How to get a guy in 15 days ...and then if you have some spare time to lose him. Before reading this the reader must completly believe that this post is made on the superficial observances made by the blogger ( who currently maintains a S.A.D status)
DAY 1. SMILE AND SMILE AND SMILE . But never look at the ONE ,always look at your friend . And as an ending to the prolonged SMILE ,GIGGLE , you may take tuitions from * The Aishwarya Institute of How to smile and show off your expensive dentures *
DAY 2. Be sure that one of his friend has your number , and to make sure that HE has it , by saying it loud in front of someone ( yes the simple process of missed call does not exist)
DAY 3. Clothes ---- nothing flashy . a simple salwaar kameez (a white one will just be fine :P ). Indian guys= indian clothes , open hair (remember to take comb for bushier hair) , long earrings, lip gloss (the invisible types ) ,kohl /kaajal (a must) . ( God save you if you are a chashmish , no entry for my behenas )
DAY 4. After years and years of observation I truly know why girls go all " shooo cuuuuuuteee ,, oh maaa, baaabbyyyy" when they see a retarted piece of teddy bear / real infant. Elementry Watson, they don't give a shit about babies and stuff, they are actually mollycodlling the ONE in question ( &also maintaing the garb of secrecy)
DAY 5. Display of intellectuallism should be limited to *good handwriting* .
DAY6. Give him those lost lamb looks , like *what I would do without you*
DAY 7. If HE is still not thinking about you , then this will. Choose the most ugliest / nonsensical/ poor fella you know . And when the poor demented soul approaches , move one step closer to the ONE and tattataaaaaaaaa say " I don't feel safe when he's there yaar " ( yes all of them have a fantasy ofplaying "knight in shining armour " . Never mind the demented guy, he's going to make millions in the future and marry someone like marlyn monroe.
DAY 8 . Do the hair thing . C'mon gals , I shouldn't be explaining this to you!!!!
DAY 9. now you need a confidante . plan / spread a rumour about going to the nearest hangout after work /college/watever . The confidante will limit the spread of the rumour only to the ONE. & hence you"ll be alooooneeeeee.
Day 10. The guy still doesnt like you ??? God must be blind /gay/ has a g.f/ is seriously not interested / is the demented guy.
SINCE I DON'T KNOW OF ANY OTHER WAYS , YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND LOSE THE MORON IN THE NEXT 5 DAYS
DAY11 Behave normally ( dont laugh like the idiot you've been for the last 10 days ) DAY12 wear jeans . tees , in short watever you want to. DAY13 Top your studies , (most guys think thats arrogancy ) DAY14 talk to all and sundry . DAY15 .Make him your friend ( and i mean a friend. not like bollywood movies where they go on mouthing inane dialogues like " dosti me no sorry no thankyou " to kya main kisi anjaan se sorry bolun???? )
believe that you are the best ,'coz in case some of you thought that may be the first 10 days would help . well they don't . no one and especially you don't deserve the fake you. keep on playing that taa- taaa-ta-taa taaa ( bachna aee haseenoooo .. ) in your head . :) Yeah Yeah I know , I know I"ll get brickbats , eggs , Harman B. thrown at zis post. "hey gal , all guys are not that dumb" , " but i really like teddy bears ...." etc etc.
I KNOW , so lay off and enjoy :) watever that you're doing , no one's judging you . ( well except maybe the 10000's you already know :P )
And now for the dedications :-
> Saheli aka Vanilla sky for the title.
> also inspired from Abhishek Khanna's post about *How to talk to girls in a wedding *
> All the guy roadies from Roadies 6.0 . especially for that inhuman task last week . Serioulsy what the hell has happened to that show?? That task was crass and cheap in every virtue , If raghu is so gung ho about woman's rights what about some for men eh??
> to keshi . I think I wanted to write like her ( but somewhat failed , after all we are individuals eh ? :))
> This post is with complete respect to those who questioned and wondered "how I managed to Use 1000 people without ever breaking their hearts" .
i hate typecasting people and putting them into groups . humans use humans , its in our genes , for small or big needs , people do flash smiles . But breaking a heart needs something more than that . you need to have someone's heart for that. And this post is intended to all those who tend to give it away -- be the better judge :)
> I Know I'm going from bad to worse in my posts . Don't take the first 10 days seriously :) . truly dedicated to sarcasm.