Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Completly I post

I would completely and truly agree with you if you don't wanna read this post after the boredom you've had to tolerate in the last one. My apologies. I don't do very well by pretending to be a "writer" ( hello! aren't they those funny people who keep on writing how loser like life is or how the world is a sucky place to live in and neither am I one of the few good ones who really write what one likes to read) alas!

So here I am confessing about something that I know people who don't know me wouldn't care about :)

Trust issues - Belief issues. I was never the kind who went on liking people just the way they were. I felt very less, cared even less. I remember someone once say "Oh Yes she's always very careful of her image" THAT was really long time ago, and back then that comment had made me proud.

It seems that I'd been building on that image for many many years. I didn't take people seriously, rather never paid heed to others, it was always whether I was doing the right thing , the 'correct' thing or not. And in that confusion I often overlooked what people around me were doing. Enjoying life!

People move on with time, I used to move on with friends, it's like each friend would come with an expiry date and then I'd move on irrespective if I'd 'moved' away from them or not.

I wanted to be smart, confident but most importantly perfect. This is what happens when we don't stop to notice others how imperfect and scared and normal everyone else is.. And when you don't notice others you don't know.. that a lil bit of 'normalcy' is normal enough.

Perfection doesn't exist. The most bitter way to learn about it is to lock yourself up in a house only with books. Its then that one realises how lonely one is and in spite of the fact that one lives in a colony with a 100 kids, most of whom don't recognize her.

Things became much easier when I realised what I'd been doing wrong. Off late I've also understood how important it is to do what one really likes and not being trampled by so-called notions of self-righteousness. They kind of occupy too much of memory space.

And ever since I let go, I have met the most wonderful people, they might be anybody.. the maid with two kids who makes your coffee just the way you like it, that friend you have who's herself going through a breakup but would cheer up in a mo' , that friend who pushes you to get out and get going or simple them friends who like you just the way you are :)

Btw I've been in total admiration of my brother, the only guy in this world to have the patience to teach me football, basketball and load of sports knowing very well that his didi would never probably even attempt them, its through him that I've learnt that all love needn't be superficial, that its OK if his gf sends him a "khana kha liya" sms ( totally not due to the fact that she sent gajar ka halwa for me) and that somebody can hate maths and still teach me "looping". hehe!

The simplest and jadu ka nuskha wala cheez is I don't need to change or hide any of what I already am. There is absolutely no need for any superficial image or a glass house around me because jo achhe hote hai sooner or later unke saath acha hi hota hai.

If there's one mantra that I've seriously learnt it is to start believing - in yourself coz then you wont be worried about what others think about you and start thinking that these people you like, that they and the happy times you've spent with them will be with you forever...


Akansha Agrawal said...

Oye! Looks like we share the bucket list of confessions as well... :P Peter and Abhinav still call me the Diplomatic Lady... hmphf! [-(

Yeah, learning to let go is important I suppose, esp in your own case... Our parents seem to put too much of emphasis on morals and 'rights' and 'wrongs' and we kids tend to adopt them with equal stress, literally! And to again believe that selflessness could exist... probably takes another 20 yrs! ;)

Koi na... let's live life now, nahi?

A Benevolent Sultan for Life said...


Mads said...

I loved Akansha's comment and more importantly your post was just what i was gonna write on my blog and what I was feeling right now (damn you, i dont have a topic to write on now =P)

hehehe :D
live life bindas :D
loved ur post again :) and btw..i guessed all of that abt u :)

vanilla sky said...

wah wah, so many thoughts , put nicely :)
If I had started, would have got lost midway

btw, iread nuskha as nakusha :x

Resurgence said...

Now this one is interesting gal... Philosophical and yet very real... I think almost all of us go through a phase like this... I in the middle of my engineering days... I would not say that I'm over with my ideas of 'self righteousness' but the fact is that I have started to enjoy what I like to do... further I have got many people/ friends around me who have always made me realize that despite of my many shortcomings, I am still special to them... this has made me reciprocate the same feeling... Good post... It was nice to find that many people go through this kind of stuffs... and haan kudos to your brother... :)

I.B. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Acula said...

OH.MY.GOD. :-O :-O You were right. You ARE thinking exactly what I am. I don't know you but I want to hug you. I haven't read the complete thing yet. But I HAD to say this now.

Matangi Mawley said...

thoughts so well worded!

Dr. Acula said...

Girl you do have a way with words!!! Loved it!! :) Blogsville surprises me at times!! How can there be people SO like me when I always thought I was the only one!! Good luck to you and to me!! :) I think I need to write another post now. On very similar lines and I'll mention your post there too! :) Cheers. XD

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

Yes i used to be the diplomatic person once too,and theres nothing wrong in being one.
In my case parents never put any kind of right-wrong pressure on me
(iske pehle one post was abt them)
I felt maybe since they never put any pressure on me i should be righteous to show that their love wasn't misplaced. :)

yeah lets live life bigtime!:D

:) :) :D

Oh! Tu jo bhi likhti hai achha hi hota hai :) good guess work then :P :D

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

@Vanilla sky
chi! bad influence!!!

dost na hote to kya hota :) yes some friends make losers like me feel like something. hehhe yes my brother coolest :D


:) thanku

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

@Dr. Acula
I really liked your blog :D
btw u had to remove your earlier comment eh? ;)
thanks yaa :) yes all the very best to both of us (its now only that we'v let go )

Dr. Acula said...

Thanks :D
Hehe..yeah, well. I don't like to use my name on blogger. ;-)

Nidz said...

its like u found urself today :)the real u .
Dont be scared to be U.
dont even think what ppl wil think n react.. its u n ppl shud take u hw u r

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

@Doc Ac
blog rollin ya :)


:) yes!!

Dr. Acula said...

blog rolled you too. :) Love your blog Amrita. :D

Dr. Acula said...

I just noticed ur name in the URL. And you know mine too..we'll use it in our secret :P