes yummy with it in it and so does soup.

At midday again, when there's that familiar feeling of not wanting to drone on and yet have something to nibble at they say you should have some fruits. I hate fruits btw, most of the time, with a very few exceptions. Its summer time and I haven't yet come across a single mango I like. woe begone! Way back when we were in Assam, there used to be a litchi tree in our garden, a big one, I remember climbing it, putting up a cane jhula on it and then having a massive fall, but the thing one rememebers the most are the litchies, loads and loads of them. I think I've had strawberries only once at a friend's house. There's this scene in Pretty Woman about how strawberries bring out the taste in champagne. yet to try both :)

I make do with some kind of shake ( My mom gives me the eye if I have more than 1 spoon of coffee a day so no cold coffee every day)

Lunch is usually home made stuff, dal with ghee and achar,rice,fish curry (detest fish but eat it nevertheless) or chicken or my rajma (which is seldom cooked coz' I'm its only fan) or paneer (which is awefully cooked by maid dearest). Mom cookes only on holidays making them more delicious and my appetite more eager for each of her biryani/echor/posto/malai chingri/ilish/keema yum yum !

I guess what I'm trying to say is that food connects. Its not only the aroma or the flavor that you remember its something of a memory too. Like whenever we order a Sizzler, the story of how when I was lil girl of only five had polished off a full sizzler leaving my parents astounded coz' before that, my appetite was unheard off. There are these little things which connect us with people, some food my evoke good memories and some bad ( Like Chandler Bing's memory of Thanksgiving. heh!)

There was someone who once asked me why I didnt shift to hostel( my home was about an hour and half from my college then) , and I seriously couldn't find a better reason than 'good ol' home food'.

I remember my brother most when it comes to sandwiches. He makes even the simplest ones taste and look so good. He and his gf have this rule of not buying gifts for each other. So on her birthday he baked a cake for her, and for us too :) Young love !

Once my dad tried to cook some dinner, well he tried making some kinda roast with red wine which was to put it in kind words : Puke worthy. He has since then, been restricted to breakfasts only. Mum though, specialises in everything and scolds me if I sing when helping her, she says hey it requires as much concentration as your padhai.

That leaves me, the one who spills more pours less, burns more cooks less, eats more asks less, and if left to her own means would truly sincerely doggedly try to pursue what they've accomplished.However, After much trying & failing would take out a pack of cheeselings and munch on them.

And therefore I usually eat anything eatable. No complaints , no demands :)

P.S: Reading about food makes me hungry as well.

2010-05-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

If these were only thoughts
I wouldn't have written them.

If there was desideratum
I would have made it.

If there were memories
I would have known them.

If there was sadness
I would have felt it.

And If there was love
I would have known it.

H-O-T

2010-04-24T04:55:00.000-07:00

Do you feel a certain restlessness ? maybe breathlessness coupled with butterflies in your stomach,which ultimately makes you see small small stars and countless planets in front of your eyes?
Don't worry it isn't that usual confluence of emotions called LOVE , you're just getting a heat stroke.

If you never knew the meaning of feeling HOT, well now you know it.

My feet and hands have been charcolized and I don't even live in the sati yug.... wondering if that would make me candidate enough to be a penguin in my next reincarnation. Sigh! If only I could flap my wings, slide and do a *wheeeeee* with joy on the crescent of Antartic I'd be happy feet forever.

You know the heat has got to you when you cant think about anything other than it.
your thoughts go like : "Oh No! Its so shine-ly sunny outside" or" Man! Can't bear to step outside for the life changing viva I have to give" or "Where's my chata , where's my chata"

Even people like me who always believed that SUN is really a very good source of Vitamin D have been taken down.I dont know if SPF's even work, but I sure need a LCD screen.

And then amidst all this hotness I've stil gone out with friends, forgetting for one moment about the omnipresent yellow-ness, in search of a Havana, a Coca Gabbana and find a cafe which suits our budget. Siting with friends having an inane conversation , my mind slept off to the time when I used to long to be a part of a group of friends chatting away and for that fleeting moment the heat became bearable.... :)

However , bubbles burst too soon and cafes are sadists. We were served mud-paste in the name of cold coffee which left a yucky feeling all over for the rest of the day . That brings us to the end of this post but not before saying " I'm on a mission to save the world... from bad cold coffee..

Enthused by reactions of friends and family here is my perfect recipe for cold coffee:-

For 2 glasses :-

Pour in a Mixer/ Shaker

7-8 cubes of ice
4 teaspoons of coffee
4 teaspoons of sugar
1/2 glass of cold water
lil less than 1 full glass of milk

Mix/shake as long as u don't hear the ice getting crushed. and Viola! Its ready :)"

tip 1: to save your mixie from damage, you can crush the ice before putting it in.
tip 2: never ever and swear to god use those ghastly instant cold coffee pouches!!

-see ya

My Dad has asked me to never write this to a real guy

2010-03-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

Info: We had our Tech Fest - DAKSHH 2010 which had a competition called Tech@Heart, and my entry came second ;) ( I won a Dell T-shirt! :P) We had to pen a *love-letter* in techie lingo.
I dedicate this post to my last Tech fest here. The letter given below is followed by an index of tech terms (aapki help ke liye) ;)

and without much ado here it is :

THE LETTER

To The Scanner Of My Heart,

From the moment(as defined by The Platinum Iridium cylinder in Paris) my irises saw you, my cardiac valves did more back flips than a sawtooth waveform, only this time it was generated by the CRO inside me. The vectors of two points on a Gaussian field belong together and you belong with me. I stored your image in my cache memory for ever.

I still remember the first time that we met, you were near the Klystron Amplifier and I was besides the Lathe Machine. Just like these devices are so different, like a cation attracts an anion, our pheromones attracted each other. Your eyes found me like TCP found IP. When you came within a proximal distance of 0.25m within me, I could feel electrons flowing through my viens with a speed of 10power30 GHz.

But then I lost you. I searched endlessly for you on the Internet, The Ethernet, The Telnet and what not. But alas! Without you I was morose like a Matlab program gone so wrong that it doesn't even know the difference between a root() command and sinc function.

It was on the eve of pi day when I saw you again. Even in that melange of a million people you spotted me. My adrenaline was pumping @ 2.5 times higher than usual. I immediately sent you my ARP request packet to which you replied coz' I knew that your heart was unicast towards me.
Like a Wien Bridge connected to itself, like integration and diffrentiation , where one is nothing without the other. You know? When Information from your oral mouth reaches my olfactory lobes,it's bliss, akin to ISO completing OSI.

My lacrimal glands moisten up as I write these last lines.

An ATMEG32 can never run without AVR, and neither can my respiratory system without you.
So WHAT ARE YOU waiting for? Get on your higehest mileage giving,lowest fuel guzzling and eco-logical automobille and come to me. 'Coz here I am, all lonely , twirling 1K, 2K and 10 K ohm resistances, waiting , only for you....

Yours Truly

Black Isotropic Woman
*****************

P.S: When I had written it, I hadnt really thought of putting it down on some rough paper, had directly written on the paper provided. Now my memory isnt some cache that I"ll remember everything. However whatever I've written is 99% same to same :)

P.P.S: We also bagged the third prize in the MAD-AD contest (impromptu advertisement), We as in Saheli, Abhay and Me. But that story is for some other time and best told by anyone but me!

P.P.P.S: As for my DAD, he promptly slept off after a very enthusiastic recitation by moi. DAD: "ye kabhi kisi real bande ko mat likhna, bhag jayega" :D :D : D

Non-Info: "Tech List" ( For engineers and non-engineers alike )

1. Tech: yantra
2.Scanner: That thing in malls which makes a *peek* sound , jisse saman measure hota hai.
3.Platinum-Iridium Cylinder: It's a 1kg cylinder used as a standard for wt.

4.Irises: aapki aankho ke andar ka black black.
5.Cardiac Valves: Dil ke compartments
6.Sawtooth Waveform:--->

7.CRO: Cathode Ray Oscillator: used to *see* waves.
8.Vector: Anyth with magnitude and direction, jaise chalta hua train.
9.Gaussian Field: yaar Maths me ek football field jaisa concept hai.

10.Cache: Computer ka ek superfast and easy to access memory
11.Electrons: Negative charge wale small small things.
12.Klystron Amplifier: Used to increase the speed of electrons.

13.Lathe Machine: Carpentry machine which I hated!!
14.Cation and Anion: positive and negative charges.
15.Pheromones: Sex attractants present in everyone (khekhekhe! )

16.TCP/IP: Computer connections me ek type ka protocol ( matlab in rules ke hisab se hota hai connection)
17.Ghz: Unit Of frequency
18.Internet: YEH NAHI PATA KYA??? Ethernet, Telnet : ek zamane ke type of internet ( sort of)

19.MATLAB : Jaise compu ppl ke liye C/C++, waise Electronics logon ke liye MATLAB.
20.Sinc func and root () : *phew*
21.Circuit: Munnabhai ka dost

22.Power Supply:Jisse circuit chale
23.Pi day : 14th March. pi= 3.142
24.Adrenaline: jiske wajah se RK ko dekh ke sth sth happens, and for others it gives you butterflies before exams.

25.ARP: Automatic Request Protocol
26.Unicast: *ek duje ke liye*
27.Wein Bridge:--->

28.Integration and differentiation : *hayyyyy*
29.ISO-OSI: Another protocol
30.Lacrimal Glands: Tear glands

31.ATMEG32: It's a Microcontroller chip ( Now don't ask WHAT's THAT?), it's a chota but mahan chip.
chip: doesnt have to do anything with an uncle! its a big thing in a chota package like Sachin Tendulkar.

32.Resistance: wahi jo ladkiyan apne bf ke samne *resistance* wala bhaav khaate hai (usually)
33.Ohm: Unit of resistance.
34.AVR: A microcontroller software.
35. Isotrope: two elements with the same atomic no. (Go Figure!)

The Completly I post

2010-03-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

I would completely and truly agree with you if you don't wanna read this post after the boredom you've had to tolerate in the last one. My apologies. I don't do very well by pretending to be a "writer" ( hello! aren't they those funny people who keep on writing how loser like life is or how the world is a sucky place to live in and neither am I one of the few good ones who really write what one likes to read) alas!

So here I am confessing about something that I know people who don't know me wouldn't care about :)

Trust issues - Belief issues. I was never the kind who went on liking people just the way they were. I felt very less, cared even less. I remember someone once say "Oh Yes she's always very careful of her image" THAT was really long time ago, and back then that comment had made me proud.

It seems that I'd been building on that image for many many years. I didn't take people seriously, rather never paid heed to others, it was always whether I was doing the right thing , the 'correct' thing or not. And in that confusion I often overlooked what people around me were doing. Enjoying life!

People move on with time, I used to move on with friends, it's like each friend would come with an expiry date and then I'd move on irrespective if I'd 'moved' away from them or not.

I wanted to be smart, confident but most importantly perfect. This is what happens when we don't stop to notice others how imperfect and scared and normal everyone else is.. And when you don't notice others you don't know.. that a lil bit of 'normalcy' is normal enough.

Perfection doesn't exist. The most bitter way to learn about it is to lock yourself up in a house only with books. Its then that one realises how lonely one is and in spite of the fact that one lives in a colony with a 100 kids, most of whom don't recognize her.

Things became much easier when I realised what I'd been doing wrong. Off late I've also understood how important it is to do what one really likes and not being trampled by so-called notions of self-righteousness. They kind of occupy too much of memory space.

And ever since I let go, I have met the most wonderful people, they might be anybody.. the maid with two kids who makes your coffee just the way you like it, that friend you have who's herself going through a breakup but would cheer up in a mo' , that friend who pushes you to get out and get going or simple them friends who like you just the way you are :)

Btw I've been in total admiration of my brother, the only guy in this world to have the patience to teach me football, basketball and load of sports knowing very well that his didi would never probably even attempt them, its through him that I've learnt that all love needn't be superficial, that its OK if his gf sends him a "khana kha liya" sms ( totally not due to the fact that she sent gajar ka halwa for me) and that somebody can hate maths and still teach me "looping". hehe!

The simplest and jadu ka nuskha wala cheez is I don't need to change or hide any of what I already am. There is absolutely no need for any superficial image or a glass house around me because jo achhe hote hai sooner or later unke saath acha hi hota hai.

If there's one mantra that I've seriously learnt it is to start believing - in yourself coz then you wont be worried about what others think about you and start thinking that these people you like, that they and the happy times you've spent with them will be with you forever...

UPDATES

2010-03-22T12:02:00.001-07:00

When we talk about updates, it usually signifies how far we've come along since the last time we were here. Neither have I won the Nobel, nor have I completed a project and nor can I sum it up.
If only, summing things up could be that easy.

It's the same morning everyday and yet woken up from a slumber
I smile at the happy thoughts I know that I can
I can keep it in, keep up the smile, wake up from a slumber

Failures don't bug me
But stumbling has always been an option
It's like returning to what you thought once could be true

It's easy to let go even while you can hold on to all of it
Just stop thinking, feel the breeze
Let go while you can

Find a friend
But Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
It was like a barter
lose one find many

All this seems a bit dramatic
Writing like this
expressing through *poems*
Take a Bow Amrita
life ain't the great a ravine you thought it was
More like a waterfall
Swoosh and it has displaced you
A rush and you feel elated
But most of the times it's like a sanctuary
peaceful and going on

Things wont affect if you don't let them if you know what to do
To Know is a different game
coz you know but you don't feel
and in spite of not feeling right you can do whats right
Do what you want, feel what you like
Soak what you want

I wouldn't have read all this if it were by someone else
You still on?
intellectualism doesn't suit me
I prefer timetables

Those time tables we made of waking up early, hardly mattered, coz we did what we had to.
Now with time immeasurable there seems to be a need for a list not a bucket list but one to enlist.

Note to self: GET A LIFE ;) in the one i already have.
Note to readers: you Still On?? How could you go through all that? me at profoundness best :D
well maybe 2nd best.

As for updates:

1) 4th year project ki waat lagi hai

2) lost out on CAT.

3) Naukri here I come....

4) Have finally started sleeping 11 hours a day

5) SL yes, farmville: still don't get it

6) Purple doesn't always looks good esp. on KKR

7) like noor-e-khuda

8) I have finally understood the nuances of circuit shopping :D tip: take along hot girl to bargain

9)Still have a mental glitch problem when people less than 25 get married. Esp. when they were once your classmate, but as E! says "be happy for the one who's happy"

10)So not into IPL and not proud of it.

11) I miss the good ol' days of K serials where the women weren't really helpless!!

12) fir bhi main khush hu :)

*laugh a lot *

Travails of being unwillingly spoilt (child)

2010-01-23T05:15:00.001-08:00

PROLOGUE: I love my parents, no I really do and after I'm done with this post you"ll probably want them more than that DVD/Farmville you are thinking about right now.
Yes, both my folks are quite adorable *yawwwnn* , take good care of themselves *hooaayaawn* and me. They probably couldn't get any better zzzzz.......
Alas! the twain was not set to match.Sometimes I wonder if I should've been born in some other century and galti se koi mismatch ho gaya. And you must be thinking "look at the spoilt stinky brat". But ye hai mere parents ki kahani (starring your very own)
So here's how it goes:

SCENE I:
Two children are quietly, diligently studying in their room.Isn't this like every pitaji ka bachpan ka dream?
Father is seen pacing outside the room waiting for the 'dua or dawa' scene. He frantically looks inside the study-room.

Daughter (me) :(strictness personified) Dad WHAT ARE YOU DOING????
Dad : hheheeh, oh you poor kids,studying for so long. rest a little.
Daughter:It's only been 5 hours, what do you want????
Dad: errr.. I was wondering if I could play a little...
Daughter: We have our XYZ tests and you want to play your songs now???won't do certainly won't do. Go Dad watch TV.

Meanwhile Son has finished another chapter,daughter goes back to studying albeit feeling a lil guilty.

Daughter: OK OK Dad, you can play now!!! *rolls eyes* (under breath) papa bhi naa!

SCENE II : Its a Mall *yay :D* You see a mom-daughter duo having a fight.

Mom: Shut Up! Just Shut Up Don't talk like a boka(budhu)
Daughter: arree maa, that shop is giving 20%discount. isn't that kifayti???
Mom: I hate it how when you use such foul language in front of us!
Daughter: What foul language haiinn? kifayti and tikauu ar bad words now?
Mom: Yes why are you worrying about money when we are there??
Daughter: (to herself) *coz its mine too*: Oh MOM, I'm talking about fayda only naa
Mom: There she goes again with that trashy bhasha. chi!
Daughter: Don't be such a Mamta B. now.
Mom: I'd rather the one with the K . Just Buy the jeans and do the calculations later.

SCENE III: Its the much abhorred boyfriend-discussion day.

Me: Moooom!!! Don't be senti about it now.
Mom: Shut Up.Did I even ASK? why give clarifications
Me: oh,err.. okk well you know normal parents are a lil concerned about these mamlas
Mom: *raising her eyebrow* SO?
Me: heheh that means you have no problem?
Mom: about what? NO.
Me: hehhee ok then :D :D
Mom: And girly?
Me: *waiting in anticipation* yes?
Mom: You're losing touch :P :D make it better next time. itne easily mujhe gussa nahi ayega :D *hahhahahhah*
Me: awwww MOOOMMMMM, suspense me meri death hi ho gayi thi. kyaaa yaaar!!! tennu kuch farak hi nahi painda :(
Mom: Naaahh i was just wondering which crazy guy would love you hhahaa
Me: awww mooomm self confidence ki band baja ditta!!!!!!!

*scene ends with both rolling with laughter*

SCENE IV: NEW YEAR'S PARTY
Parents: Yayyyy chalo chalo dress up lets go the partyyyyy
Daughter: Ooofff not again :( :(
Parents: arre chalo chalo masti hogaaa
Daughter: But I don't know anyone :(
Dad: Always remember there's something out there.

AT THE PARTY
Me : wooooohooooo wow this is fun, hey you all I didn't you were in town :D :D

Parents (looking on) : See once she comes she enjoys :)
Mom: Yeah shell se nikalna hi only problem hai.
Dad:Yeah, she's having fun hey :)
Mom: Now that the children are busy, you think we can...?
Dad: hop on the spaceship and lets go tooooo MARS :D

*CREDITS SONG*

.....I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?......

ps : I had thought of making this post really sarcastic and witty but alas its turned into some bheegi hui matchis jaisa post :(. And maybe the last bit should've been edited!

Untitled – Why should all poems be titled?? This poem does not conform to usual standards…!!

2010-01-16T04:07:00.000-08:00

Time stops as I stand still,
The world moves around, untouched unharmed.
As If it were always meant to be that way
Things fall into pattern
Everything becomes same
Only, I'm too unobservant.

Lost in thoughts, in dreams
My eyes glaze over
Not taking anything in yet I know there's something there

I mix gold with red to see the effect
It's like painting the sun, only its a reflection in the sea.
I paint the ripples too
My words sound all wrong
They are correct but not right

I twitch a little, nothing changes
Not much unless you count the small moments
which pass by, unless you count the raindrops
ever so effervescent, not much unless you count that fellow blinking away

That feeling takes over, The one where you can see everything clearly
You know that now its so near
So near your reach. it's just beyond that corner
Yet something stops you
What is it? After all this time , it's right there
Reach out, reach out,reach out

It fades away
Blinded by the light, you search for it
It's gone but you don't want to let it go
I don't like this light, its taking the darkness
My darkness away from me.

I want it back
But the light refuses like some insolent child
I wanna slap it hard
but instead it wakes me up

From a slumber
Was there something just there?
The sun shines through,
This time its in the sky
What was that then?
Its still beyond reach

It will come back
Of that I'm sure
Enveloped in darkness it repeats itself.

/*Tagged by Sree*/

A New Blogroll and ..

2009-12-24T04:44:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I wrote and here are a few questions which contain their answers in them. See if you can find 'em.

1. Why don't we smile at people we know albeit maybe just by name?

2. I like only chocolate and coffee and no other flavor. Then why are there varied flavors.?

3. I like many pirated-copied songs, is it because they sound apna-sa?

4. Why are we so different when at home and so different when out, is it the dresses, the back-pack, the pen or simply ourselves?

5.Life goes on without stopping, halting , you might stop-and-wait but why doesn't it?

6.why is it that sleep reckons the most the night before exams and I wake up at 5 on a holiday?

7.Why did we go for that movie with our best, knowing very well that its about some cheap and her not-so-macho dude?

8. Iis time really timeless?

9. However pessimistic, practical,non-believer we might be why do we still hope for a miracle?

10. Which is the best place to holiday ? to snuggle under your blanket or something which inspires this :-
"The Pleasant Sun, the soothing wind, the relieved mind, n the company of closest friends! Loving Every Moment."

And if you've got the answers, then here is an answer the question of which need not be asked
" there's one good thing about coming here, we found good friends" .

I finally have a blogroll , do go through them(and don't expect back a comment). Each is different from the other and I like all of 'em
for none is similar to each other or any other.

way back into love

2009-11-19T22:47:00.000-08:00

"I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind"

There are things that bring peace to our hearts to our souls,
When things are in turbulence, and everything seems so objective
these are things which remain the same and bring calm

like your mom asking if you've had your medicines,
when your friend asks you if you're fine
when you know you don't have to fear em
that you can be who you are
you can laugh out loud , be stupid
without worrying

"

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night"

then there are songs, some lovely ones

which you feel like, the moment you here em

this one is one such

so simple yet so beautiful

no pretenses , no fancies

it's just a song

no burst of enthusiasm, no bubbling effervescence ,

just so calming that you feel nice

reminding that everything is normal

you were the hyper one ;)

"I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end"

like a kid

2009-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Staring at the blank screen
I don't know what to write about
I cant call it a writer's block
coz i don't fashion myself as a writer
I just dropped by to see what others do
Its no news that all I do is copy you

Munching chips,have expressed here
More than what I probably ever have

Visited a few old profiles,
All of them have changed so much
So much hep ,so much cool ,
The Best thing is that they don't even realize that

Made a few friends here
Only outlet is this W185q

I feel more like myself now
and not like living someone else's life
I know what is meant to be

I hate bella and her twilight
read the first page and could guess the story
there's not much to it
i wonder why do people feel thats love
Its like stephanie is the C.B of foreign land.

A twig broke down
it went down down and down
It hit the ground
just like prem did
the fall was hard
but it grew
it grew nice and leafy
it grew more beautiful than what it was
coz sometimes its better to get rid of what was pulling you down.

here again

2009-10-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Okay okay so obviously the one month break thing ain't working. Especially since its award-time. This one's for honesty (:)) by Sree. ab mujhe to ye milna hi tha thanx to thy pseudonym . So let’s just talk about the giver here.
Sree manages to look different in all his pics like some agent, he writes pgp (pretty good poems), and is a deewana of pink and is (hu)man enough to say so :). He most probably has also had a crush on most of his young neighbors (though that’s only a fig. of imagination), basically banda normal (read normal) hai. Thank you.

The rules are:“When accepting this mahan award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the banda/bandi who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”

Naah you don’t need to scroll down now, I hereby enlist them (jiska naam pehle hai wo sabse zyada honest hoga, aisa kuch nahi hai):-
1) James: He doesn’t write much about himself, rarely writes anything. But jab likhta hai to honesty chalakti hai .
2) Abhishek Khanna : one of the first blogs that I started reading. Jo bhi kaho , if anyone can admit to watching “Blue” film and also that he gave critical comments about it to aaj tak , to bande me honesty is like Elesh ke zuban pe English .
3) Peter: No reason needed. Cynically honest.
4) Whoever writes The Times Of Bullshit
5) Madsy : ye sweet che ,saru che . and akshara wale serial ke language me “ chokho hai” :P :P . I hate a faker girl. And thank god madsy is 1000 miles away from that.
6) Vanilla sky: Unexplainably honest (I know she’ll feel shy or like kicking me)
7) Tyro: Happy (be)elated birthday. Wishing you the second time this year.

10 honest things about me: Read the blog people!

HALCYON

2009-10-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

The similarity between first and fourth year is that everything seems new. The first year seems new coz obviously everything IS so new while the fourth year feels new coz by then everything else has changed.

nahi , this is not another nostalgia filled post though I could apply for a p.h.d in that . This is one buddhi nani's kahani about the naya generation.It was yesterday only,that we spotted 3 chicks(mind you I am against the usage of *chick*) sporting denim skirts , yes the types which end way above one's knees. Now I do not belong to the *bandh-for-voting* party but hamare zamane me ye
to nahi hua karta tha .

question 1: ladki????
question 2: ladki in skirt ?????
question 3: NA ( because ladki-in-skirt was as rare a breed as the dodo was right 2 days before its extinction)

Hamare zamane me to people used to get committed and put that up in their orkut profile , but aaj kal use terms like "complicated","open relationship", " i-have-a-partner" , "I-have-bf/gf-but-still-looking" and "i'm looking at your gf".

Even those fachhas who used to be shirt-pant types have done it. galat mat samjho , i meant daaru shaaru.

Facchas have exclusive membership to the new lounges , while we of course had to make do with the chai ki dukaan .
Fachhas have their own gaddi and apni to chuggi hi sahi .

Fachhis are size zero and we thank god are not . ;)

But ek cheez hai achhi fachhon me , *respect for seniors* . seriously i was so impressed when one of them called me a
2nd yearee.

I hope that when hamare facche reach our advanced age unhe bhi yahi feeling aaye, coz what is umr if not for the young ones.

As insipid and repetetive this post might sound , the sole reason is to teach you about a new word i learnt :
halcyon(adj.)= peaceful and happy. eg. : the halcyon days of ones happiness.

Ending this post on a more abrupt note than the previous one .
Thankee , be back after a month . have fun :)

a time long gone by

2009-09-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

No one is blogging.

I don't have much to write about either.

will be soon shifting from colony-mode to apna ghar wala mode.

will really miss diwali celebrations and football ground and basketball court even though i never played.

Once upon a time there lived a sweet family, all in coherence with each other. 'tis was a time when the word 'dysfunctional' was unheard of . The kids used to study hard and play harder. The mom used to cook dinner and make her children learn the intricacies of addittion and fractions . Every Dussehra she used to draw on the chart papers for her daughter's school project. She taught her son the art of bicycling. Winter mornings were spent making up "snow" and as evening came a big red star would be put up . Socks used to be hung in excitement about what Santa would bring. 9pm would be the time to turn in .

Then that time would come . Mom would let them miss the noon nap . And with baited breath they used to wait for him to come . Dad used to bring along crackers of all shapes, sizes and colors. 'Tis they celebrated together.

STRAIGHT

2009-08-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

Is it difficult being straight ?

When things keep on falling what do you do to keep it straight. Do you start thinking that it was because of some fault of your own that fate happened to you or do you will it to your fate, do you carry along being yourself, even knowing that your-self has metamorphosed into something different from what you were.

Are we walking injured souls, born perfect only to be mutiliated by our own inability to keep it straight, do we see each failure as our very own fault though many of them could be due to fate acompli .

What is this fear which grabs us when voicing what we think , when someone else has already voiced theirs but which is different from us?

Why don't we think straight , that the chance of each person making it on his own is mutually exclusive from someone else's?

Even the stablest of us can give way to pressure. and then how do you keep it straight?

I was in class 7 when I first read about her. Her life appalled me even then.She has been under more than 14 house arrests in the last 20 years, read about the latest in your newspaper.

I don't know how she keeps it straight, knowing that she could do more, knowing that the brilliance which even the Nobel could not ignore might be going waste. But whatever it is that keeps her going is what I call straight.

OF MOVIES AND MAGIC

2009-07-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

"All that glitters is not gold,
and all those who wander are not really lost"

Now this is one of my most favorite thoughts. Would you guess why? Because it's from the same flick which I love (the most)

So here's another part of purely Hindi movies which I have loved and adored since bachpan-dom.

IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER: (so that you can also win a radio show some day)

1. Theory : I never understood 'Maine Pyar Kiya' or " Hum Aapke Hain Kaun' , all of them were movies with just loads of songs and caps. The one movie which did make way into my puny brain was .. DDLJ ( well atleast the first half did) .

Effects on infant-ult mind : a) All women in Europe must be called Senorita.
b) Every one must buy a big bell
c) People should sing and probably dance, play footie in the rain.
d) No one should wear their shirts without half of it spilling outside.

Observation: I started writing a diary, " Today i went to school , had tiffin, studied hindi, english....."

Conclusion: " I love thy songs " :D

2. Now this one holds a special place for me and my brother.Both of us were WWF aspirants back then so.... Main Khiladi Tu Anari. We loved the dhishoom dhishoom,the songs, we loved the dance, we loved the movie.

We even tried chorusing the song :)

3. Humko Ishq Ne Maara- I'm pretty sure that none of you have heard of YRF's only television release. I don't know but I found it sweet. pertaining to the fact that was the zamana of 'Hip Hip Hurray'

4. Theory: Introduction to Friendship bands, to college, to unrequited love being fulfilled and of dances in the rain. Under this intoxicating surge many a mates set upon immediately finding theire very own rahul/anjali and some even settled for tina.

Effects on the kid-ult mind: a) " I WILL get married to my crush"
b) People knew what was friendship day and Archies opened
10 more outlets.
c) Basketball became cool. ( And my nose was smashed 15 times
since then)

Observation: Every love became college-love. Basketball became bad for health and The guy called 'Rahul' was tied 20 rakhis.

Conclusion: SRK arrived with Shahid in tow.

5. Jab We Met.

Why did I write this post? Because the next time anyone says " oohh God the same Hindi film" or " What's there in these Hindi films" I'm going to take out a morcha in front of their house and shout at them . Can any other language give you a word like 'TOTA' ? You can watch your Godfather ,Al pacino and Al Capone, run along Star Trek whatever, but apni bollywood nu insult na kariyo .

Moving on what was this Harry Potter all about?? Where was the Half Blood Prince? Great fan of the book, not the same for the movies.

Do take this as a tag "Movies which influenced me" or something of that sort. :) *Don't worry I wont kill you" :)

2009-07-21T13:51:00.001-07:00

The past week has been nice, with my training ending and finally getting time to relax. Few friends are moving to different places and I know that this trend will continue further one year down.

When more people lose contact with each other becoming mere names on your 'friend list'. Some might have already attained that status.

Some of whom were *acquaintances* have become PGF( pretty good friends) and some more will fill up the lacunae created by those who have left.

And yet as my 22nd birthday completes a month, I realise that how few are there out of the 100s we meet every year ( via some mode or the other) who manage to leave an imprint even for a few seconds.

There's no limit,boundary and differentiability test as to how and who will be your friend 'coz life in itself is too short to decide many things among which *dosti* is the trivial-est of all.

Life is too short ,
to not smirk , to hold up , to not know how to spell S-H-M-U-C-K.

Life is too short,
to not laugh out loud, to cover your mouth while laughing, to not pee when you laugh hard,
to not see Chaplin, to not act like the aunty-in-maxi asking if her daughter has a bf.

Life is too short ,
to not make friends, to think that anybody other than your own demons could harm you,
to be judgmental, to hate others because they use wrong grammer-diction-language,
to waste hailing Rakhi sawant.

Life is too short ,
to not take a *dare* , to not say the *truth*
when the only judge is a bottle spinning on a table-top,

Life is too short ,

to not say " i looove french fries", to be superstitious,
to not take your favourite pen for exams , to not wear your favourite shirt on all 5 days of the exam,
to not try *bubble boom*.

Life is too short ,
to envy those who have found love ,many times over :P ,
to not gossip thinking that it would be *politically incorrect * shmuck you are no bahuguna,
to not try to set up every friend with every one else :P, to not set morals for others who have things and beings we don't

Life is too short ,
to not try to bhangra, to not sing in front of seniors,
to think that *good girls should not drink*, i don't but thats another story already related,
to not whistle and then have a dog chase you , *his master's voice* did yo sayy?

Life is too short ,
to be too moralistic, to never bunk a class,
to think that we can only be bella and not edward, to not be proud of yourself, to not have contrasting thoughts.

Life is too short ,
to not feel sad listening to sad songs,
to not dance to and sing *dhik chik dhik chik* , to not wake up at 3am wanting to write a post,
to not call friends at 12am for their happpppyyy birthdays .

Life is too short ,
to think that the world is bad, that things might go bad, that being negative might save you from the blunders the world commits,
to not watch the first day-first show of *Kidnap*,
to repress emotions,
to not cry when Rahul leaves Anjali.

Life is too short ,
to be moralistic and preachy, to not collect donation for old age homes, to be out of touch with your inner self,
to listen to mumbo-jumbo,
to not enjoy life whichever way that be unless illegal , to not have life, to not have vitae, to not be a bourne,

to not plan, to not fall, to not get up , to not set things right,
to not tell yourself that everything will be perfect just the way you like it
and that your friends will be with you no matter what and where ever they go.

YOU KNOW.....

2009-07-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

You know that you are tired and and have nothing left in that cranium hole .

When

YOU NEED JUST ONE OFF DAY

When

YOU WANT TO WATCH JUST ONE CRAPPY MOVIE
and can't even do that :(

When

YOU HAVE TO DO WITH A QUICKIE
so what if that guy smells better than you (what are deos for? except for the cancer causing agents that they are ... )

When

KAMBHAKHT SWAYAMVAR
And that's only time you get to view ze television
(I didn't what HER picture in my blog)

When

YOU CAN'T EVEN FIND THE SCHEDULE TO WATCH HARRY POTTER & H.B PRINCE ON 16TH

When

YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING SUBSTANTIAL AND FILL YOUR BLOG WITH CRAP.

Butt, hey naysayers , I have done something worthwhile and that too on an exam day.

so it seems silly to put up these pics , parantu thats the best I could do. :)
tata.

desi love stories me hamesha ladki ka hi naam pehle aata hai

2009-06-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

YESTRERDAY:

you know I have been wondering what happened to those music videos with a story wale gaane.

Remember ankhon me tera hi chehra "Raise your hand if you remember the doggy"
Sonu nigam's getting lost in the island songs,
Asha Bhosle's twin sister wala song
Falguni pathak's bangle wala song

Ok OK I might be behaving like my dadi -" hamare zamane ki to baat hi alag thi"

But all that I get to hear now is " Are we humans or are we dancers?" Bhaion iska matbal ki hai?

Then again there's this big hullabaloo about Archie The Great ki Shadi , main keya " Tennu ki farak painda? " Ab usko veronikka pasand hai to hum kya kare ? waise for betty lovers lesson learnt : Bhaav khana chahiye

Also bloggers are really nice people , I mean all of us have great camaraderie.Is it always true ? Maybe the world feels fake when we become falsified.
Agar hum real life me bhi blog world jaise behave karte then would life be more pleasant? On second thoughts , fir hum blogs me kya likhte?

And quite a few of them have also thought me capable of award shward, even though most of the time rotten tomatoes should be thrown at me ( am saying it in a matter of fact way and not an attention seeking way ! ).

But will acknowledge them now :)

1.I like this girl and her blog truly rocks, best thing is she's not gawar or stupid or even pretentious -MADS.

and these were awarded by her so *taliyan* :D

2. Ki - the girl who can spin marvels with her 55wand gave me this :)-

3. This one was a long time back by Karthik:

Shit I've lost his URL, thanx anyway :)

TODAY:

Had the rollicking time of a life.When 6 girls get together you can't expect anything less.

Yes,now even I can claim and thereafter bitch about a friend getting married.

Showed my hand to a jyotish (it was 20/-) and 'mere life ka sankat wala saal duur ho chuka hai"So i guess that's good , even though he predicted exactly the same for my 5 friends as well. Those who know my birthday can laugh because supposedly I"ll get married by 22.

Also bought a Father's day gift for papa (otherwise he'd be jealous of mom :P )

Am off for a holiday tomorrow, and I"ll be back by Friday :D.

-have fun

That 1st

2009-06-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

That Yellow and Blue Salwar kameez
The tangling of chunni
Fear of ragging, of kajra re and mujhse shadi karogi,
Fear of canteen
Getting lost in college.

Being friendly
Coming out of the shell,
Those dosas and samosas
Signing up on orkut

Blaring your heart out in front of seniors
And then being told “ab bas”
Those first steps in the canteen
Feeling more cautious than ever,

Studying all the same
Finding life and vigour within you
Being what you truly wanted to be

Letching at the mod gals
Dubai wali, U.S. wali,
Looking at the tall lasses with awe
And then saying “ model shodel, ekhane keno elo”

Kalle kalle movie dekhna
Being enamored by Dhoom2
Dreaming of heroes
Holding first crushes close to heart “no I won’t tell”

Gave the first exam
As honestly as one could
Then passing out and
Thinking one down.

Moving on to the last lap,
And thinking …..
……….
Only one left?
seems like yesterday …

That Blue’n’Yellow Salwaar kameez.

ILLUSIONS

2009-05-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

Since all I have had to dream for the last week is FIR ,IIR,UTP,SCTP,HDLC,FAYOL, CONVERTORS AND INVERTERS.(yes exams are a knocking).

And I'm very bad at writing whatever I will attempt to now.

here's to wishful thinking.

"Mere Khwaabon Mein Jo Aaye
aake Mujhe Chhed Jaaye
mere Khwaabon Mein Jo Aaye
aake Mujhe Chhed Jaaye
us Se Kahoon Kabhi Saamne To Aaye"

ps- hey changed the pic of mayank , he looked like some champu in the older one. :)

parai

2009-05-21T19:38:00.001-07:00

4:00 am

"Oh! It's already time , must get up .Don't feel like sleeping anyway"

"Hmm will come out after 10am , why did I have to get up so early"

"chal lets finish my painting"

I scribbled a lot for sometime though nothing with clear definitions , there was something else...

6:00 am

"Hmmm lets have a cup of coffee , on second thoughts , mum will kill me ! "

Mum , yeah and Dad , how nice they've been , we've gone out . But I know what the poor souls have been thinking .. stupid suicide stories. I'm not like that!!!.

Mum says History and Civics were her favorite. I know what she's pointing to . But I hate S.S.T..
:) and Dad says ''bhabish na"

9:00 am

Ronnnnyyyyyyyyyy the new radio stations have started , listen to this Radio Mirchi . It's cool na? Now we"ll never buy any cassettes .

10:30 am

" It's Meenakshi's call , take it "
" oi result out ho gaya , apna roll no. bata"

" 563**9#"

" OIIIIIii CONGRTAS 86.2% , abbe tuhe science me 92 mila "
" Chal chal baki marks likh le "

The C.B.S.E results will be out today , and its a deja-vu . It's like I can clearly remember what a certain 14 year old was going through 8 years back . You know times change , but this feeling is what binds students. However much psychiatrists and parents say that these results do not matter,that LIFE is beyond the boards.

Every student knows what it feels like to be in waiting .
Waiting for something which decides their future , which decides what they"ll be ,which decides if they can finally go out and have some fun .

A word for those who"ll be getting their results today : congrats, you did it. :)

and for those of you who did'nt, you know what to do. Just follow the example of the girl who failed once but never gave up.

TO BLOGGERs : oi yesterday was vanilla sky's birthday ( she"ll kill me for sure now) & don't wish her on my blog.

6-ENDED

2009-05-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

I am such a bragger .

1. 06^2= 036 =(1*0) (1*2+1) 6
2. 16^2=256 =(2*1) (2*2+1) 6
3. 26^2=676 =(3*2) (3*2+1) 6
4. 36^2=1296 =(4*3) (4*2+1) 6

... and so on.

:D :D I discovered the above(by myself) yesterday , if you've understood do let me know :)

now my head is reeling.

why didn't anyone make a movie called 'parai ke side effects'

my non blog mates say they don't understand what i write !

I wanna write 55 fiction too.

The lack of ideas prevents that.

Can anyone send me a smiley directory or something? i know only the ones orkut provides.

MOM said :

hey today , there was a man , he kept on reading a book all the while he was cycling.
me: (agape) WOW ! but that's dangerous!!

MOM: Ooo what did u think? I meant the exercycle!!!!.

that was not 55 fiction , it was wait lemme count , its 34 reality :)

wait am feeling drowsy again , numbers ghoom rahe hai sar me .

-for deluded.

Itna SENTI kyun ?

2009-05-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hey God ? Wassup ? Temme one thing , sab ajkal inne senti kyu ?

My VLSI ( yes the same VLSI ) SIR got married . And tab se unka mann nahi lagta class me ,
Pmos-Nmos complex circuit diagrams-everything he makes with a silent smile . lagta hai sir ko loove ho gaya. Bechare class ke bahar bhi jhankte hai & by god ajkal BUNK bhi karte hai.
Syllabus has become secondary to him.
So when exasperation caught up with me and I shouted " YEEEE kyaa hua SIR , where's your responsiblity??? "

to sab bole " chill yaar , achha hi to hai , inna senti kyu ?? "

When someone my age gets married , I roll my irises to their farthest horizon. So topic being discussed at ghar , my bro speaks up : " yaar she married a 25 year guy , karta kya hai banda"
papa bole " buisnessman"
bro bola " aaila ! 25 me kaisa buisnessman??? "
me boli" arre hoga koi 8th fail , baitha jo apne daddyji ki dukaan pe"
mummy ko aya gussa and boli" Why do you underestimate people ?? this is one bad habit you gotta curb or else.... everything will be doomed"

dinner table ka mood hua sombre and then mom said " after all 10th fail bhi ho sakta hai"
main bolun "MOM innaa senti kyu ??" :P

Jab boyfriend se ho pareshan aur burai kare wo , but hum jab kare burai wo lete unhi ki side , man mera kahe "inna senti kyu" jab wapas jana hai usi ke paas. "jaise duur des ke tower me ghus jaye aeroplane, jaise sareaam pakistan se samjhauta kare uncle sam "

Kyu ho jaate hai senti jab apni baat aye to , but dusro ko bole "inna senti kyu"
Kisi ne kaha " Aditi raat ke baad hi to savera hota hai " but main bolti , senti mat mar yaar le le tu bhi naya kitten!

Jab lade log life (blogs) me aur fir likhe lambe chaude mafinaama poems , main bolun "inna senti kyu " zindagi aur bhi hai , blogs aur bhi , ye nahi to aur sahi , life hai jaise vanilla sky ,lifes like that , life's beyond obvious , life's shit for tat , life has vibes , life hai ek scratch pad , life's joidevivre , thodi sunshine thoda chilled ,thoda hai isme razzmatazz jaise mad(huri) ki koi movie. Get on your furobike and surge ahead.

Par ab lag raha hai mennu dar ,ho na jay gussa log!!!But all that I can try is to be truthful , Then wish me too "inna senti kyu" :)

ding dong baby sing a song :)

2009-04-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

It seems like eons since I've felt like myself. Truth be told last year sucked , in every possible way. And THANK GOD that i kept my promise of making this a better year.

So here' a tag ( yeah again) , tagged by JAMES.

lets see what I do to this one

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it

scarred thoughts ,
scarred beings ,
outer scars shame us ,
inner scars scare us.

Cant' count the numerous times have fallen
Scraped my knees and elbows
Brushed and got up again
After all locomotion is what I had to learn !

2. What does your phone look like ?

And I'm stuck at the sight of you .

yup got one day before yesterday :D. Its a Nokia 5310 .

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Cemented plasters, memories -taken long ago , a lil light , maybe a lizard or a roach , naah it's all pretty clean.

blank walls , blank paintings , blank pages . So many blanks and all the thoughts there , right there in those few pounds of cranium cavity .

4.What is your current desktop picture?

Blah nothing cool. :)

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

I guess I"ll throw a fit if anyone stops me from doing anything that I want. So who am I to judge what others should do or not !

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

letting my hair loose ,
playing in the breeze,
the playground beckons me .

losing myself in imagination,
not worrying about any schedule,
watching movies this whole noon.

the heart yearns not when its happy ,
the heart's in bliss when it feels itself .

7. Are your parents still together?

touche'

8. Last person who made you cry

"So when I hear you calling my name,
I'll know the good I've done
I guess that's why it's raining diamonds, sweet happiness in tears
Crying heaven shed your diamonds,
diamonds for tears" ( poets of the fall )

9. What is your favorite perfume/cologne ?

NONE

10. What are you listening to?

Since I'm in such a poetic mood , its 1973 by James Blunt.

" I would call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"

Simona
Wish I was sober
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone...."

11. Do you get scared of the dark?

The black heart,
Scarier than the dark night
Is it your or mine ?
whatever ,whoever , whyever
are we like this?

12. Do you like pain killers?

SHUT UP

13. Are you too shy to ask someone out ?

pagalpanti

14. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

pooh! nothing ,just had my lunch.

15. Who was the last person who made you mad?

Believe it I'm the sanest person ever !!!!!

16. Who was the last person who made you smile?

Jude Law

17. Is someone in love with you ?

And finally we have arrived at 'that' portion of the tag.

ans : NA

BEING A CIVILIAN

2009-04-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Since Rakhi Sawant's swayamvar has already been written about , I'm republishing one of my first posts . ( nahi nahi main comments ki pyasi nahi hoon :P )

This post is free from any inhibitions and 'for the bloggers' typecasting . (only the typos have been corrected :) )

Some time back , I was silenced when I was a view different from the pity or rather the charity like words voiced for Army men and their families. Solidarity and Unity is different from pity. So here it is ....

To start with , being an army kid you learn almost everything about life by 19 ( i.e. how to face people , what 2 say when & what not to say , what to say jisse fayda ho , all etiquettes & ya all that ) but what you don't learn , is that , how to mingle with the 'non -army ' people .
the trick that most of us learn is to charm our way through people , lets see whether that helped me in my life or not.

Lemme start with the small things - while growing up we never really stayed in Kolkata for long , just for the summer holidays which would b divided between dida bari & thakumar bari , & ya visits to & from relatives would be inevitable ."INEVITABLE " because at that time we didn't like them , not the relatives of course kinda nice, but me & my brother couldn't really understand the language ( I mean yaaa we did speak it at home but only because of ma - thank god ki she taught us some Bangla , me & my bro never speak in Bangla , nor do we do that with papa )

Especially when people speak it so fast , also the culture would be so different , Durga Puja meant a 10 day ka hols for us but we came to talk about it as dussehra , funny it seemed then that people didn't know what it was to ' close ' their plates , that some laughed and said " ohh maaa" wen we wished " good morning aunty " .

If someone else asked us " Hey are you from Calcutta?" , We would be quick to reply " Yes we are , but we don't know Bengali " , It was only later on did I realize that that every Army bachha does that , doesn't matter from which part he / she is 4rm " all they say is - yes we r from there , but we don't know the language"

So why is it so ?? Why are we so uncomfortable when we visit our own relatives? I think its because deep down its embedded in us that we are some how different from the 'civilians" . I was going through life like this when we got posted to Kolkata.

Now I like to think that since we lived in so many places we didn't liked to be just a bengalis (btw i detest the term 'BONGS') rather an Indian .(So full of desh bhakt haina :) )

After coming here we made many Bengali friends ( yes they were civilians) & you know what slowly we realized "Hey they are not bad or anything"
Actually the thing is when you don't understand a language , people are not always kind enough two translate , that's when you think that perhaps they are making fun of you .

By now I had many friends here , & had slowly started to resent the feeling the difference between .

There is this thing in army circles - you are either a MAY QUEEN ( a beauty pageant which takes place every May) girl or you ain't . I belong to the latter , & thankfully I had many civilian friends who neither knew about such a thing nor asked silly questions , THANK GOD

Its been about 8 years since we've shifted to Kolkata & it finally feels like home . I mean abhi bhi lagta hai " hey 8 years se no posting , can u imagine that??"

I by state buses & not 3tons or jeeps or jongas anymore ,nothings more yummy than phuchka. I've learnt loads of Bangla , thanks to college people ( saheli ) , but Hindi still remains my language .

I have also learnt that, to many people my background doesn't matter , that all I need is to be happy with the way my friends are . Well there are some people who ask me" hey Amrita ,AK - 47 dekhechish?? kabhi chalaya hai" or just " arre colonel ki beti "

But you know what, all I can do is smile coz I'm just as proud of what my dad does as anybody would feel about their dad . & for those who don't know , an Officer is not really allowed to take home AK 47 and show it to his kids ;) , nor do they really talk about what they all have to do in Kashmir or any such area .

Give or take now atleast I am fluent in 3 languages and will never say " bubbbaa the chair is sssoo heabby"

SO i guess now I'm an Army-Civilian gal & referring to the May Queen thing . a friend recently said " hey Amrita , army girls are supposed to b the sexy cutey types , you are not , but your intellect is maha attractive" .

:D :D

ps : Oh! I'm gonna miss Poulami

IF ONLY....

2009-04-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you like it or not,
I don't care if you don't like its smell,
is it P's Hut or Dominoes for you , or maybe Giovannis
I like Dominoes best ,
they say the simplest one is the best
so cheese pepperoni it is
does this some kinda weird poem ??
well then just imagine this :::::>>>>>

Some find it sick coz its hard to imagine a harder way to die of cholesterol
but I'd rather die of pleasure ;). "it felt so right , it felt so wrong " :)

Naaah I don't like jalapenos nor do i love oregano , just give me the plain ol' pizza and that"ll make my day

Will it be too prudent if i ask Chidambaram to declare that 'em to be a financial right .
a right which won't burn a hole too deep in my pocket ?

"can you , can you sir do it?"

If for obvious reasons you find this post silly blame it on her oh soryy her arre yaar ye kya ho raha hai ?? bohot din se khane ka mann kar raha hai *sigh* ......

ok ok with all thanx to her ( shit presentation ki aadat nahi gayi )

ps : Quote of the week : " bubaaaa itnaaa hawaa tha mujhe laga mera makeup hi ud jaaigaa" - guess who ?? :P :D :D

CONVERSATIONS :)

2009-03-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

ON THE INTERPHONE

me: oiiiii you guys sunaa????

Shippy : kya kya ??? did he finally marry her

meenu: chup kar !!! amrita bol bol , did she get married to someone else ?? bol naaaaaaaaa

me: arre yaar , the dulha was late !!! and then there was loads of confusion , and then he didn't know what to dooooo

Shippy:he bhagwaaan , ye log bhi naaaaaa !!! fir fir???

me: arre fir kya , he came nearer to her and with a most defiant look ........ DHISH DHISH

Shippy & meenu (in chorus ) : Kyyaaaaaaaaaa huaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!

me : arrreeeeee he put sindooooooor on her forehead

*after a prolonged silence*

meenu : *in her characteristic tone* A-----jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb.

I was a part of this converstaion about 7 years ago . Most of the enourmous-ly lenthy K shows are ending and this one is solely dedicated to them , which provided fodder for many a such meaningless conversations :)

**************************************************************************************

COMPLICATED

E: hey you know , u and ani are so alike !!

me: Isn't he supposed to be in IIT ?, wow i have something in common with mahaan person eh?

E : haaaaaan , see both of you are in ECE , right ?

me : yaaaa , and so are millions of students !

E : arre but he did a special course on something.

me: Oh what ?

E : Arre it was called " THE COMPLICATED CIRCUITS PROJECT"

me : * completly zapped & trying to think what all courses do IIT ians have to do with such a name * U mean to say the project was actually called "complicated circuits " ??

E: nahi nahi it was something like " VLSI" , but the full form sounded so complicated that I decided to name it like that !

This one defined sweetness and simplicity for me . In fact it reminds me , that all the things that some of us might think of as 'very important' are downright silly for others :)

*******************************************************************************************

SUPERMAN

" It's a bird , no it's an angel , no it's superman "

" NO NO it's the statue of liberty !! "

;) with complete reference to Deb , the only guy with courage and coolness enough to stand on top of a rickshaw -van .

This was one of the van-incidents that I"ll never forget , and was the time when I didn't know who this Superman was . :)

*************************************************************************************

Rise up,

Don't falling down again

Rise up,

Love like I broke the chains

I tried to fly a while so high

Direction: sky! I tried to fly a while so high Direction: sky!

My dream is to fly

Over the rainbow, so high!

My dream is to fly

Over the rainbow, so high!

My dream is to fly

Over the rainbow, so high!

My dream is to fly

Over the rainbow, so high!

Someone who hates his/her nickname : "Eh..video dekha iska ? ( actually ye gana tere taste se kuch jada hi achcha hai :p)"

ps- don't kill me.

********************************************************************************************

It's fun how most meaningless things stay forever and mean so much :)

And here writes Amrita .........

2009-03-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

And then I thought what if I die , now , sitting here just like that. Would people miss me , or would they bear it with a smile and all the same feel sad too .
Quite selfishly , images of mum crying and my friends from far and near missing me and secretly thinking of me before sleeping at night came to my mind . Even went to the extent of thinking that some of my blogger buddies might write posts for me-: " And Here Wrote Amrita...."

And that's when I knew ..... I didn't want to die at all :) :)

HAPPY HOLI :)

shadi-functions ityadi

2009-03-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

Some weddings are good , others become good , while the rest are the ones I have to attend.

Question 1: Beta what are you studying ?
Jee aunty wo to nahi pata , par log ____ college kende hai

Quetion 2:Ha to beta kaunsa stream hai ?

me: (looking up down ) ECE , side se Mom : " thats Electronics and Instrumentation"
me: MOM !!!

*tinkling laughter follows*

The voice of my heart goes like this " yaaarr kya gaana play kar rahe , and can't even do my dance here . Aunty x is checking out everyone and anyone with gold , uncle Y gone talli "

Bride : ( mind me ) Yaar , isse better to Karan tha ( haii ) , gadha kitna hans raha hai . lottery lag gayi iski

Groom : ( wearing the biggest smile ) Hehehehehehehe

me : kaash yaha dev d hota and drunk hoke nachta (sigh , sigh)

Random pink aunty : Oiiii why have you become sooo thin , jao jao khana khalloooo . haiii bechari kitna travel karti haiiii .

me : not as much as hanuman ji

Various scenes : drunk uncle eyeing young somethings wearing offshoulders. People remembering their cannibalistic instincts and eating all that they can lay their hands on.
Gelled hair guys staring at gals and wo sab.Lovey dovey couples looking and doing all that .

Finally jo saalo se hota aaya hai wo ho jata , another couple bites the dust ( married couples , plz don't bite me) .

Me : mummmy i wanna go hoommeeee

Mom : chup kar , just leaving

me : Papaaaaaaaaaaaa

I return home more bored than the last time , lack of companions for this one night of glory and boring food . .......

I come back , Watch TV and feel blessed .:)

quarter century

2009-02-23T18:25:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Amrita :) Had been thinking about it ever since

Here go the rules -
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

I think this is the 5th or 6th one that I am doing .
anyway read this if completely bored .

1. I don't have any problem with any food , can eat almost anything (except brinjal)

2. The first type of dance that I ever learnt to do was the *twist* :courtesy mom :).

3. Me and Tv have been friends for a long time , apparently the first appliance i could switch on was this . I miss oldie goldie shows like 'hip hip hurray' , 'remix' ,'hum panch even the old k serials used to be good . Remember Roadies 1 , Indian idol 1 and Viva?

4. From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai to Kank , i like K-jo movies . However much I trash and bitch about 'em , I've forever enjoyed his movies . So here's to you Johar ,gay or not.

5. I don't have a clue about any card games .

6. I wanna quit orkut.

7. I've never had a real crush , not even on ranbir or imran . I just find them nice .*sigh* As they say "Ishq nahi Ishq ka fitoor hai ."

8.I think i like to read people's minds.

9.I have tried a lil bit of daaru , from daddy's glass . And bachha log mazaa is much better.

10.I have absolutely no idea what to do when people do the 'maa behen ' galis .

11.I'm a ponytail person , I might leave it open for some time , but ponytail is the thing for me.

12.I feel and look very un-amritaish without my glasses . Sometimes while sleeping I feel there is something missing.

13 . As a kid i used to be scared of Bajrang Bali and Santa Claus.

14.The thing 'mard ko dard nahi hota' is ingrained in me .

15.Has anyone seen Socha Na tha? :)

16.I am neither a funny person nor an intelligent one . I just happen to have very keen ears and do the 'heard here repeat there ' act . :P :D

17.I believe in the inner good . *thats soo dumbledore*

18.Oh I'm getting bored now.

19.When some random person calls and asks " hellooo betaaaa , do u knoww whooooo I aaam"
I say " NO "

20 . I wanna top . once in my life ( silly na )

21.I make better coffee/cold coffee than most cafes.

22. I hate fat aunties in pink saris with pink lipstick smeared on their teeth who scrutinize thin children . Remove them and half the society evils will be done away with .

23. I hate the bandh system and the " we demand our rights without doing any work " attitude.

24. I want to go to Europe travel by Euro rail and find a cute unsuspecting guy or better be a hi fi professional , go to Australia and find a nice MBA wala taxi driver :D :D :D

25. I think and talk too much about moi self.

And now for passing on this tag . don't worry no pressures :)
Vanilla sky ( tui ki already korechis ?)
Tyro ( coz' u've stopped blogging)
Resurgence ('coz u never do any tags )
Peter (How u doin ? :P )
Mads( have u already done this one ? )
Tara(coz' u'v already done this )
Keshi( i know you are bored of tags heheh)
Abhishek K. (since you too never do tags )
Dewdrop(she's sweet :) )
Sree(have u done this one?)
SAM
James

and any one who wants to do it : P :D :S

ps= slumdog has flooded the oscars for being the great movie. I had thought otherwise . But I like Rahman ( who doesnt )

sounds like mahi ve

2009-02-17T08:26:00.000-08:00

man to karta hai bohot kuch likhu
v day aya aur gaya si , kaiyon ne kai kuch likha
man mera bhi kare
par pata na ki likhu

ajkal man happy happy lagda ve
results hai door , kya ye karan ve ?
na punjabi na poetry mennu aati ve
na jane fir bhi kyu man kare
ki bohot kuch likhu re .

of self belief

2009-02-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

How did he get more than me ?
Why did she say so about me? Am I that bad?
If they don't talk to me why should I make the effort.

This are some of the questions which have often haunted me . Worrying sick , why something happened the way it has and not in the way I wanted to. Finally , drawing to a conclusion that ok I won't do that next time.

We have been having some G.D sessions in our college and they have sort of made me realise about one important factor - confidence. There was this guy in our group , despite not having a very starry grade card like the rest of us , he was the best speaker . His intonations and pronunciations weren't correct , but what made us listen to him was the supreme self belief that he spoke with .

Steve Jobs (the Apple maverick ) went with his conviction despite the setbacks that he forever faced in life.

Anil Kumble, suffering from a fractured jaw, came on to bowl with his head strapped heavily in bandages and claimed the wicket of Brian Lara .

SRK made it big , and real big despite being from a (sugar)daddyless family .One of his phrases which i loved in a recent show was " Sports teach you how to lose and how not be a loser".

M C Mary Kom's four World Championship titles don't just make her a champion , but also puts the case of Women's boxing to be included in the 2012 London Olympics . ( If u don't know about her , plz do a google search . She's Indian )

There are so many examples that show us to rise above , to keep a sane head , to have the belief on oneself .

When nothing helps and all you can keep thinking about is " Why did God do this to me? "
Remember God doesn't have choices like us . For us there is always a right / wrong / midway path . But , remember we belivers think that God is always right so (s)he doesnt have the choice to right or wrong , all (s)he can do is click on the right option .So somewhere down the road , if something "bad" does happen to us , we can always put the blame on him , saying " bhagwaan jo karta hai acche ke liye hi karta hai " :)

It's easier said than done , when going through a trauma or a bad time , none of the " How you can increase your confidence " books help . Your thoughts seem to be in deep regression and nothing seems to be real . All that we can do then is try to keep believing , believing that some day something good will happen . Hindi films do help during this time . And however cliched and superficial it might sound right now but 'hamari filmon ki tarah end tak life me bhi sab theek ho jata hai" . provided that you keep the hope alive.

Getting in touch with your inner self , blocking out the thoughts of your minds might take some trials . Agreed that we do learn a lot from our failures , but it's not very constructive to keep pondering about them , remembering our successes ( however small ) has a more positive effect.

Someone once said to me "its good to try out things otherwise how on earth will you gauge the virtue or vice of something . I too try to impersonate someone , its good to inculcate the virtues in other" . Seeing the virtues in others , and trying to imbibe them . :)

All negativity cannot be trashed and being all positive doesn't always help . But that's where again your self confidence comes in . I believe that someday my methods will be answered too. :)

***********************************************************************************************************************

Some lesser things on my mind :
do find the time to read this --->"http://newsservice.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html"

this post however doesn't encourage valentine day goons to either spoil the fun or make indecent proposals .

"there are no heroes , only men " * smiling at this comment *

Finally a simple explanation of my "about me" :
"not the kind , who takes life seriously, who wants to make it big , who has faith in people, who hates being practical, who hates love(the mushy kind), who hates teddies & roses, The above traits don't describe me , they never will , they never can.In fact I'm exactly what the first few lines are but only if u omit the first one"

So when you omit the first one , the about me is :

"who takes life seriously, who wants to make it big , who has faith in people, who hates being practical, who hates love(the mushy kind), who hates teddies & roses.
I hope you got that now :) "

life ke funde- fir se

2009-02-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

A void is defined as an empty space.

A human does all that he can do to fill these voids in his life. If there were no voids , life would've been cluttered.

1) For all who read tis blog , know well zat I can be hardly be classified under the header 'writer'. I write when I have a void to fill. The last two posts which were immature , childish , bimbette like were all done by me.(guilty as charged :) )

2) Sometimes there comes a time , when you feel complete within yourself. It's that time when you don't need anyone else , when what others say truly doesn't matter . Its when you are neither elated nor depressed all you feel is the real person ,who for sometime might've got lost .

3)There's thing called "being honest with yourself" . I think it means the same as "being yourself". Being what you feel like at the moment. There's no point in trying to reachieve things/emotions long gone by.

4) There's no need to call friends - "friends" . it's mutual after all. Just like IITians don't need to be scoffed at or raised to a high bar , only coz' they did something we couldn't do ( I don't know from where I have come with this sudden empathy for them !! )

5) I like

Masakalli :

Tujhe kya gum /What sadness do you have ye ?
tera ristha Gagan ki basuri se hai / the lore of the sky
Pawan ki guftagu se hai / the whispers of this wind , the golden sun are all yours.
Suraj ki roshani se hai /

Udiyo na dariyo / fly ,don't fear
Kar manmani manmaani manmanni / do whateva u wanna
Badhiyo naa mudiyon kar nadani / go on and be the kid u've always been .

Rehna tu:

Haath tham chalna hi
To dono ke daye haath sang kaise ./// couldn't really do the translation :)
Haath tham chalna hi
To dono ke daye haath sang kaise

Ek daaya hoga ek baaiya hoga
Tham le haath yeh thaam le
Chalna hai sang tham le

6)Now for some irony. We"ll be having "preparation for campussing" classes in a few days , but no one knows whether any naukri providers will stop by !!! hahhahaah. And in case they don't , I'm good in maths and can run when there's a need to. ( ARE YOU LISTENING future maalik / maalkins ?? )

7) Am seriously quite impressed by the many blogger awards doing the rounds ajkal . esp. by the one ( Sam & karthik ) who awarded me . I was like " hainn main hehhe" . thanx guys :)
however unworthy I am ( though a lil more than celina jaitely :) ). By the way how many of you have understood my *about me * ??? ( just curiosity :) )

8) stay hungry , stay foolish

THE 15 DAY THEORY

2009-01-21T23:30:00.001-08:00

How to get a guy in 15 days ...and then if you have some spare time to lose him. Before reading this the reader must completly believe that this post is made on the superficial observances made by the blogger ( who currently maintains a S.A.D status)

DAY 1. SMILE AND SMILE AND SMILE . But never look at the ONE ,always look at your friend . And as an ending to the prolonged SMILE ,GIGGLE , you may take tuitions from * The Aishwarya Institute of How to smile and show off your expensive dentures *
DAY 2. Be sure that one of his friend has your number , and to make sure that HE has it , by saying it loud in front of someone ( yes the simple process of missed call does not exist)

DAY 3. Clothes ---- nothing flashy . a simple salwaar kameez (a white one will just be fine :P ). Indian guys= indian clothes , open hair (remember to take comb for bushier hair) , long earrings, lip gloss (the invisible types ) ,kohl /kaajal (a must) . ( God save you if you are a chashmish , no entry for my behenas )

DAY 4. After years and years of observation I truly know why girls go all " shooo cuuuuuuteee ,, oh maaa, baaabbyyyy" when they see a retarted piece of teddy bear / real infant. Elementry Watson, they don't give a shit about babies and stuff, they are actually mollycodlling the ONE in question ( &also maintaing the garb of secrecy)

DAY 5. Display of intellectuallism should be limited to *good handwriting* .

DAY6. Give him those lost lamb looks , like *what I would do without you*

DAY 7. If HE is still not thinking about you , then this will. Choose the most ugliest / nonsensical/ poor fella you know . And when the poor demented soul approaches , move one step closer to the ONE and tattataaaaaaaaa say " I don't feel safe when he's there yaar " ( yes all of them have a fantasy ofplaying "knight in shining armour " . Never mind the demented guy, he's going to make millions in the future and marry someone like marlyn monroe.

DAY 8 . Do the hair thing . C'mon gals , I shouldn't be explaining this to you!!!!

DAY 9. now you need a confidante . plan / spread a rumour about going to the nearest hangout after work /college/watever . The confidante will limit the spread of the rumour only to the ONE. & hence you"ll be alooooneeeeee.

Day 10. The guy still doesnt like you ??? God must be blind /gay/ has a g.f/ is seriously not interested / is the demented guy.

SINCE I DON'T KNOW OF ANY OTHER WAYS , YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND LOSE THE MORON IN THE NEXT 5 DAYS

DAY11 Behave normally ( dont laugh like the idiot you've been for the last 10 days ) DAY12 wear jeans . tees , in short watever you want to. DAY13 Top your studies , (most guys think thats arrogancy ) DAY14 talk to all and sundry . DAY15 .Make him your friend ( and i mean a friend. not like bollywood movies where they go on mouthing inane dialogues like " dosti me no sorry no thankyou " to kya main kisi anjaan se sorry bolun???? )
believe that you are the best ,'coz in case some of you thought that may be the first 10 days would help . well they don't . no one and especially you don't deserve the fake you. keep on playing that taa- taaa-ta-taa taaa ( bachna aee haseenoooo .. ) in your head . :) Yeah Yeah I know , I know I"ll get brickbats , eggs , Harman B. thrown at zis post. "hey gal , all guys are not that dumb" , " but i really like teddy bears ...." etc etc.

I KNOW , so lay off and enjoy :) watever that you're doing , no one's judging you . ( well except maybe the 10000's you already know :P )

And now for the dedications :-

> Saheli aka Vanilla sky for the title.

> also inspired from Abhishek Khanna's post about *How to talk to girls in a wedding *

> All the guy roadies from Roadies 6.0 . especially for that inhuman task last week . Serioulsy what the hell has happened to that show?? That task was crass and cheap in every virtue , If raghu is so gung ho about woman's rights what about some for men eh??

> to keshi . I think I wanted to write like her ( but somewhat failed , after all we are individuals eh ? :))

> This post is with complete respect to those who questioned and wondered "how I managed to Use 1000 people without ever breaking their hearts" .
i hate typecasting people and putting them into groups . humans use humans , its in our genes , for small or big needs , people do flash smiles . But breaking a heart needs something more than that . you need to have someone's heart for that. And this post is intended to all those who tend to give it away -- be the better judge :)

> I Know I'm going from bad to worse in my posts . Don't take the first 10 days seriously :) . truly dedicated to sarcasm.

THE COLOURFUL +DRIVING LICENCE TAG

2009-01-17T01:24:00.000-08:00

Hometown: hmmmm home is where your heart is .
Hair Colour: Black +brown
Shoe Size: one size more than my mum's
Righty or Lefty: mostly righty
Sex: ahem , it should be *gender* , brings ulte pulte khayal
Siblings: must be about a billion , coz' u know everything started with adam and eve .
Hair colour : didn't i just write about it ???? Is this the driving licence form ??
Height: 5'2" :( :( yaar chutku hu , just like sachin T. , SRK , priety Z. , ....

Have you ever:

Given anyone a bath? yes when i was 3 i triedto give my baby bro a bath !!!!!!!!!

Smoked? kya karen , ajkal karna hi padta hai , pollution convolution.

Bungee-jumped? Nopes , never met Whacko Jacko .

Made yourself throw up? hmmmmmmm , i do feel vomitish before the exams , but otherwise , ya once i had a splitting headache which made me puke up.

Gone skinny dipping? And WAzz That ??

Eaten a hot dog? haven't eaten but I ogle at Ranbir whenever I get the chance to .

Put your tongue on a frozen pole? seriously , Who started this ?????

Loved someone so much it made you cry? Itni kismat kahaaaaa

Broken a bone?   he bhagwaaan nahiiiiii ,

Played truth-or-dare?   From the time I've joined school and i don't know why but the most usual question is "  which guy do you like the most in *this* class ? "

Been in a police car? hahhahahaha yaaaa that was when I helped the police catch Shobhraj.

Been on a plane? yup , yup , and yup but no crazy encounter like Mads :)

Been in a sauna ? hmmmm kabhi summer time me kolkata aaiy e, sauna ka matlab samjhati hu

Been in a hot tub? ji haaaa

Gone swimming in the ocean? pool me hi kismat kharab thi , but ya been to the oceans. one thing people must try are the sweets there .:)

Fallen asleep in school? nooooo only once in college :P

Ran away? from home ? NO . from some one ? YES

Broken someone's heart?  YES once I crucified a vampire :D :D

Cried when someone died? And this question makes me realise how heartless I am . NO.

Cried in school?    hahhahhahha yeah baby have done that. reason 1: got 50 in maths once !!!
                                   reason 2 : when I slapped a guy , because he was about to propose me . Yes the nautanki helped him getting him two more from the teachers :D

Fallen off your chair?    For this , the credit completely goes to my brother

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? duh NO

Saved e-mails? Ya I do that .

Fallen for one of your best friends?   NO dearies , I don't *fall*

Used someone?   Haaa 1000 times . I'm so mean ,that when I pick up a child , I expect it to give me its cerelac bowl. So I guess I did use people , but not the kind they show in Bhandarkar's movies.

Have you had...

Chicken pox? NO measles

A sore throat? hahahaah have one right now

Stitches?   sorry I don't eat anything called stiches

* this really is my driving license ka form*

Do you...

Believe in love at first sight? Na jii , in my village , people don't even look at each other.

Like picnics? Only If I don't have to cook

Like school? :)  except the second one in assam .

Would you eat a live hamster for $1,000,000? Fry It Dude , fry it .

Who was the last person that called you? I think Esha . or maybe Dad ,but he spoke to mom too.

Who was the last person you slow-danced with?   I actually did it 2 mins back with mom .

What makes you laugh the most? People , and natural silliness

What makes you smile? My brain which kinda sends a signal to my cheek nerves

Who is the last person...

You yelled at? ummmmmmm has to be mummy ji , but that was last year OK , so lay off

Who broke your heart?   I is No Vampire !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok OK I"ll tell u the truth .....

      She breaks My heart , like she always does . Kamini , pehle , ranbir kafi nahi tha kya , that I have to see this also !!!!!!!!!!

Do you...

Like filling these out? anything to escape the drudgery of life

Wear glasses or contacts?
    Glasses yaaar

Like yourself?
   MOST of the times yes

Get along well with your family? That still happens ???? hehhehe yes I live in with them , you know.

Are you...

Obsessive?  Once upon a time I wanted to be obsessive about my studies , but alas......

Compulsive? At times.
Anorexic?     No way ,My BMI is almost perfect
Suicidal ?  hahhaha no , but had once threatened that To mom, to absolute ZERO effect

This and that:
Coffee or tea: or me ??? hehhe sorry sorry thats cheap. Coffee ,any day any time . waise do u guys know about the *other meaning * of having coffee ?? :P

Phone or in person: Depends on if i'm footing the bill or not

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest or the only child: Oldest , but only Ms Bannerjee can do Didigiri

Indoor or outdoor:

Indoor or Outdoor what ???
                                    like eating ? indoor
                                    walking : outdoor
                                     using abuses : outdoor
                                      tandoor :outdoor

Final questions:
Yippee

What are you listening to right now? Nayan tarse ( Dev D. ) + Ore Piya (Aaja Nachle )  + kaise mujhe tum mil gayeee (Ghajini)

What did you do yesterday? Accompanied a friend to her hair cutting endevour

Where do you want to get married? What , WAht , *zapped out* , Sorry - I - No -Understand- Question -too -Embarrased - To -Say -Might-be-Some -Usual -mandap-But -hate-it-that-way-so-I-say-Nowhere-sorry-Thoughts-Not-clear-Changing-answer-to-gondola-......-Weren't-parents-supposed-to-take-care-of-such-minorities????

I would like to be: Senti*mental*

Are you a good driver?
How do you know I'm learning???THIS has to be a form for driving license.

Are you a good singer? ask my friends :D , I'm more of a continuous singer

What do you dream about?
Dreams ain't fixed . after all , dreams break , dreamers dont.

Two People

2009-01-13T11:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes two people can interact only so much with each other.
The interest fades after some days and everything grows on you , every characteristic and every mannerism, sometimes we may not even give so much time for the growth .
isliye to kuch log best friends ban jate hai , aur kuch ki baatein 'hello -hi ' pe jaa kar hi ruk jati hai.

Then there are some we want to start something with , and think that this could lead only to friendship , enymity ,disagreement /agreement . Actually we don't think that much about what could happen in the future. It is when we go there , that we realise if we are in any furthur use of that person. Aur kabhi kabhi use ki baat to dimag me bhi nahi aati hai.

Sometimes even when two people don't meet for a long time , they abide by the norms of the past.Maybe that is the reason we feel so free with our school friends and families , the people who know what we once were , even though we might've changed by eons.

I have 87 friends on orkut all of I 'personally' know ,but, only 3 with whom I can talk whenever wherever.
/*
Duniyan badi gol hai
duniya badi gol hai
hain isme kitne jhol
galiyon galiyon chappa chappa

aplam chaplam lare lappa
tauba tauba rappa rappa
dei dei dei dei dei
toda pal mein pal mein masa
Pal mein pakda pal mein phansa
ekrun tikrum dekh tamasha
Yeh duniya badi gol hai
aari tedhi tirchi tirchi
meethi meethi mirchi mirchi
dikhti asli ,lekin pharji
je je jee jee jee*/

I'm human

2009-01-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

I'm human and hence Jealous , I'm human and hence get angry , I'm human and...

I had a blast of a day today . Well intially it wasn't supposed to be so with some boring chores to be done. But , bhagwaan ki kripa se all that got cancelled and I could go out with my school friends.
it was an all girl group & no offence , but , mazza hi kuch aur hai .

So while we were there and since more than half of my friends happen to be cancerians , my friend bought " bejan daruwala tells your future for 2009 - CANCER".After the usual round of "love & marriage " and all , we decided to read about the various divisions in which a cancerian is divided according to their date of birth .

Those who are born in the same week as I am are supposed to have an inferiority complex etc etc. Shunning these thoughts I enjoyed the whole day just as I would have otherwise .

An hour ago , something struck me . Maybe not an inferiority complex , but there have been times when I had felt sorry for myself.

My memory went back a year , I was carrying my heavy library books , walking to the busstand , with hair as askew as could be. And who do I see passing by , two people who I knew from a long time back, those who had flunked their boards , looking as if they were the brand ambassadors of Allen Solly or something . And that was when I felt angry. really angry.

I feel enraged when I see people making exam chits , some of 'em even proudly exhibit the fact that they could 'buy' the papers beforehand .

Then there are people who get through IMA in their 3 / 4th chances , there I had been looked down upon because of 83% .

The unfairness of it bites you , but even then you cannot protest against the things . Why?? Because then u might be deemed " too held up".

What is the way out then?? Only one way , not to demean yourself ,not to pity yourself because of such people , it is to hold your head high without thinking too much about it.

I for my part want to be rich , ambitious and at the top . tall promises to keep aren't they? I want to do exactly opposite of what they do , of what all the fakos do.

I might come down sooner than what you are thinking right now , but it matters what I think.
& like Raghu said " the process of detachment has to begin"

ps= Raghu's leaving roadies. It's become boring now.

I dream about

2009-01-08T20:44:00.000-08:00

I'm cooking my usual breakfast , the eggs almost done , the toast is burning. I switch off the toaster.There's a weird smell , the gas is leaking , I turn off the cylinder .Yet the gas leaks , I panic, and open all the windows & doors of my house .
& then I wake up.

Cool breeze carresses my hair, dadu is sitting by my feet , smiling . I feel content . His face is not visible, but he conveys that he has faith in me. Then as suddenly as the breeze fear steals over . Its been a week since he died.
& then I wake up .

My brother is sleeping. But he is sleeping on my bed and not his.I can sense something wrong ,just like the time when he was about to fall and I failed to warn him. The fan , there's something wrong with it , It comes crashing down him and all I can do is shout " hat jaa".
& then I wake up.

I'm very excited. Tomorrow we"ll go to watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I hope to have a happy dream. I dream of the whole Koi Mil gaya song just as it was in the movie.

Its my 13th and last christmas. I dream that santa gives me a nail enamel ,all my friends wear it u know , but mom doesn't allow me. I wake up & thats what I find in my stockings :).

My board results are due tomorrow . I dream meenakshi calls me up to lemme know about my results. Next day , my net is slower than usual , Meenakshi calls up " hey tera result sun , I got through the result helpline ......"

I know I'm sleeping and yet I'm falling . But there's no fear in me, in fact I feel happy , floating away into blissfulness.Its a dream .

Intitutions , fear , wishes all reflected in them
they seem truer than reality , yet are at a distance from reality.
seperated by a thin border of surrealism , reality can also be a dream
I wake up every time knowing that they weren't true
Why do i search for my answers in them ? then?
My mind which remains in my control , slips into the other world at night.
If my 'self' is for real , why can't my thoughts be too???

**************************************************************************************
ps= people if u dont like what u read in my blog , its ok if u don't comment. u dont have to just because i did in your blog .
**************************************************************************************

Hans de Hans de Hans de tu zara - song of 2008

2008-12-30T05:30:00.000-08:00

READ THE LAST LINE FIRST & THEN WORK UPWARDS

1. I'm addicted to blogs .now.

2.will keep resolutions

3. wanna write about some phunny /intellectual/ not so intellectual/ *i liked* phrases / lines/comments of this year:

-->tauba tera jalwa , tauba tera pyar tera emotional atyachar
-->frustration is the beginning of medicine ( then what does engineering end with???)
--->Obama kaun?? * apna common man like surinder sahni*
--->gg aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgghhhhhh ( amir in ghajini)
---> u break my heart , like u always do ( sahi line)

there are many more which i can't remember in this cyber cafe .

4. I never keep resolutions , but wanna do it this year . No won't blabber about them here.

5. i won't feel sad , as resurgence says "wish i get out of this habit of cribbing"

6.Ghajini is The movie of the year ( yes my critical review really counts).

7. felt sleepy after RNBDJ ( i don't Wanna be rude )

8. Kidnap is The comic movie ( hehheheh mausam ye awesome baraaa , still cant forget that song)

9.My net isn't working anymore :(

10. since you're interested in my life.

11. don't read this , instead call your mom ,dad , friends & new year get together plan karooo.

Wish you all a Very Happy New Year .

MOMENTS & SECONDS

2008-12-16T04:38:00.000-08:00

1. Your Oldest Memories
My memory is in fact very good when it comes to people , and i tend to remember the small small things that happened when i was with them. So here are two of my oldest memories :) :-

memory 1 = I was a 3 year old kid then . It was a drizzling , & my dad thought of taking me out for ice cream. He had a Rajdoot ( motorcycle) & I used to sit on that tank thing ( ya i know it's dangerous) , facing dad , so that i wouldn't fall off. We went to the icecream wallah , me wearing a light blue raincoat ,dad asked for his favourite Vanilla icecream which i never favoured 'coz it tasted like milk. The ice cream guy said that it was out of stock & Dad gave a big smile & said " cholo aj chocolate icecream khai". & that was my first choco icecream cup , the flavor which is still the favourite.

memory 2= This one is from a time when me and my brother were 8 and 6, this was a time when he used to sort of think that his didi knew all the answers :).

Me & my bro were going to some usual baccha B'day party , with the usual pack of sketchpens for gift.
Rony --" didi , didi , whats the difference between moments and seconds?"
Me --" arre seconds se to minute banta hai & moments to chote chote pal hote hai, seconds se bhi kam"
( i still don't know how i came up with that ans )
Rony-- " ooooo achhaa moments se hi seconds banta hai"

2. What were you doing 10 years ago
That would be 1998 , that means I was in a new school (KV Joka) , and as far as i can remember our teacher must've given us some essay as holiday homework . Hmmm , i think i must've been doing that H.W.

3. Today - Your first thought in the morning
"Cmon , its control system today , get out of the bed "

4. If you build a time capsule, what would it contain
pehli baat I'm not thaaaaat intelligent that I'll build a time capsule & even if i do , take loads of food , aur kya , god knows what people will eat in the future!!!

5. Tomorrow - Next year, same day
No idea or ya maybe celebrating the end of another sem.

6. What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now.
Right now I'm pretty impressed by SRK , not as an actor , but the hardwork he put into earning zillions so.....

This one was for Amrita

The next one is for Shantanu
one of the rules is that i can skip any question if i want to.

9. What takes you down the fastest?
negative or pessimistic thoughts about myself

10. What resurrects you the fastest?
hmmmm, I resurrect myself .

11. What’s your fear?what do I fear for?
dead bodies ( not dead people) & maybe anger.

I love...

2008-12-08T04:57:00.000-08:00

//* you made my sixteen sweet,
you came closer to my face than most could
you saw through my blemishes
and instead chose to show me the world
our affair grows stronger everyday
at night when i sleep without you , my dreams seem incomplete
you have become my identity, we have become one.

you were my first crush
you eluded me for some years
but I could not resist you and
finally fell in love with you
you made everything so fantastic
now you're gone & i realise I miss you
now that you are gone

I was never allowed to be with you
they said I would have to grow up ,before i could meet you
I waited , you embraced me when the time came
you made me see the ways of people
you lent me a shoulder after a hard day at college
you guide me

they say you are vile
that you've had many flings and
destroyed 'em all
& yet when you let me hold you
i feel blessed

And YOU ?? YOU ?? the one I think about the most,
you belittle me , you anger me , you make me cry
and then like a lost lover you come back
and you cast a spell on me again
are we soul mates ?
I try to ignore you , I make fun of you
And yet it is you who manages to
bring the real smile on my lips.
coz you are the one who
gives me an identity *//

How was it? just realised how like for forever I have heard people crib about things which make our lives easier . I have never found a reason to hate those things , in fact I could have fallen in love with them if they had been humans.

Each of the above paragraphs are dedicated to my specs , maths, bus / metro ,money and finally exams respectively.

2008-12-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

ehsaan tu itna sa karde,
mujhe fir tanha sa kar de.

RESISTIVITY

2008-11-25T08:16:00.000-08:00

"ye jo waqt hai na , jo hum yahan bita rahe hai ,
dekhna aage jake ise yaad karenge aur hasenge"--geet

I just realised how true these words are , every time a year goes by , a moment goes by we don't realise how special it is unless you recount it and get this nostalgic feeling. That may take years to happen but it does , sooner or later.

Have my practical exams going on , and was thinking about the way I would think about them after say 4 years . something rushed back - me doing an experiment on the potentiometer -Cls 12th.
I still remember how R. almost cried because she had forgotten the use of a vernier calliper ,how physics sir had referred to my tuition mates as "monkey guys " :). More memories rushed back from class 10th, the last time I celebrated my birthday in class amongst a huge chorus of "Happy
birthday Amrita" & then handing out toffees to all & one .

Something changed after class 10th.The 3 month long break did something to all of us , we became 'different' , tiny T suddenly became a 6 footer & was hence called tall T. , C moved to another class & we had to meet up during tiffin time ( so saheli , I've had practise :) ) , king kong stopped singing , while Mr. doc started , Sa was the first one to have a bf,so many memories & they all come rushing to you as if they were all a part of a yesterday which was yet to be forgotten.

And now for the reason why this post was written - it's dedicated to A.C. A.c came in class 11th , the kind of guy who looks sweet & stylish at the same time , had curly hair ( i still remember), he had this dude thing going for him & mind you that was the time when we didn't even use the word "dude". That was the kind of guy who wouldn't even look at a girl like me ( that was the year i got my specs ) , but would talk to me when needed & lo-downs like me would feel like princesses ( now i know that was what 16 felt like). So how did the bubble burst??
He was also in my physics & maths & chemistry tuitions ( actually 4 other guys were also in the same batch) . We had this physics tuition test & were discussing questions , so AC who's sitting besides me askes me " oi amrita resisitivity ka unit kya hai" .
me : " resisitivity?? seimen"
AC : " as in s----??"( he actually spelled it !!!! )
The other guys slammed their heads & I had THE most quizzical expression on my face with my jaw almost dropping to ground zero. for one second I thought maybe it was one of those silly guy jokes , but the look which the others were giving clearly said otherwise . * & that's how the cookie crumbled* I realised I could not ever have a crush or even think of having a crush on someone whose mental box is sooooooo empty.

Aaaaahh memories & memoirs , how they still bring a smile in times which will be remembered again.

ps: inspired by priya joice's priya & sahil

2008-11-21T09:28:00.000-08:00

Do you pray?
Pray for something to happen or not , maybe without your head bowed in front of God. But , do you??

My brother says he doesn't believe in a separate entity called GOD , but I know how hard he was praying when he really wanted to pass that exam.
As kids usually feel , a kid used to feel that praying to only one GOD would make the others feel bad just like she felt when her teacher didn't praise her.
Some feel that one should pray so as to prove that they too belong to the society, the same society which is multiracial , multi religion, multilingual & yet a single entity.

I read somewhere today " it was not GOD who made man , but man who made GOD"

If man made God ,then why can't we call him whenever we wish to , to come & solve whatever miserable problem that we are so stuck in. & If there really is/are a God/s where is he/they when the world needs them the most??

Are we all clusters of atoms & molecules destined to become dust one day & then fade away, If so then why do the doings of others hurt us so? But the hurt of others fails to touch us , us who are a part of this race , the race among equals , the race amongst divided and the race within ourselves.

Is it God's fault if something bad happens to us , is it your fault if I die tonight?

Only questions to which there are seldom answers , & then the girl says " Maybe God needs rest today , He/ She can be tired too"
I say " How can God be tired , isn't thou supposed to be after all, ALMIGHTY??"
the girl said "Hey would you not want to sleep awhile if everyone came & told all their sorrows to you and wanted you to sort 'em out? Maybe thou wants you to face the world , to learn , to fall and then realise it's not easy being God, not easy after all to be the human , the one who created God"

**************************************************************************************

ruki si zindagi se , thaki si zindagi se , kuch pal chura lo naa

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN...

2008-11-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

What happens when
you see John a. and can't breathe for the next 5 mins.

What happens when
you think that is that Abhishek B. acting gay or how can someone enact
so well????

What happens when
you know that you may weigh lesser than most people , but can never
be 5"8 , can never wear slinky yet supaa stylish threads &well
can't do many many things like living in Miami.

What happens when
after a decade of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai , you go to see Dostana

What happens when
you think this is another review of the movie with a name which is
another word for happy.

What happens when

you can't be sweet & have to say the second half was boring.

One of the basic characteristics of mine are that I can't be sweet , I can be nice , can be funny , crazy , but I can't be diabetes inducing. My voice lacks that quality , you know how some people can do those "ooooooo's" & "aaaaa's" . The scene which I could really connect to was when P.C ( everyone's calling her that now) , didn't get the promotion & is disappointed & almost crying.
Having read Vanilla sky's post , i was reminiscensing about the days , a decade back when K2H2 entered our lives :) .The movie which defined coolness & like SRK puts it " the clothes will go out of style , but the coolness of that movie will never go out of style".

Like someone said to me once ( I think it was Resurgence ) --"Girl be proud of the principles you stand up for , coz they are yours".
I think I have been overtly positive for quite a bit of time , there's nothing wrong in that , just that , it sometimes makes you forget that not everybody is as right as I might think they are & makes you callous. It's like I have been waiting to be kicked , but how could I have already forgotten the kicks I had already suffered . One of the possible ways of doing that is to close your eyes to people & their ways. I still believe that , somewhere down there there's a good person in all of us , it's just that we have learnt to be selfish so that we don't get hurt by others. I don't mind being selfish ,I used to be one of the most self centered people & could see an oppurtunity in almost everything I do. I think some of that persona has still stayed with me , but most of it had been forgotten , Guess I need to get some of it back.

Have you realised how many I's I've used in the previous para?? My mom used to say we shouldn't be an I person but a WE person.
SRK says " It's not lonely at the top , It's alone". Friends go on their own respective ways after their tenure with us , new people take their place , I was wondering will it be the same when I leave bloggerville??
I think I'm one of the few people who won't say "blogging is my life & I can't live without it"
or " I have found immense friendship in co- bloggers & can chat with them all through the day". True I like the straightforwardness of some bloggers & almost think of them as friends , but I also have real friends in the real world . hehehe did i just say friends again , the business of friendship is a lil complicated , i mean here i am talking about the great virtues of real life friends whereas even i don't know whether my blog friends or the real life ones will stick with me 3 years from now.But I also know that as long as I'm here , whether the 'here' is e-blogger or real life or dreams , I might as well make the most of it ,actually be with the people who are in that realm.

What happens when
you think that this post sounds too confused.

What happens when
your mind wanders back to John & his dimples .

Well , you end the post , thinking that from next time you"ll use an excuse like *both my hands were chopped off & am now typing with my tongue* (courtesy uchhia tejish). But for now , all i can think is of two very straight blokes kissing (each other) like ,like , like , like......

MAA KA LADLA BIGAD GAYA

2008-11-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

Cancer: You have a plethora of opportunities today. If you are single , then , your crush will send you important signals.

Usually the type to forget what my horoscope says even before i finish with it , this one actually ignited in me a hope , a hope that yess may be finally i too will have a 'happily ever after' . Sweet dreams filled my way to college , I imagined what life would be from then on .
We had a test , which got cancelled , took that as a positive sign , of things to come. Never leaving hope even for once, even when the day finally came to an end , so what?? night was yet to come & with our teacher having drilled us about the many wonders Telecommunication had to offer .........., life seemed sweet.

I waited , waited & waited.But , it never came , no phone call , no email , no important signals. Didn't they care????? Neither R.K nor I.K bothered . :( hmmpphh didn't they care ? ya so what if they belong to the 'already committed' species , LOVE IS TRASH .
bande samjhte hi nahi :x Whatever , who cares anyways??? Waise bhi I have my exams coming up , better concentrate on that. .

How silly love thing is na?? grown up people like teddy bears , hawhawhaw *sorry can't help but guffaw* & Even knowing this people long for it , long to find the perfect partner , the soul mate . Exaggerated is it?? or may be not. silly it seems to us , the *unlucky ones* & yet so serious to those who *feel* it.

me: "hey my bro has a gf" * with full on excitement , he's the first in our family.*
friend: "whoa , your bro is NORMAL . What did aunty say?? "
me: *dismally*" nothing ,she's pretty cool about it , hasn't even been pokey about it " *since I was obviously expecting a great hullabaloo or at least something like -- noooooooo*
friend : " hahahhaha , everybody (except u) is normal".

*Guess mom realised that at least it's a gf & not ... well.. a bf*

Why I named the post so ?? hhehe hope you've got the idea by now.

&since single is an expletive which is hurled more dangerously than the four letter F word , just imagine how life would be with phrases like " what the si *&^%ngle" or "si&%$@ngle you !! " GHASTLY , people would be deranged for life , emotionally scarred for the rest of their already miserable S *&@^lives !!

Wondering how I"ll deal with this condition of mine??? As a famous director we all like to bitch about & yet watch each one of his single movies had said " Baby , I'm single , ready to mingle , but there's no one to dingle "
Guess what mentally challenged people like me don't even feel the need to dingle , i don't know if that's weird , but , it's like life is so fine now without any hassles to it. ( some of you might feel , ooo she's trying to cover it up or huh what does she know -- its perfectly ok if u do that) .

ps: Have all of you already fallen in the real kind of love??

& for those of us who haven't , there's no hurry re, just listen to this:

"Tu sabar to kar mere yaar
Zara saans to le dildaar

Chal fikar nu goli maar
Yaar hai dil jindi de chaar

Haule haule ho jayega pyaar chal yaar
Haule haule ho jayega pyaar"

what should a girl do???

2008-11-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

THIS POST IS MEANT ONLY FOR THE FEMALE SPECIES
--any comment by those of the opposite sex will be deleted ( sorry tyro , tera bhi kar dungi , bura mat maniyo guys log) .

Ya & now I''ll get on with the post & please before getting me wrong , do read the whole post.

I am(or was until i realised) petrified of dressing up , wearing kajal etc etc In fact I used to make fun of girls who used to do that , I used to call them 'delicate darlings' , 'dimpy darlings' , 'simpering queens' & what not . I had this notion that if i ever wore any sort of make up or even earrings , people would percieve me as a ''lallu'' or some ''beauty without brains'' . Infact I was afraid that someone else might call me by the same names that I had given to the many girls I had given . I thought the guys ( yes you read that right ) would not treat me as an equal if I ever let go of these notions , scary dreams of not getting a job & being treated lightly by people haunted me.

I have read some blogs , newspaper articles, magazines , which show women boasting of doing liposuctions, plastic surgeries to look beautiful . One simple thing could never penetrate my hard skull was why all these women were spending so much on beauty. I mean everything will fade away in its own sweet time won't it?? . Somewhere down the line realised that all these were done to attract men. How repulsed I felt by the very thought , never failing to criticise such people .

Behaving like a girl/ woman would in this world could earn her usual comments like " ohh so girlyyy" , " typically girlyy" , "who's she trying to baby?" .Behaving like a girl could be a greater sin than dressing like one. you can't complain about people smoking ( irrespective of their gender) *Oh she's too soft* , or abusive language , funny na , how almost all the awful-est abuses are aimed at the female .

Some years later , I realised a sort of funny thing , even though i had modified myself to neve be girly , i too had changed for the male mindset. How silly * there is no need to change ourselves for anyone else* that was what i had thought forever & yet i had.

The world around us is strewn with women , women we love , women with integrity , women with strength. Some of my personal favourites are -- Mother Teresa,Indira Gandhi , Julia Roberts & apni Priety Z.

I still cringe when I hear things like "a child out of wedlock is no- no"* how can any child be not good??*, "OMG you are still single ?? hopefully , you won't go down the wrong way" *No , I won't !!!!* , "Gosh , I can't wait to fall in love"*& then madly falling for someone who gave you a rose & said something like -- i see the moon in your eyes , & then breaking up with that one in about 3 years"

I just felt like writing it all down . Some of you might find me confused about this topic , maybe thats because deep inside I'm a feminist to the T & at the same time have also realised that changing your viewpoint keeping the male thinking in mind would be just like killing thy true self.

ps-- & all those guys who have already read it ,don't comment on this topic.

It's only words...

2008-10-31T05:17:00.000-07:00

11 am , two days back : After solving ( rather cracking my head) over 3 very disturbing sums , switched on the radio & lo what could be playing?? --"DISTURBIA" . The RJ was having her usual chit-chat with callers with the topic being " What hurts you the most", various people called & then there was this girl who said " It's like we tide over the great failures life offers us but somehow we feel disturbed if someone doesn't smile at us , or laughs at us " .

Is that true?? How many times has it been that some random guy/girl cold shouldered us & we developed a grudge against them? How much time did it take for us to get over the fact that we flunked our maths exam? less or more?

I thought over it , & found some of it to be true .

11 years back :We had bought this bed with a huge bed stead . clumsy me fell on it & got an 'anda' on my lil head , ma said " ooof stop being an idiot " next day my bro followed suit & mom applied ice . I noticed. After a week i was crying buckets , when ma asked what happened ?? *You called me an idiot , but didn't say anything to him* ( sobbing sobbing). Understanding the emergency of the situation ,she pampered me like hell *smiling*.
That was the time i had felt bad that we weren't treated equally & promptly forgot all the times my bro got scolded bocz of me. How selfish na??

How emotional we are na?? As we grow up & learn the finer nuances of life , we build these walls around us which stop us from calling out to people , stop us from telling them that they've hurt us . Rather we magnify small things & lose ourselves in it.

But there are times when we need to speak out loud , appeal & make people listen to us .These are the times when staying mum just won't help .

Both ways round , the more we speak & let people know about how we feel , the better they"ll know not to hurt us , not to chide us , but to comfort us , to be friends with us & lastly to point out our mistakes to us.

I really wanted to write about something positive & bursting with joy types ,but...right now , I feel there's a need for people to communicate with each other rather than keeping all the emotions bottled up.

2008-10-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY DIWALI
HAVE LOADS OF FUN & MASTI :D ::D

Dream On

2008-10-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

What was your dream??
Something you thought you would & were certain that you could???
&What has happened to it now?? Has life shaped up the way you wanted it to?

I remember my dad saying that as a kid he wanted to be a bus conductor because of the limitless freedom it offered to him ( I guess his main dream was to get freedom from the over fathoming attention a single kid gets ) .

My own dream was not so lofty , all I ever wanted to be as a kid ( & as far as my memory takes me back) was to be a ballet dancer . ( are you laughing? ) Guess what I used to actually practise standing on my toes , do the split your legs thing & all that . I used to think so what if i can't pursue it right now , I"ll practise now & by the time I"ll grow up , I"ll be ready. :) ahh childhood - when you believe you can get whatever you want ( I still do) .

Then , time passed & I wanted to be a psychiatrist & being a doctor seemed to be a noble profession :). By the time i reached my 12th , had started hated bio & loving maths :) . I even gave all the Entrance exams AIPMT , AIIMS ( !! ) etc etc .Finally mustered up the courage to tell my folks that human / plant anatomy was not my thing .
( phew ! )

I could still touch my head with my toes :)

Three years have passed since that day , have gained almost 8 more kgs ( no issue ) , have met an ocean of people ( some good , some better) , gone from one sem to another , made gpa's more significant than they ever were ,but , I can't remember the last time I did a piroutte . Have I let go of my dream ?? the perfectionist in me?? the kid who got up at 2 am to study for her sanskrit test ?

. As we grow up, someone or the other might say " oh cmo'n stop being a baby " , " grow up" & with our impressionable minds we think that yaaa what a baby I was .

I guess at some point or the other all of us have let go their dreams regarding it as childish , but what if we hadn't ? The point here is not whether we achieve what we dreamt about but what our dreams promised to give us .
All I had to do was think of times gone by , & what I had wanted to be then.

Writing this post made me feel that somewhere down inside I still know that girl ( that bachhi :) ) That kid in me reminds me that I can still do it , do whatever I wanna do , dance the way I like to .
New dreams take the place of older ones .Life is ever changing ever demanding but the crux remains same .

Dream On...

p.s=" pehla nasha" my blog song reminds me of the time when i had my first crush on a cute guy called amir khan :)

2008-10-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Its almost one a.m. & I have been thinking what should my next post be about. Should it be about my visit to Hyderabad?? No , that would sound like one of those 'My Holiday' essays we used to do as kids, & in any case people know more about paradise ki biryani , salarjung museum , hussain sagar more than what I could know in 4 days .

Holidays are always such eye openers . they open my eyes to the kind of person i've morphed into , the kinds of changes i've undertaken . I realised that even though the no. of readers reading my blog had increased by about six times than what it was initially , the language or rather the ideas i used were somewhat childish or rather immaturish ( not that i have any hurry to grow up & all ) . The whole idea of being " truthful " was to be what i am . But somewhere down the line i adopted the mannerisms which were not mine so that people would think that ya i'm on the same level as they are . Yup that was me then & this is me now.

& before i bore you furthur with my introspections &retrospections lemme tell u about the two books i read last week .

I know that most of you must have heard about T.D.W.P ( laurent weiseberger) courtesy the movie & maybe like me had no idea about 'Tuesdays with Morrie ' ( sorry for the generalisation , i tend to forget that others are not as ignorant as i am ) .

Have any of you had teachers you remember even now ?? Someone who instilled something in you ?

I remember my class 7 science teacher Mrs Shipra Ghosh . That was the time when maths & me were like chalk & cheese , in fact the continuous 7/30 or the highest 15/30 had dealt such a blow on my confidence that i had started fumbling in other subjects too . That was the time we had Ghosh as our teacher . She was first of the many teachers who changed the way i looked at my science book . & then came the strictest maths tutor I had seen in my life Mr Chowdhury & our physics sir Mt Gugan , who used to think studies were something to be liked . this thought of their's had us gaping because some where in our 14 years of school dom we had realised that since these teachers had such surly faces while teaching things they themselves were not interested in their subjects . & then these new teachers came & made us sit up & realise that " yay baby there's a lot to be learned from all spheres of life even if u think otherwise " .

Do keep in mind that I'm not some IIT ian ( which here is is still considered to be the nishani of an intelligent kid , & IItians don't take it otherwise :) )

So what do you do when your favourite teacher is holding on to the last threads if his life ??That is the basic premise of "tuesdays with morrie" where a student meets his old dying teacher every tueday & talks to him , listening to his experiences about life .

The Devil Wears Prada , too is about a teacher , though , of quite a different kind.
Miranda Priestly is THE boss from hell . She'll make you lose your boy friend , your best friend ,your confidence and then will complain that her cappuccino has gone cold & end it all with a "that's all" no hello's, no sorry's & certainly no thank you's.
Andrea the new assistant ( read slave ) learns to run around in stilettos, survive on soup for 24 hrs & stay mum all at the same time & at the same place she thought was not where she belonged .

What would you do if you had a boss / teacher like Miranda ??

Initially my answer was WTF , if I had a boss like that I'd go & complain to her & tell her to treat me like a human . But then again , when are such people ever accommodating ???

What Morrie taught in T.W.M was followed by Miranda ( a lil negatively) . Never be sorry for the person you are , don't doubt yourself or your abilities . Miranda never doubted that what she did was right & hence was supersuccesful. I'm not suggesting here that you treat the rest of the mankind as lizards or something , but it's like I / we have to stop thinking that something in us is bad . The more we believe in the goodness in us the more will it come out.

Teachers are all around us . Even when we are like 100 yr old there''ll be someonewho can teach us about the world , what it had been & what more changes it will experiment with. & maybe someday if we are lucky we might impart something to someone too :)

p.s =If this post sounds a lil preachy & holistic & if you don't like it plz feel free to express yourself . Of late Ive been feeling that people might get offended if I comment about my disagreement with their blog posts . Is it necessary that we have to align with someone's thoughts in order to interact with them ???

just realised the anamoly here . even though i wrote about not feeling sorry for the person you are , i've already apologized more than twice !!!!

It's Holiday Time

2008-10-05T09:19:00.000-07:00

Haven't been out of Kolkata in ages , & am finally going out (Hyderabad to meet dad) . Can't remember the last time I was on a train.
I love the view outside when it's all dark outside , & the train whistles slowly :) :) .
Has been almost a week since my hols started & guess what am already missing college . I mean idling , sitting around , shopping -- have done all that , but somehow...... going to college brings out a whole plethora of activities . The long walk towards our building , that rushing off to the loo just 2 mins before lab , the canteen chow , the library ka A.C & many more things . But one good thing that these chutti's have done is that i have sort of regained my old confident self :D :D. I miss all the masti & friends .

Again bouncing off to a completly different topic -- have you wondered how funny some of the 'friend requests' on orkut are??
for eg: hey let's be my friend ( ya baby there's no harm in being your own friend !!!! )
or wanna make friendship? ( duh & what are the ingredients ?? )
or what is the meaning of your dp ( are you blind or something ?? thats just a girl there ! )
Guess what happened once ?? Fresh out of Jab We Met effect , there was this guy from 'ratlam' who send me a request & I actually went to his profile & pata chala that was the sleaziest guy from there !!!!

Read somewhere , a guy chooses a girl based on her beauuuuutyyy , & a girl does so based on the guy's intelligence . If that is true , girls are the more intelligent lot ,anyways & if its not that means the vice versa is true ? ain't it ?

Anyway don't have anything more to write about & am ending this post soo abruptly , here's wishing you all a very happy puja / dussehera :D :D ENJOY

ps : this blog song 'jane kyun' is dedicated to all my friends .

REALISATIONS &CONCLUSIONS

2008-09-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

If any of you is thinking that this is another post about how I'v finally realised the undeniable truth of life or am going to write about the Singur problem ( for god's sake(s) , it has been written about by people far qualified than me ! ) or why am I still trying to be truthful , buddy ,lemme break your heart & tell you that it's not so .

Some may find lil resemblance to "zindagi ke funde" by abhishek khanna .

1. When does 'oldest' sound like 'voltage'?? ---when you don't know what chunnu prakash ( he's our prof. ) is rattling on about in his impeccable oinglisss (english!!!!!). By god ! after passing, we should get another degree for understanding " various dialects which imerge when you interact with teachers in dire need of a language teacher"
p.s: i haven't really read any shakespeare ki kahani (cbse educated ) in their original version & therefore , you may think am not entitled to such opinions.
did read romeo & juliet . could'nt share the same emotions as others who call it the ultiimate romantic saga. I mean , two people die because of a misunderstanding ! ( ya ya i know you must be thinking , kitni shallow thinking hai & you are entitled to it & do express any such comments instead of deleting them"

2. Do you want to fall in love when you see "lost in love" couples ??? point in case : caught someone stealing such glances(longingly) at a pair involved in PDA . X is actually finding it hard to talk to Y & makes do with talking to the security gaurd outsides Y's building.

3. Drona , Dostana , Kidnap ??? sorry could'nt be without mentioning some movies :)
Drona =bakwaas lag rahi hai . i hate that "oop oop cha " song & almost everything about the movie seems contrived.
Dostana = hmmmm , will a gay theme work in India ?? btw , pri chopra & jonny bravo look quite muscular .
Kidnap = I like that song " sing it hey yaaa say s for sonia(mind u -the audio) " will watch
it (aise hi)

4. Why do people give gaalis? sorry why do people give "ma behen beti" galis . You know , however much I have an "I'm okay / used to it or ya do whatever you want to , i don't care if you trod hell's path " attitude , I actually feel polluted & need to use an earbud & feel like kicking such jerks !! Is it a girl thing??? More so do people think it's cool or that this will make them popular among friends??

5. Easier to emote than expressing ?? - - How many of us have expressed our views in the real world as frankly as we do in bloggerville?? Is it that we are afraid that we''ll be ridiculed or laughed at? Or is it simply because , we feel they won't be interested in what we think .
my thoughts ?? well , i think that sometimes i can't put out my thoughts in the way that most people would understand.

6. Chaap nish na - this means dont be tensed just relax , golden words I'v learnt in the last 2 years . You know what why these words hold so true because sometimes If you just wish for the best & don't fret about what will be or won't be , things turn out to be fine .

Your views??

Quirk--ies

2008-09-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

As most readers would know , a quirk is an odd habit. This post is actually a tag , but am not going to write it in that way 'coz right now I find it really boring to call another post a tag (phew! long explanation).
Was thinking that which of my habits are quirks , & how i should differentiate them from my likes & dislikes & have decided to write about each o' them under a separate heading .

So here goes nothing:--

1. Before sleeping
* I have to tie my hair in a neat braid , or sleeping is a distant dream.
*Have to arrange all the books on my desk in neat stacks & clean up all the mess on it.

2.. When sleeping , have to have a pillow on my head ( yes you read that right )

3.If happen to hear a song , the words of which are incomprehensible , I have to look for the 'lyrics '(courtesy---internet) part & learn them (wonder of wonders that takes lesser time than mugging up for digital communication!!). eg -- mauja mauja .

4. By some wonder of God , i do exactly opposite of what my mom 'tells 'me to do . its not whether I like to do that or not , i'm just wired that way .
& my mom knows that , so acc. to her i can smoke & fly , drink &drive , have bfs ,get bad mks , maroo chutti from college if i feel tired etc etc :P :P :p ( oi see how our folks are always smarter than what we think them to be ??? )

5.this one's really silly maybe because i've run out of quirks , --- i hate pen caps & cant write with one on top of it , if i had my way i'd throw away all the pen caps the moment i buy them.
plz plz i'm really sorry , am adding another one now (after atleast 4 people have already read it ) -- its just that in the morning i have to solve the morning sudoko before or during breakfast (even if its a sem exam day or something like that ) & my day is almost incomplete without my big glass of milk ( umm its actually milkshake / hot chocolate, plz dont think of me as kiddish , coz i had read somewhere milk makes u strong or was it someone who told me that , & have followed that religeously )

I"ll also like to read about the quirks of resurgence , solitaire , keshi , peter , abhishek khanna , flying stars ..... add your name if u wanna

thanks saheli :)

TWINKLE TWINKLE

2008-09-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

I wonder sometimes , that why do we want to change people around us?? Even if the only reason to do so is , that they are trying to live their life the way they want to, just like us.
Are we too focussed on the outer contour of a person , rather than what he/she stands for?
lets take an example with which many of us may feel connected. Remember when Kareena K. achieved her size zero status? Almost every one discussed it , it was even in the news !! I know , that her head sort of looked bigger than her body , but somehow all of us made an issue about how she was being a wrong model for "aaj ki generation" .
How many of us actually, do look up to her to be a role model?? ---- :O . rather, how many of us are fit to be a role model? we all know that we have some imperfection in us , whether in the way we behave , or what we wear.
Personally , I hate being judged , especially if its something which doesn't hurt anybody else.
Equally surprising is the fact that we put up with behaviour like smoking , swear words which i cant even say out loud in my head. If someone does raise a question against these "norms" , he/she is immediately silenced . is called prudent or "nakhchadi" or something similiar.
A certain ad by " F & lovely " shows a guy going with his family to "see" a girl ( i.e meeting the girl before an arranged marriage) , the girl says 'hi' & looks at the guy's paunch . The guy immediately realises this , is ashamed & gets into gymming , body-shody banata hai . He gets back to the girl & this time confidenly says ' hi' to her.
The motto : the guy reduced coz he felt he had to match upto the girls fairness quotient.
Is this fair?? What if the girl had been dusky , would he have pushed himself?

But then again , when did judging anyone start? I remember as a kid , i wasn't your usual cute softy softy baby fatty . I wasnt the kid whose cheeks were golu . i was a tall lanky kid ,even at 7years of age , had sober eyes not playful types. What I specifically remember was one Lakshmi maam who used to do coochie coo with almost all the cutey kids & all she had for the likes of me was --- "u r so thin that ek foonk maroongi to ur jaoongi" .I think she meant it to be a joke , but somethings don't remain funny after they've been said a 100 times over . ( please nobody should post sympthasising comments) . I tolerated this , thinking at that time , that maybe what she said was true . But one day , something clicked & I retorted saying " & even if a roadroller comes to pick you up , uska tyre flat ho jaiga" & I remember the look of shock on her face . sweet revenge :) .
& then whenever I would meet her , I'd retort the same line , not caring that she had actually stopped taking a go at me .
Now I wonder , if it was that comment which made me a quick tongue now . Also , what did she gain , by ridiculing a small kid ? --- I'v realised that she too belongs to the same world from where we come. sometimes unknowingly & sometimes knowingly , we have judged others just because some of their 'methods' whcih we didnt like.
So when S says that i come from the zoo ,&should go back there where people will feed me plenty of peanuts or that since Im from an army background im a trained fighter & know no emotions , I laugh out .But sometimes , when that 7yearr old kid in me gets irritated , i retort back too .
I know , i know many of you may be thinking "kitnii senti hai , ek joke bhi nahi le sakti hai " then i say : "Boss le sakti hu, unless its not the 100 th time its repeated"

Fortunately , I have some friends (&I'm sure all of us have), who I know have accepted me for the person I am , & even if they do tell me something about me , it"ll be true to the core .

&Finally , I wish we could live in a world where people would be tried only for criminal offences .:)
ps: any new suggestions to tackle S are very welcome.

/* A song from Rock on
I think , it can fit in as a conversation with fellow bloggers

Yeh Tumhari Meri Baathein, Hamesha Yuhin... Chalti Rahe..
Yeh Hamari Mulakate, Hamesha Yuhin... Chalti Rahe..
Beete Yuhin Apne Saare Din Raaat
Baaton Se Nikalti Rahe Nayi Baaat
Phir Wahin Baathein Leke Geet Koi... Hum Likhe..
Jo Dil Ko Haan Sab Ke Dil Ko.. Chu Le..
Baathein Suron Mein Yuhin Pighalti Rahen..
Baathein Geeton Mein Yuhin Dalti Rahen..
*/

2008-08-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

Been tagged by rachael :) . its a first from her .So here it goes ,
1.What have you realised recently?
Many many many things , have realised
--that there will always some people who will never leave your side.
---- that just because someone doesnt do what we do , they arent wrong in doing so .
----that life is what it is & it will take you where it has to ,but of course, in the end you can say that I showed it the way.

2.Have you given your first kiss away?
a typical sati savitri answer would be " of course to ma &dad" but i know well which first kiss this question asks about , & no that has not yet come my way .
*unless of course you take that time when i was a 9yr old & kissed amir khan's screen image hehehhehe*

3. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?
the island wouldnt be deserted then hehheh.
But actually , maybe no one. thats really cold of me na? but thats what i am like , very few people have my full confidence. &thats why have named 'tis blog"ill try to be truthful" (however melodramatic it may sound).
because today even if i do name 11 bloggies , will that chance really come ?
vanilla sky & tyro i hope u wont be angry at me now .
4.Where is the place you want to go the most?
Tawang (again) , Greece , Venice ... the list goes on .& of course all the places i'v stayed in .

5.If you have one dream to come true,what would it be?
As a kid , I had a dream that when i would grow up , i"ll be super successful really cool &all that. & then i would drive down my car to my own apartment which is tastefully done by me . but , the colour of my room is purple ( yes thats right).
& after parking my car , i go up to my room , sit on a cream coloured sofa , switch on the tv , watch something & then go to cook my dinner . after cooking & eating i'd be tired like hell & then go to sleep thinking " wow i finally did what i wanted to , i finally am independent".
6.Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
I believe in seeing the rainbow during rain .

7.What are you afraid of losing the most now?

Idont know , maybe when I"ll lose something then I"ll know

8.If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I"ll keep on reminding myself that I mus'nt go mad , or stop working hard or stop aspiring for bigger things :) . waise a top open gaddi would be a good idea :D& maybe a trip to the places i wanna go & maybe some gucci ,valentino dresses & some of this 'n' that. .......

9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
I guess that"ll be that one time when i"ll be shy . But who knows what"ll happen if there's someone ..............................

10.List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you
-- she tagged me .
-- raphael rhymes with racheal (from friends)
- she's nice

11.What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
" all of us try to find love , &when we dont , we close our eyes to it , telling that there's no such thing , all the while waiting for it to come & wake us up , shake us & scream at us saying " its me , & only me "
as for the 'requirements' thing i actually don't believe in such things because in the end they don't matter ( well except ofcourse - a senile mind :P)

12.What type of people do you hate the most?
I dont really hate people , just some characteristics in them.
some of them being trickery , falsehood, & a rougish look in the eyes .

13.What is the one thing you can't live without?
people , people & people .

14. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
I listen to only some people who over the years have wished well for me .As for others pointing out my faults its fine as far as its something valid & not something stupid as "you should put on more weight "

15. Racheal tag shows that this qwestun is missing. What do I do?
I put up a question ----" when was the last time you helped someone? why did you do it?"

16.Are you a shopaholic or not?
hehheheheheh only when mom is with me :P

17.Find a word to describe the person who tagged you
nice

18.If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
the part which gets tensed before exams.

19.What’s the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
shocking thing heard :that the most bhola bhala paraku mumma's boy kinda guy of my class has proposed a dumb idiot who' also 6 years elder to him & already has 3 bfs ( at a time) & all this because the guy is really desperate now !!!!! & nothing because of the 4 letter L word !!
the shocking thing i have seen is : my star world has disappeared only to be replaced by some moronic CTVN akd (yuck) , where all day long male astrologers in salwar kameez & female "jyotishaas" in kurta pyajamas sit & talk shit (booo hoo hooo )

20.Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?
I'd love to have both money & love .But taking a pick is really hard for me ( i wonder why :O most people wouldnt think twice before saying love ) but one things for sure , would never love someone for his money ,.

lastly this tag goes specially to vanilla sky & tyro . anybody else who wishes to take up this tag can do so too.

2008-08-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

A cad is actually short for cadbury - the chocolate & is often used for referring a guy who looks delicious ( hehe ) , cute & everything nice .
I know most of my friends must be thinking like " ye to gayiii" . & I also know of many who think of this cad as 'a gay icon' but , main kya karuu ( am smiling now hhehe) , banda inna sona ho to kya karuu . alas! the guys in an engg. college are not even half as good (looking)& all they do is crib about the fact that engg. college ki girls "maal" nahi hoti . Whatever , this guy brings back the old world classiness & chauvinism in his looks . And for once the chemistry between this real life couple doesnt look forced . NO this is not a review of Bachna Ae Haseeno , its just a girly post :) . After all even I have the right to do things completly girly once in a while .

But then again, thinking of the girls in the movie - here's a real mean view of what happened to them . I know each time ranbir k. ( raj) broke their heart , really hated raj & all that . But in one way , these girls were too ready to fall in love , to give up almost everything for the guy they thought loved them .& that's why they deserved this heart break , you should'nt ever lose yourself to make some one else happy . people around you will be happy , only if they feel that you too , are happy.

ps -- 1. am changing my blog song to "ahista " , it's something very apt for first love.
2. A said " girls should be proud if someone flirts with them , as in lintelligent , attractive girls get flirted with etc etc . " to this I said " but if some guy flirts , does he think if the girl is intelligent or does he think of how beautiful she is ( & dekhoo ki kitni dumb hai ) & uspe chance kaise maroo etc etc . "

Of Winners & Losers

2008-08-13T00:44:00.000-07:00

Depressed , dejected , sad, good for nothing;
big mouth, nautanki,negative,foul faced;
wretched,heart withered,hopeless,hated;
disparity-defined,awful,awe-less,less than average ;
nothing special,recluse,thinks too much,cant emote;
tensed,mad,too sentimental,too rude;
frustrated,tired,culture-less,bored-down&bogged out;
attention craving,lost out on everything;
not the person I used to be.

This is what I had exactly been feeling like till a few moments back . I wanna get my lost confidence back , the will to get everything .That's when realised , that confidence is something which must come from deep within us . We may search for it in what others say , but won't get it there.
There's a fire burning in all of us but sometimes it may get doused . am searching for the matchstick :) .
Took out my class 12 maths book , did lil bit of integration all over again :) . haha I think I should do a lil bit of it everyday , just to be in the right spirits.
When Mr. Bhindra wins a gold medal for your country , you ought to feel happy for your country & too some extent patriotic too. but you know what ? the guy has actually also won many more awards -like the Khel Ratna awards . Did he feel dejected when his name was'nt announced in all the dailies, then? maybe he was , socha hoga akhir itna karne ke baad bhi no money , honey ? & as maybe Mtv -ticker said correctly --" Abhinav Bhindra won the olymics gold , but even then Rohit Sharma will earn more money " Is'nt it silly of us to suddenly talk of national pride whereas even two days back all were mulling that why did the Blue Indian Team fail in Sri Lanka?

" The clouds give all their golden dust to the last rays of sun but they welcome the moon with a fleeting smile" -- R. Tagore

All of us love winners , but how many of us are winners???

This post might seem to be completely threadless , but its not , all that this gal wants to put forward is that just 'coz someone thinks that you are a loser , it aint so .
Meanwhile , instead of feeling patriotic am feeling sad , coz my favourite puchkawallah is dead now. "How stupid" did you say?? well, am not really a great fan of puchka & am also quite aware of the *ahem* diseases it could cause , but this guy used to make it like really khatta & with all things nice & was neatness personified . So I guess i"ll miss him & his puchkas .
& as for confidence , atleast I dont have any previous *high* standards to look upto . :)

p.s puchkas are like the patented kolkata roadside snack

1973

2008-07-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

" I would call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out 'til the morning lig ht
And we sang, "Here we go again"And though time goes by
I will always be, In a club with youIn 1973
Singing "Here we go again"

Thats how this song of James Blunt goes by & it makes me smile .I had actually hated that " you are beutifaaaaaaaal" song , but this one sings of an era where the guy still calls up 'Simona' even when he's really old.

& no I'm not going mushy or expecting the same , i just tend to like this song :)

Then again, saw a movie "THE HOLIDAY " day before yesterday .
this is what a really old guy in the movie said

" In a movie there's always a leading lady
&there's a best friend , but for some reason ,
you are behaving like the best friend of your life "

For the time being , I cant really find words more truer than these. Its nice to be good to others , but there's a leading lady in all of us , is'nt there ? all we have to do is let her take hold :)

2008-07-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

* why is it that time spent with friends flies faster than usual?? *

* killed a cockroach today . poured the water from the pan in which had boiled an egg on the creature *

* what say about Bachna ae haseeno? confession -- i like ranbir k. in this movie ( this after blatantly lying to many (sorry)) . He does look like a cad .I mean Deepika & Ranbir do seem to be made for each other , but lets see what happens nxt with these serial partner changers :) .

BACK WITH A BANG !

2008-07-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all , have literally been down in the dumps for the last few days , but as they say ''lekin raat ke hi baad to savera hota hai " I'm back & could'nt be feeling better about it . Instead of boring you further with the 'whats & why's ' let me get straight to the topic .
Have realised that however much one puts up with this big bad world & shows that "Ha ! I care two hoots about what you say or F*** off or get a LIFE , dude" , there is a teeny-weeny portion of our heart which feels a lil bad when someone says a awful things about us . & there I was thinking what the hell was I being so morose about ? then realised it was a ' who' the hell was I morose for ?? People , this post is dedicated to those jerks , who have no other work than giving me advice ( ahem) about how I should live my life or rather these are the kinds jinke cheek par mera abhi man kar raha hai ekkkk faaaaaaaattttak lagaoo . :D did you say " the jab we met ' principle , as in where geet anshuman ko bhar bhar ke galiyan deti hai . I actually believe thats good for your health.

Ha ,so a zoooorrrrrrr ka punch to the following **^%%@ ( think of the person you hate the most)
:----
wierdo no 1 ---> those boorish people who pretend to be judges of one or the other reality show . there are many of the same kind roaming in our society , & some of them may be even living in our nieghbourhoods,homes etc. these are those losers who pass comments like " My god how did you lose / gain so much weight " & this will be from som1 who's pakka anoerexic or a blue whale ! . " or " hainnn I thought you were a gooooodd kid , how did you get only 8.37 '" i feel like telling " abbe kabhi integration ka nam bhi suna hai??"

jerk no. 2 ---> the likes of rakhi sawant , & most of the splitsvilla girls ( esp. bosky & bianca ) --- ya everyone realises the their utmost urgency to talk but cant these glorified maid servants atleast talk within normal human decibel range instead of SHOUTING almost anything and everything.
ps - isnt Vishal like sooooo cute ( never thought i'd use that word :p ) hai na???whos Vishal did u ask ?? tune in to Mtv sat 7pm

gadha no. 3 --- now when i see them all i feel like saying is " maar maar ke aisa haal banaoongi & sharm nahi aatii?? " girls also do it all the time but I get more pissed off when a guy does it .
these gadhas try to use quick one liners on you thinking that you'll be swooning over them & what do they do all this for " eh heeh hey darling will u sit in front of me in the next class test or baby could you lend me those notes " YUCK , cant they just straightaway ask for it & plz dont even get me started about the cheap 'quick' flirts . I dont how many of such people can i take on !!!

madam idiot ---> she tells me to wear a salwar kameez citing it as a formal wear IN COLLEGE !! all the time !! will some one please tell her kind about things like backless 8 stringy salwaar kamezzes?? & its not like i wear tank tops & prance around . seriously ! this is also the kind which believes any one & everyone must get married by 24 :o
air ,air i need oxygen . before any of you jump down my throat , let me also clarify that i dont have any problem with people wearing it , i myself had it as school dress , but its just a matter of choice .

hahaha,am really enjoying this now

duffer no 4-- you guys must have experienced this that the so called 'comitted' couples get possesive about their other half as soon as a singleton arrives , throwing various warning glances at you all of which say " mera saiiyaan sirf mera hi hai ' ohhh god , & then these duffers start linking you up with anybody you speak to & mind you that is supposed to be a ploy of theirs :p , somebody please give them some sense of security as ashirwaad !!!!!

and of course last but not the least
loser no 5 ---> what can i say about these losers yaaaar , inke khilaf kuch bolo to gussa ho jate hai . Yup , they have never taken a sane bit of advice once in their entire life because , yaaa how do they put it " I'm the best , why should I see beyond myself " meaning " I have an ego the size of a T-Rex " !!!! They think that they have every right to demean everyone else , but if you dare say anything against him / her basssssss you'r dead man !!

aaahhhhh !!! am already feeling so light :D this venting out session was good . I mean I've finally got it out of my system , negativity zindabad !!! actually i just wanted to give all of the above 1 tight slap & was rearing to go . Immaturish , did you say ? to mat bol na yaar , gussa sab ko hi aata hai :)

ps - friends who know me personally -- plz i want to say this in a way as less rudely as possible , but plz dont question me whether whatever I post was / is true or not , coz it is , remember the title , ? :) confirm kyu karna ? :)

2008-07-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Have I become snobbish of late , or rather out of touch with reality? I feel as if have created a world of high ideals which even i cant satisy all the time . no smoking , drinking or pyar mohaabat , & I think only I'm well off without these. .No bitching ( well , sometimes), no emotions, no laughing at 'sex'y jokes -How nicely has this art been perfected by me or maybe not coz I'm not like that in college - have I started caring whether people take me seriously or whether they percieve me as 'cool' or then again is it all an attempt to be someone who's out of league & 'different'?But I dont fake emotions , then what is it?
/*A friend once said " I know you think of me as a wierdo or rather a person who's just too common , but I'm the one whos normal"*/
And , now again I think , am i boring you all with my jibberish again , have'nt I bored you enough with my over enthusiasm?
Just some thoughts , these were , wish someone would say " wats this " & slap me now to wake me up from whatever crazy thoughts have been thinking .