Sunday, January 20, 2013

The First Time - A Way Out

I feel it is that time of my life again, where I just feel like becoming Anne Frank . Not in the way where she became an almost martyr but when she went underground.
I don't want people to look at me, to hear me , to know me, I wanna be unknown , unknown so much that while I hibernate, everything changes around me , the sadness goes away, the pain goes away.
That way  I don't have to deal with all of it.

Sometimes I really wonder why is it that I am the one who has to try the hardest, why is it that I am the one facing all the obstacles. I also know, that that's not true that if concentrate more of my energies on the negativity , more of it will be attracted to me.

But what to do , the more I think of it the sadder I grow, and how not to think of it .. I really don't have a way. Maybe that's because at one point of time I had concentrated all of my energy into one small thing. which at that point of time had seemed like the biggest thing, the kind of thing for which I would've given anything.

And from then on wards I have been running away from similar experiences. How I wish my thoughts, my soul had remained untarnished, if I had been fearless , then I know I would've done better.

How to make every time your first time :) Isn't that the question we all ask ...

Because the first time itself was so beautiful, it seemed like everything is purple , lavender becomes the flower of the season, the heart feels so mild and untouched , there's not a single scar on it , the brain is unburdened, do you remember that one such time where all the sadness in the world did not matter one bit, and that my friend is the answer to all that heaviness... that first time.. :)


Gomzi said...

oh mother to explain?

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

It means that whenever you are feeling down in the dumps the best way out is to feel like it didn't happen.

burningphoenix said...

ignoring something doesnt make it go away....