Cold Feet

Recently I had been very sick.
So sick that I could not move out of my bed.
So sick that even though I was dying of thirst I could not bring myself to get some water.
That's when I took pity on myself and called my mother.
She literally flew down to my place , cared for me and took me home.


This from a woman whom I had assumed long time back would not take a leave for a mere sickness. I guess actions speak louder than words.


What has just struck me is there might come a day when she or my father wont be there to take care of me. And I would be at a complete loss . I would probably lay dying of thirst.

The thought scared me .
I had always thought that I would be brave when it came to loosing some near one.
But in my selfishness I am not brave.

I am crying now thinking that how alone and bereft I would be left one day.
How much I would miss them , the feeling of not having to worry about yourself would be completely lost.

 I was lying down and yet it felt as if my feet would not feel anything for a long time now, they had turned quite cold.

That Dance - A Christmas Wish

One of my childhood fantasies has always been being asked out to dance.

Boring relatives , lively music , Hollywood proms, vacuous feelings,imagination all made me think that how nice it would be, if after all the eating &talking when I would be left to my own means , someone would just ask me to dance .

We would do something silly and probably laugh a lot , but yet the dance would be a dance.
Some means of incorporating spirit in an otherwise boring night.

 Reality is a tough place for romantics and like every cute imagination, this never came true.

So there I was last Saturday , in a party again, asked by my parents to join them, getting bored as usual and reminiscing about how wishful my thinking was .

The music was good ,there was a dance floor with people shaking a leg or two .

In the melange of so many people teeming with Christmas revelry, there was a boy looking at the dance floor with a faraway glance .
I smiled at him , thinking  that here is a kid who's probably having the same dreams as I used to some years back.

The only thing amiss was that he had crutches.

We both wanted the same thing at the same age , but his was probably a hundred times more than mine,

He sat down on a chair , still looking at the dancing crowd.
I followed his gaze into the crowd, and when I looked back , he was going away, into the crowd.

I hope that someday, he won't have to do with just looking at the crowd.