Dedications

To,

Saheli Random Ramblings !, Tyro Scratch Pad, Madhuri Mads Mad Mess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
Akansha Tadka!!!!!!!!!!! It sizzles!!!!!!!!!!

- It was great meeting you all , Saheli I knew from before, and the others from this world of blogs.
I like reading you as much as I like talking to you. This is not a goodbye, just an overwhelmed appreciation of things that happened, I call you my friends. :)



To,

The Furobiker, Cherrie's Blogs, James, Resurgence,Sree, Matangi Mawley, , BLOG VIBES, Frustration is just the beginning of medicine , JoieDeVivre, Raphael,
Viva forever...

I've been reading your blogs since the last 3 years. Back then most of us were newbies and the growth in all of you has been great, a mix of intelligence , sarcasm, sense and love is what make up your blogs (I'm no judge, just voicing what I feel) , you are the ones who can really pen your thoughts, the ones who write more than blog and I hope to find you the same when I come back.

-Nautanki ladki


To,

Andy,Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?,Dr. Acula, i me & "not so much of" myself ... ™, My Own Little World- Dhanya, TheDevilInDisguise.

I wish I'd blogrolled you earlier :)

-keep writing
:D :D :D




- Why all this show sha you ask? I'm not quitting :) just maybe taking a break, shayad 1 week shayad 1 month, but like Karan Arjun I will come back. I just felt like dedicating something to all of you , thoda aj feeling zyda aa raha hai :) anyway, happy rehna, keep blogging and more importantly enjoy life as much as you can ...

- c ya

Things

woke up this morning to find that I was missing something.....
turned out to be the things which I"ll leave behind... well, almost.









Song Dedication : Damn Cold Night(I'm with You) - Avril Lavigne

Leave Out The Rest

Stole a Tag, felt very much like doing it ,especially since it seems that everyone's given up on tags :)



Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!


I'm also putting up a list of RK smileys(here & there) :D



1.IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?

"Vaise Pyaar Ke Naam Pe To Yaaro Sab Huaa Hai Ab Ye Pyaar Bhi Ho Jaaye Bas Itni Duaa Hai"

:P :P if only 'this' meant love..

RK in love : RK-love


2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

"Mil gaye jo chora chori, Hui masti thodi thodi Bas pyaar ka naam na lena ,I hate luv stories"

this is good ;)

RK|:-Ifeelgood--)




3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

To The Moon and Back-Savage Garden
"now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come And she'll say to him She's sayin I would fly to the moon and back if you be... If you be my baby"





4.HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Tujhe Bhula Diya

"Dol pal tujh se juda thha,Aise phir rasta muda thha, Tujh se main khone laga,Juda jaise hone laga....... Mujh se kuch mera
"
sad RK : RK-(



5.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Fireflies

"I'd like to make myself believe That planet Earth turns slowly..."

Firefly RK : RK-ƸӜƷ



6.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Nain Parindey

"Nain parindey baadal baadal Khwaabon ke sitaare chun lenge , Hoo nain parindey chaand chura kar Palkon se apni dhak lenge"

RK in goggles: B-RK





7.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

hahahhhaha !!!!!! weird !!

"One fine day You're gonna want me for your girl"




8.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

:D :D By the Way - Aisha

"Tumse kehdenge hum saari baatein Kaise hain apne din kaisi raatein heeyy… Koi na koi hulchul rehti hai dil mein Harpal… log hai kehte paaal… humko oohhoo"



9.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

"Mann Lafanga bada, apne mann ki kare"



10.WHAT IS 2+2?

Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto .

RK sexy : RK-@-.-@




11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
aaila!!

River flows in you- Yurima



12.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Oh I wish !
" tum jo aye zindagi me baat ban gayi "



13.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Naturally-Selena Gomez

dancing RK : \RK/



14.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Mar jawaan
hainnn??




15.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Down - Jay Sean
"So baby don't worry, you are my only, You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down, You"ll be my only, no need to worry"
RK <3



16.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift

:O maybe because I"ll be leaving .....
Mom & Dad <3


17.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

:D :D :D
She Wolf - Shakira



18.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

'Tera hone laga hoon'

:| bhagwan ko pyari hone lagi hoon.

RK sexily dead : RK-deadintowel



19.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

"Pyar Impossible" *evil grin*

RK evil : RK|3:-)



20.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Skater Boi- Avril Lavigne

"He was a boy, she was a girl Can I make it anymore obvious? "



21.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Hey Soul Sister - Train



22.WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Leave Out The Rest - Linkin Park



Rk saying tata: RK-flying|:-*

The Sound Of Morning

I woke up at 5 am today, it reminded me of the time when I was an early riser.Lately, sleeping schedules and of course net addiction has resulted in getting up late. Now, I don't have any problem against those who sleep till 11 am, why my brother never wakes up before 11 during holidays.

I've never been much of a morning jogger or stuff, I just love meandering around, listening to things, watch the dawn break out.. simple things. It was raining when I woke up, something about rains in the morning is so indescribably soothing especially the rustling of the leaves. Yes even though some people find it eerie it is one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. Even if it isnt raining, and the trees rustle.. wow I feel like Heidi.

Heidi was one of the first books I'd read along with Little Women, I loved both, but Heidi remains close to heart. At that time we used to live in a cozy small town in Assam, surrounded by huge trees and even now the sound of trees remind me of my quaint life back there.

My granny had an eccentric neighbour with 12 cats, every morning right on time she would switch on her Radio, turn it up to full volume, so that every one could hear it. The first strains of music from All India Radio is another favorite morning sound. There's something so un-music like about it that it seems melodious.

Then ofcourse there's the thing which makes no sound, but creeps in stealthily. Have you seen how the sky is just before the Sun is about to rise, a bit purplish , a bit mauevish and the horizon looks beautiful. The dawn breaks and all the other sounds come alive the chattering of birds, the tring tring of the doodhwala, the newspaper walah throwing the paper and of course the smell of tea... :)

I realised what a contrary experience is waking up at 9, all you get to hear is the maid shouting at you asking for some vim bar or washing powder, then you have to right away make breakfast or something.. leaving no time to enjoy the morning. I used to like waking up early & I think I"ll go back to my old habit ... also addiction to net isn't a very good thing, but alas! I don't really have much to do nowadays. dekhte hai kya hota hai .. :) till then cheerios.. :)

P.S: here's a site you can go through in case you feel some need for hope

http://www.givesmehope.com/

Insomniac

Since I'm feeling utterly fresh and un-sleepy now , talk about holidays! I was going through my old scraps. and the way we'v now shifted to facebook, made me realise how more open and sweet we were on orkut. back then we didn't know what we should post and what we shouldn't, and talked as we wanted to. It was like we were really expressing ourselves without knowing that anyone else would *like* it. Not that I mind being liked. Found meself laughing at some scraps and smiling at the innocence of others.I present here some of them which made me laugh and wonder where most of them are now.. why after the first few months of orkut we didn't keep in touch as zealously as we had started off. Anyway, enough of procrastinations,
The following are some of the first scraps from my scrapbook :-

1. I(think I) had asked this guy how many girls were there in his class ...

Guy: ur other question regarding gals will b answered if u ve a luk at this site

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/IIT


2. My first fest :)

Girl: So r u goin to atttend the fest on all 3 days?? 18/03/2007


3. aaah those awf-some graphic days

Girl: tui naki sakal 7 tay ghum theke utheii graphics korte boshe gachis!! grtt!

translation: heard you woke up at 7 and pounced on your graphic sheets? gr8!!


4. hahahha!! you know her

Girl:What is a Kiss..? In view of:..

GEOMETRY-Kiss is the shortest distance between 2 lips.
ECONOMICS-Kiss is that thing 4 which DEMAND is higher then SUPPLY!
PHYSICS-Kiss is the process of CHARGING a human body..
COMPUTER-Kiss is like a LAN, in which 2 bodies are connected without DATA CABLE...!


5. Girl: she has written committed but not he .......


6.an unknown Girl: neway howz is Bala doin? is bar kya uska attendance 30% se jyada hai ?


7. Would you imagine apologising to someone for not being online ? well, that was some guzra hua zamana

Guy:yup.....sry for tht...actually sem got over in april n ve been on a vacation since then...so come online very infrequently....neways wats up wid u...


8. The people whom u never remembered were even there in your class, and hence asked for a clarification. I'm serious, even now I don't remember this fella or laughing at his handwriting :|

Guy: ok this may may make me remember me a though it is a negative point

i had the worst handwriting in our class
u had even laughed at seeing my project in manika's hand
because it was prepared very badly
i had noticed that u had laughed at my project since i had an eye on every student in the class
we were in 9c at that time
u may not remember me by my name but u will surely remember this
do you?


9.Exchanging songs :))

Girl: this isMahiya
Somewhere Out There, I Know There Is Someone
Who Is Waiting Just For Me Maahiya
He Is Gonaa Set Me Free Maahiya
Jiski Aankhon Mein Meri Hi Nami Ho
Koyi Toh Hai Woh Yaar Maahiya .........

..... these lyrics are too much abt captivity.......the girl is captured.......


10. Guy : u hav to register in dat website...they'll give u an url......u send it to ur frndz......
if u copy my url....all ur frndz crushes will be sent to me!!

When I re-read it, I thought all my friends' crushes will become his!!


11. Last but not the least, this ones from the usual unwanted unknown somebody who not only adds u, but by god atleast purane zamane me they used to give it a good try, ajkal to those unknown types just 'add' you, no hi & no cheesy message either.

cheesy scrap No. 1 :If i say hi.......u may say whoz this.... if i ask for chat....u may say why??.... if i ask u for a coffee.....u may say wt rubbish.... if i say i liked ur profile......u may say m flattering u..... if i ask for frnship.......u may say m flirting...... so can u plz suggest me hw to start wid a new relation.........???? till u reply i am trying wid a request.........".....m here looking for friends i like u, ur name is tellin me that ur some1 who can b my frnd.....……

hey m addin u up....hope u dont have ne problem.......
gave a good day....bye>.
b in touch......tata

ps : and thats how the cookie crumbles. My sense of humour gets jaded as dawn draws nearer, but if you've stuck till the very end, I'd like to hear about some of your first scraps too ;)

- c ya

My green chaddar

This post is not inspired from Ruskin Bond's The Blue Umbrella. I couldn't find another word for chaddar, you will understand as you read on.

The hero of this post is my green chaddar. It came to my life some 7 years back, and its not any normal chaddar i.e bedsheet/bedcover nor is it some blanket, it is actually two cotton saris stitched together, these saris belonged to my grandfathers' sister and she did the work. Its a plain good old green, but i dont reckon theres any cloth softer than it. I have slept with it since the day I got it, through summers , winters ,rainfalls. Its a bit tattered now, but I love it nonetheless.

It provides the perfect warmth and even in summers feels nice. I think the softness comes from being used by a woman who is as soft as a feather, a drop of vaseline cream, a mound of softy.She's no more but her touch remains. It feels nice.

Earlier I used to sneak it in my suitcase, when we'd go on a trip. Well the first time around my dad said 'The hotel staff will throw it away with the morning rubbish'. I was adamant. It goes where I go. Resort ho ya hotel, I've taken it with me, coz when I have it, sleep comes easily.

You might think why this silly post about attachment to a non-living thing.

I"ll be leaving home in about a month, and will of course smuggle it with me, and it will remind me of all the times I've slept in peace, in worries, in half awakened sleep.... in my home.



BTW time for a Mom Dialogue:

Mom: oh I will miss you too much
me: ma you are doing as if I'm getting married!
Mom: That would've been better *sob*
me: WHAT!!
Mom: at least there are no fixed no. of holidays in a marriage .


Slowly the realization is dawning that I may after all miss home. home cheez hi aisi hai :)However , my green chaddar will remain with me , as a lil reminder, of things that made up 'home' & I really hope that we stay together ,always.

barish

tanhai ki jaise kuch barish hui
tanha tab bhi the kuch
ab bhi hai
par tab khalti na thi

life moved on, took me with it
leaving astray my moments
Oh how I wish they were still strewn
so that I could go back and collect them all

mann maan gaya, main maan gayi
ziddi hai kuch tanhai
apna bana liya isne
ke ab isi me bas gaye hum

Bliss remembers sadness
thinks if that was real
The irony is that bliss rues,
it rues the loss of sadness.....





my attempt at poignant poetry :)
inspired by : """''Kaali kaali khaali raaton se
Hone lagi hai dosti
khoya khoya in raahon mein
Ab mera kuch bhi nahi''

I like Esha's dadi, New light shines on OM aunty, Saheli is flying

Esha's dadi scolds people a lot,
She doesn't spare aunty,Esha or Esha's guy friends
coz' ajkal ke bachhe are always on phone or online,
E's dadi thinks these are a waste of time.
Esha's dadi loves wearing white and never lets anyone pick her plate
I'm sure she's a brilliant cook coz now she tells the maids what to do
She sits and manages the household
and always says "Bari pouche phone kore diyo' (give a call when u get back home)
She's funny and quirky and has a crooked smile,
Her eyes glitter nevertheless,
and she's got more life than many 20 ki kudiyan.
I hope I get to see her many more times,
sitting on that sofa and smiling her crooked smile.:)





OM Aunty, well that's not her real name
She's my mom's school friend
I've always found her a bit funny
She left her job in an MNC 5 years back (I thought that was duh!)
She's unmarried 'coz her father didn't like any of the prospects(I thought is that possible in this century)
She's asked us to do 'namaste' rather than shaking hands for the fear of germ transmission,
She tells us to do OM chants early in the morning
She asks a lot of questions (I thought 'oh why the needling!!')
But now I know
She takes care of her old parents
She's still holding their hands, but this time they need her support
She turned a veg thinking of not hurting any kind of life and hence the fear of germ transmission
OM Aunty is funny in her ways-- she compared SRK- Devdas to some office guy,
She'll probably keep suggesting solutions till u choose one out of exasperation
But it's all selfless.
She's probably always been like that, it's just that we dont like people bothering too much upon us lest it feels like an intrusion.
And intruders aren't welcome but Om aunty advises, only hoping, that something good will come out of it. :)






Let me write this before she says 'SHUT UP'
Its just like a serial
where two good friends have to part ways after college
and invariably after 10 years fall in love with the same guy
One of the girl goes a lil mad and uses her friend and seduces the guy
However, the ending is always happy as the hero ka newly-single dost is always there for the mental girl.
Now I don't know if the above serial prediction will come true or not, but the first line is already coming true.
Oh yes I will come to her wedding and the blah but that is door ki baat (I think)
She's a little sad going to the land of coconut oil,
But we know she"ll be a babe there,
coz she's just bought a lot of clothes for there and has a * I will kick* attitude that none can match.
We know she"ll do well , and probably improve her new-found culinary skills.
I just hope she doesn't find another one like me
And even if she does
' For You Saheli, a thousand kicks over' :)







Abstract are the people & none of the paras rhyme.
People don't rhyme, they're just parts of a jigsaw puzzle called life.

I don't hate love stories

I hate pretensions.

I do not understand why a *g.f* has to wipe icecream off her guy's pants. I do not understand why love means being mushy, eating chocolates and icecreams, loving pink and red and going berserk over gifts ( the more expensive the better).

I do not understand why love has got nothing to do with being a hero, being a heroine, with understanding the person and yet loving them so that everything seems lovely without making an effort, with finally knowing.

People think these are the signs of falling in love :-

1. One asks Questions like " ye pyar kyu hota hai" , "kash kahin koi mere liye bhi bana ho", "someone to understand me*sigh*" ( boss apne aap ko pehchan lo mahan baat ho jayegi!).

2. The girl starts liking teddies, bunnies and all sorts of dead stuffed animals made a million times "cuter" than their live prototypes. And guys probably start using more aftershave ( I have no idea what guys do , actually)

3. DEMAND: pout,deodrant,big eyes,suddenly a guy jisne apni maa ko kabhi kitchen me help nahi kiya hoga starts showing *chivalry* by demanding that the girl wears a certain type of clothing. haha!

4. Some people start with the possesion of atleast two mobiles one cdma and one normal , with multiple SIMs, all supposedly for the *reduced* cost of talking.


Like a wise man once said " Love happens, but attraction is misleading"

But what about?

1. Red rings under one's eyes ( Girls don't squeal at the thought of eddy cullen!!)
2. Being sure.
3. Not wanting anyone else and if the said person isnt there then making do with imagination.
4.Becoming tongue tied and acting in an absolutely opposite way (OK! now I sound like some guidance counselor)
5. That squeamish feeling

The problem is the above stated symtoms are "all in the head" and cant really be seen.

So do I hate Love (not luv) stories? Not going by my track record, I don't think I understand the victorian, elizabethan zamane wala love stories where guys called gals "maa'm" and invariably a "rescue session" would follow, where people would fall in love chutki bajate hi, coz they knew in 1 second that this fella is mah soulmate. I mean how do u do it. isse achha to apne hindi films hai, atleast in kuch kuch... it took them 8 years to know, even in Lamhe love takes its own sweet time.

Love is like a wine, it takes the experiences of people from all over time, inculcates them and finds its true flavor.

Oh btw this post is effect of watching two horrendous in a day. One as everyone must have guessed is "IHLS" and the other a regional commercial one which translated in English would be
"Ye lover you are mine". hehe isme a girl ( of 15 years ) falls for a scooter mechanic, and then they run away from home, pretty much do everything, and towards the end heroine ka pitaji beats the guy up. headache stuff!! and is still giving me the creeps.

Only in one point do I agree with IK, that sometimes when filmy things happen, you might think that " oooh this is just like that movie I saw and pyar aise hi hota hai" It's sad but even I don't know what to do and like some kid once said "jab tere liye koi red hearts banayega na tab pata chalega".

I don't know what it will be like if such a time ever comes, but loving love stories has never meant loving silliness, loving silly things and a primary criterion seems to be " showing off" and doing all the 'coochie coo' one can , not in a 'I'm-blissfully-aware-of-the-world-around-me' (that is kinda a sweet) , but in a ' Oh do look at me coz' I have one eye on the world even when I'm with him/her'. My friend says when in love IQ diminishes a lot, well I say maybe we should think of rising upto it rather than *falling* in it. ( I know all this sounds like some high handed rubbish, but its just that I see too many people who discard the use of common sense in the *hope* of finding love and also because (someone might kill me for this) but some girls have this idea that guys like dumber girls, the rest are my friends who like pink and the blah just because they like them )

Oh and My brother and his gf ( and a group of friends) were sitting in the same hall when we were watching ihls. khekhekhe!!
Seeing them sometimes I also feel that some people find it so easy to tell it to the one who truly matters while some others just can't tell and prefer to lounge. But like I say, it's not always the words which matter ( and sometimes they do matter a lot) . You see I'm as confused, with only a few notions but I ain't asking around for any explanations, rather others think I'm some hard hearted juvenile.

I love the in-love couples btw, the kinds where they don't need to show and they just know it.
But alas! sad are our circumstances and rare are people who have the real thing.

For a mo' there also forgot that I hate offering explanations and should've kept mum about the whole mis-judgement thing, but whatever, all I wanna say is


Why be so aware,
Why be so willing ,
Why let your heart break
Why adhere to norms
Why think of customs
Why bind yourself
Why even think of the future
Why not wait
Wait and watch if your heart can be whole
Why not carry that glow in your heart
The glow which lights it up like a fire
&then you"ll know baby, what love is.

A Letter

To Amrita of 2009,

I know that you've been worrying. you feel sad when you shouldn't, you've been acting in a completely opposite way to what you've been feeling. The bad thing is that you've been acting quite great and no one seems to notice anything amiss. But don't be sad, coz' life will turn out to be quite different than what you think. Fortunes will turn, friends will be found and woes will be got rid of.

I know that you are fed up with all the thinking and all the planning and all the doing and all the dreaming about how things will end. How the sun will truly shine when you get yourself back.

I know that you feel bad that things turned in a way different from what you thought, that sometimes you feel that theres a hole in your heart.

But I also know that even in all that murkiness, you are trying hard. Trying hard not to be superficial, to be tactful and careful about what you say and what you do. Trying very hard to keep up the mask that is not you.

But also remember that one fine day it"ll be gone, that day you will find your strength without the need of hiding the person you are. It is difficult but believe me, that day will come. When you will feel good, when you will know what you are. Just remember you dont need anyone else. When you know who you are for your self worth, everything else fades back into oblivion.

Those who make you feel bad by pointing at your weaknesses are nothing but scum and scum dont have happy endings.

Albeit it might take a lot of time to get what you want, but when you do and heart of heart even now you know that one day everything will be just the way you've wanted to, that day you"ll realise that winning a small race is nothing compared to being the winner in the end.

However, do not ever let the search of being a better human being be diminshed. Things change, people change, circumstances change, just rememeber that sometimes its very important to spell out what you dont like. Every turn in life will present something new, just try not to be too surprised by them. Acceptance is the key to peace.

And honey,keep it up and if there's a load, just lift it up and throw it out ;)


-Amrita 2010

Batch 2006-2010

I'm leaving , I really am and its unavoidable, not that I ever wanted to avoid it.

I've been walking down the same lane for the last four years, knowing always that this day would come.I haven't been sentimental at all, except the day before my last exam, didn't study, kept remembering everything and everyone. How we'd all met, congregated together, all with specific goals for the future. Things, goals, people have changed in these four years, the change was subtle yet now one can see them clearly.


Few people know this, but when I was taking a year break after my boards, I had enrolled in a day college (just like that, to have something to show for the year lag) I went there for exactly one class and hated it. I knew that place wasn't me, I cried when I got home and resolved never to go back there. That was the best decision.

I guess I'm not really feeling a sense of loss, because I know what's mine will always be there for me. It was one of those places where there was a strong sense of belonging, it kinda adapted itself to me like I was always meant to be there, like I knew that good things were bound to happen here and that nothing else would feel the same way.

.Life is bitter sweet you know, and most people leave a fleeting impression on us , however there are some who bring out the best in us by letting us be what exactly we are. We face life in the best way possible, and it might boomerang, nevertheless your strength lies in thinking that some fine day it would all measure up.

Have been thinking of a hundred ways of writing this post , and with three drafts ready, still can't decide which one sums it up. 'Coz nothing could sum up everything. It"ll pitiable if I even attempted to add it up. So lets just live the moment and look forward to whatever comes along.


We"ll be stepping into a new kinda world ( to state the obvious) but wherever y'all go , what we had was good and it"ll remain that way. Let's just have cool lives.


And now for some fun to end this post. Following is an excerpt from something a silly girl wrote four years back..

9/12/06

"........... right now my life is pretty smooth with studies going good( touche wood). You know I just love going to college and I mean anyone would after an isolation period so long. And since I'm writing after such a long time lets start by giving an intro of my classmates :-

S :- She's become a relatively good friend over a short span of time, especially since I'm so not into fast friends. She seems a lil shy but otherwise is pretty nice and really helpful!!.

........... I think A is a little mad as in he is not as mature as a regular 19 year old should be but that's likable and its always cute to watch a " A and R " fight......... "


I could only smile when I read it. :)

-cya

Food For Thought

What do you like? When you get up in the morning? Something to go with your tea? or coffee? or the plain good old beverage.
Cream biscuits or the butter filled ones never really made my day good, always preferred the Krack-'n'-Jack variety and with coffee would be best.Maybe a Plain cake with no other variants like fruit or nuts would be nice too.

Breakfast when I'm alone consists of two dark toasts with honey (never preferred butter but make do with it when necessary) a nice lil sandwich made with my special family filling - just jab at a boiled egg, some tomato sauce, cheese, and more sauce and its done. Tastes delicious!

How do people eat butter? like literally eating it without putting it on/in something. Its like it sticks to your throat.
waise upma tastes yummy with it in it and so does soup.

At midday again, when there's that familiar feeling of not wanting to drone on and yet have something to nibble at they say you should have some fruits. I hate fruits btw, most of the time, with a very few exceptions. Its summer time and I haven't yet come across a single mango I like. woe begone! Way back when we were in Assam, there used to be a litchi tree in our garden, a big one, I remember climbing it, putting up a cane jhula on it and then having a massive fall, but the thing one rememebers the most are the litchies, loads and loads of them. I think I've had strawberries only once at a friend's house. There's this scene in Pretty Woman about how strawberries bring out the taste in champagne. yet to try both :)

I make do with some kind of shake ( My mom gives me the eye if I have more than 1 spoon of coffee a day so no cold coffee every day)

Lunch is usually home made stuff, dal with ghee and achar,rice,fish curry (detest fish but eat it nevertheless) or chicken or my rajma (which is seldom cooked coz' I'm its only fan) or paneer (which is awefully cooked by maid dearest). Mom cookes only on holidays making them more delicious and my appetite more eager for each of her biryani/echor/posto/malai chingri/ilish/keema yum yum !

I guess what I'm trying to say is that food connects. Its not only the aroma or the flavor that you remember its something of a memory too. Like whenever we order a Sizzler, the story of how when I was lil girl of only five had polished off a full sizzler leaving my parents astounded coz' before that, my appetite was unheard off. There are these little things which connect us with people, some food my evoke good memories and some bad ( Like Chandler Bing's memory of Thanksgiving. heh!)

There was someone who once asked me why I didnt shift to hostel( my home was about an hour and half from my college then) , and I seriously couldn't find a better reason than 'good ol' home food'.

I remember my brother most when it comes to sandwiches. He makes even the simplest ones taste and look so good. He and his gf have this rule of not buying gifts for each other. So on her birthday he baked a cake for her, and for us too :) Young love !

Once my dad tried to cook some dinner, well he tried making some kinda roast with red wine which was to put it in kind words : Puke worthy. He has since then, been restricted to breakfasts only. Mum though, specialises in everything and scolds me if I sing when helping her, she says hey it requires as much concentration as your padhai.

That leaves me, the one who spills more pours less, burns more cooks less, eats more asks less, and if left to her own means would truly sincerely doggedly try to pursue what they've accomplished.However, After much trying & failing would take out a pack of cheeselings and munch on them.

And therefore I usually eat anything eatable. No complaints , no demands :)


P.S: Reading about food makes me hungry as well.

If these were only thoughts
I wouldn't have written them.


If there was desideratum
I would have made it.

If there were memories
I would have known them.

If there was sadness
I would have felt it.

And If there was love
I would have known it.

H-O-T

Do you feel a certain restlessness ? maybe breathlessness coupled with butterflies in your stomach,which ultimately makes you see small small stars and countless planets in front of your eyes?
Don't worry it isn't that usual confluence of emotions called LOVE , you're just getting a heat stroke.

If you never knew the meaning of feeling HOT, well now you know it.

My feet and hands have been charcolized and I don't even live in the sati yug.... wondering if that would make me candidate enough to be a penguin in my next reincarnation. Sigh! If only I could flap my wings, slide and do a *wheeeeee* with joy on the crescent of Antartic I'd be happy feet forever.

You know the heat has got to you when you cant think about anything other than it.
your thoughts go like : "Oh No! Its so shine-ly sunny outside" or" Man! Can't bear to step outside for the life changing viva I have to give" or "Where's my chata , where's my chata"

Even people like me who always believed that SUN is really a very good source of Vitamin D have been taken down.I dont know if SPF's even work, but I sure need a LCD screen.

And then amidst all this hotness I've stil gone out with friends, forgetting for one moment about the omnipresent yellow-ness, in search of a Havana, a Coca Gabbana and find a cafe which suits our budget. Siting with friends having an inane conversation , my mind slept off to the time when I used to long to be a part of a group of friends chatting away and for that fleeting moment the heat became bearable.... :)


However , bubbles burst too soon and cafes are sadists. We were served mud-paste in the name of cold coffee which left a yucky feeling all over for the rest of the day . That brings us to the end of this post but not before saying " I'm on a mission to save the world... from bad cold coffee..

Enthused by reactions of friends and family here is my perfect recipe for cold coffee:-

For 2 glasses :-

Pour in a Mixer/ Shaker

7-8 cubes of ice
4 teaspoons of coffee
4 teaspoons of sugar
1/2 glass of cold water
lil less than 1 full glass of milk

Mix/shake as long as u don't hear the ice getting crushed. and Viola! Its ready :)"

tip 1: to save your mixie from damage, you can crush the ice before putting it in.
tip 2: never ever and swear to god use those ghastly instant cold coffee pouches!!

-see ya

My Dad has asked me to never write this to a real guy

Info: We had our Tech Fest - DAKSHH 2010 which had a competition called Tech@Heart, and my entry came second ;) ( I won a Dell T-shirt! :P) We had to pen a *love-letter* in techie lingo.
I dedicate this post to my last Tech fest here. The letter given below is followed by an index of tech terms (aapki help ke liye) ;)

and without much ado here it is :

THE LETTER

To The Scanner Of My Heart,

From the moment(as defined by The Platinum Iridium cylinder in Paris) my irises saw you, my cardiac valves did more back flips than a sawtooth waveform, only this time it was generated by the CRO inside me. The vectors of two points on a Gaussian field belong together and you belong with me. I stored your image in my cache memory for ever.

I still remember the first time that we met, you were near the Klystron Amplifier and I was besides the Lathe Machine. Just like these devices are so different, like a cation attracts an anion, our pheromones attracted each other. Your eyes found me like TCP found IP. When you came within a proximal distance of 0.25m within me, I could feel electrons flowing through my viens with a speed of 10power30 GHz.

But then I lost you. I searched endlessly for you on the Internet, The Ethernet, The Telnet and what not. But alas! Without you I was morose like a Matlab program gone so wrong that it doesn't even know the difference between a root() command and sinc function.


It was on the eve of pi day when I saw you again. Even in that melange of a million people you spotted me. My adrenaline was pumping @ 2.5 times higher than usual. I immediately sent you my ARP request packet to which you replied coz' I knew that your heart was unicast towards me.
Like a Wien Bridge connected to itself, like integration and diffrentiation , where one is nothing without the other. You know? When Information from your oral mouth reaches my olfactory lobes,it's bliss, akin to ISO completing OSI.

My lacrimal glands moisten up as I write these last lines.

An ATMEG32 can never run without AVR, and neither can my respiratory system without you.
So WHAT ARE YOU waiting for? Get on your higehest mileage giving,lowest fuel guzzling and eco-logical automobille and come to me. 'Coz here I am, all lonely , twirling 1K, 2K and 10 K ohm resistances, waiting , only for you....

Yours Truly

Black Isotropic Woman
*****************


P.S: When I had written it, I hadnt really thought of putting it down on some rough paper, had directly written on the paper provided. Now my memory isnt some cache that I"ll remember everything. However whatever I've written is 99% same to same :)

P.P.S: We also bagged the third prize in the MAD-AD contest (impromptu advertisement), We as in Saheli, Abhay and Me. But that story is for some other time and best told by anyone but me!

P.P.P.S: As for my DAD, he promptly slept off after a very enthusiastic recitation by moi. DAD: "ye kabhi kisi real bande ko mat likhna, bhag jayega" :D :D : D


Non-Info: "Tech List" ( For engineers and non-engineers alike )

1. Tech: yantra
2.Scanner: That thing in malls which makes a *peek* sound , jisse saman measure hota hai.
3.Platinum-Iridium Cylinder: It's a 1kg cylinder used as a standard for wt.

4.Irises: aapki aankho ke andar ka black black.
5.Cardiac Valves: Dil ke compartments
6.Sawtooth Waveform:--->

7.CRO: Cathode Ray Oscillator: used to *see* waves.
8.Vector: Anyth with magnitude and direction, jaise chalta hua train.
9.Gaussian Field: yaar Maths me ek football field jaisa concept hai.


10.Cache: Computer ka ek superfast and easy to access memory
11.Electrons: Negative charge wale small small things.
12.Klystron Amplifier: Used to increase the speed of electrons.


13.Lathe Machine: Carpentry machine which I hated!!
14.Cation and Anion: positive and negative charges.
15.Pheromones: Sex attractants present in everyone (khekhekhe! )


16.TCP/IP: Computer connections me ek type ka protocol ( matlab in rules ke hisab se hota hai connection)
17.Ghz: Unit Of frequency
18.Internet: YEH NAHI PATA KYA??? Ethernet, Telnet : ek zamane ke type of internet ( sort of)


19.MATLAB : Jaise compu ppl ke liye C/C++, waise Electronics logon ke liye MATLAB.
20.Sinc func and root () : *phew*
21.Circuit: Munnabhai ka dost


22.Power Supply:Jisse circuit chale
23.Pi day : 14th March. pi= 3.142
24.Adrenaline: jiske wajah se RK ko dekh ke sth sth happens, and for others it gives you butterflies before exams.

25.ARP: Automatic Request Protocol
26.Unicast: *ek duje ke liye*
27.Wein Bridge:--->











28.Integration and differentiation : *hayyyyy*
29.ISO-OSI: Another protocol
30.Lacrimal Glands: Tear glands

31.ATMEG32: It's a Microcontroller chip ( Now don't ask WHAT's THAT?), it's a chota but mahan chip.
chip: doesnt have to do anything with an uncle! its a big thing in a chota package like Sachin Tendulkar.

32.Resistance: wahi jo ladkiyan apne bf ke samne *resistance* wala bhaav khaate hai (usually)
33.Ohm: Unit of resistance.
34.AVR: A microcontroller software.
35. Isotrope: two elements with the same atomic no. (Go Figure!)

The Completly I post

I would completely and truly agree with you if you don't wanna read this post after the boredom you've had to tolerate in the last one. My apologies. I don't do very well by pretending to be a "writer" ( hello! aren't they those funny people who keep on writing how loser like life is or how the world is a sucky place to live in and neither am I one of the few good ones who really write what one likes to read) alas!


So here I am confessing about something that I know people who don't know me wouldn't care about :)

Trust issues - Belief issues. I was never the kind who went on liking people just the way they were. I felt very less, cared even less. I remember someone once say "Oh Yes she's always very careful of her image" THAT was really long time ago, and back then that comment had made me proud.

It seems that I'd been building on that image for many many years. I didn't take people seriously, rather never paid heed to others, it was always whether I was doing the right thing , the 'correct' thing or not. And in that confusion I often overlooked what people around me were doing. Enjoying life!

People move on with time, I used to move on with friends, it's like each friend would come with an expiry date and then I'd move on irrespective if I'd 'moved' away from them or not.

I wanted to be smart, confident but most importantly perfect. This is what happens when we don't stop to notice others how imperfect and scared and normal everyone else is.. And when you don't notice others you don't know.. that a lil bit of 'normalcy' is normal enough.

Perfection doesn't exist. The most bitter way to learn about it is to lock yourself up in a house only with books. Its then that one realises how lonely one is and in spite of the fact that one lives in a colony with a 100 kids, most of whom don't recognize her.

Things became much easier when I realised what I'd been doing wrong. Off late I've also understood how important it is to do what one really likes and not being trampled by so-called notions of self-righteousness. They kind of occupy too much of memory space.

And ever since I let go, I have met the most wonderful people, they might be anybody.. the maid with two kids who makes your coffee just the way you like it, that friend you have who's herself going through a breakup but would cheer up in a mo' , that friend who pushes you to get out and get going or simple them friends who like you just the way you are :)

Btw I've been in total admiration of my brother, the only guy in this world to have the patience to teach me football, basketball and load of sports knowing very well that his didi would never probably even attempt them, its through him that I've learnt that all love needn't be superficial, that its OK if his gf sends him a "khana kha liya" sms ( totally not due to the fact that she sent gajar ka halwa for me) and that somebody can hate maths and still teach me "looping". hehe!



The simplest and jadu ka nuskha wala cheez is I don't need to change or hide any of what I already am. There is absolutely no need for any superficial image or a glass house around me because jo achhe hote hai sooner or later unke saath acha hi hota hai.


If there's one mantra that I've seriously learnt it is to start believing - in yourself coz then you wont be worried about what others think about you and start thinking that these people you like, that they and the happy times you've spent with them will be with you forever...

UPDATES

When we talk about updates, it usually signifies how far we've come along since the last time we were here. Neither have I won the Nobel, nor have I completed a project and nor can I sum it up.
If only, summing things up could be that easy.

It's the same morning everyday and yet woken up from a slumber
I smile at the happy thoughts I know that I can
I can keep it in, keep up the smile, wake up from a slumber

Failures don't bug me
But stumbling has always been an option
It's like returning to what you thought once could be true

It's easy to let go even while you can hold on to all of it
Just stop thinking, feel the breeze
Let go while you can

Find a friend
But Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
It was like a barter
lose one find many

All this seems a bit dramatic
Writing like this
expressing through *poems*
Take a Bow Amrita
life ain't the great a ravine you thought it was
More like a waterfall
Swoosh and it has displaced you
A rush and you feel elated
But most of the times it's like a sanctuary
peaceful and going on

Things wont affect if you don't let them if you know what to do
To Know is a different game
coz you know but you don't feel
and in spite of not feeling right you can do whats right
Do what you want, feel what you like
Soak what you want


I wouldn't have read all this if it were by someone else
You still on?
intellectualism doesn't suit me
I prefer timetables


Those time tables we made of waking up early, hardly mattered, coz we did what we had to.
Now with time immeasurable there seems to be a need for a list not a bucket list but one to enlist.













Note to self: GET A LIFE ;) in the one i already have.
Note to readers: you Still On?? How could you go through all that? me at profoundness best :D
well maybe 2nd best.

As for updates:

1) 4th year project ki waat lagi hai

2) lost out on CAT.

3) Naukri here I come....

4) Have finally started sleeping 11 hours a day

5) SL yes, farmville: still don't get it

6) Purple doesn't always looks good esp. on KKR

7) like noor-e-khuda

8) I have finally understood the nuances of circuit shopping :D tip: take along hot girl to bargain

9)Still have a mental glitch problem when people less than 25 get married. Esp. when they were once your classmate, but as E! says "be happy for the one who's happy"

10)So not into IPL and not proud of it.

11) I miss the good ol' days of K serials where the women weren't really helpless!!

12) fir bhi main khush hu :)


*laugh a lot *

Travails of being unwillingly spoilt (child)

PROLOGUE: I love my parents, no I really do and after I'm done with this post you"ll probably want them more than that DVD/Farmville you are thinking about right now.
Yes, both my folks are quite adorable *yawwwnn* , take good care of themselves *hooaayaawn* and me. They probably couldn't get any better zzzzz.......
Alas! the twain was not set to match.Sometimes I wonder if I should've been born in some other century and galti se koi mismatch ho gaya. And you must be thinking "look at the spoilt stinky brat". But ye hai mere parents ki kahani (starring your very own)
So here's how it goes:

SCENE I:
Two children are quietly, diligently studying in their room.Isn't this like every pitaji ka bachpan ka dream?
Father is seen pacing outside the room waiting for the 'dua or dawa' scene. He frantically looks inside the study-room.

Daughter (me) :(strictness personified) Dad WHAT ARE YOU DOING????
Dad : hheheeh, oh you poor kids,studying for so long. rest a little.
Daughter:It's only been 5 hours, what do you want????
Dad: errr.. I was wondering if I could play a little...
Daughter: We have our XYZ tests and you want to play your songs now???won't do certainly won't do. Go Dad watch TV.

Meanwhile Son has finished another chapter,daughter goes back to studying albeit feeling a lil guilty.

Daughter: OK OK Dad, you can play now!!! *rolls eyes* (under breath) papa bhi naa!


SCENE II : Its a Mall *yay :D* You see a mom-daughter duo having a fight.

Mom: Shut Up! Just Shut Up Don't talk like a boka(budhu)
Daughter: arree maa, that shop is giving 20%discount. isn't that kifayti???
Mom: I hate it how when you use such foul language in front of us!
Daughter: What foul language haiinn? kifayti and tikauu ar bad words now?
Mom: Yes why are you worrying about money when we are there??
Daughter: (to herself) *coz its mine too*: Oh MOM, I'm talking about fayda only naa
Mom: There she goes again with that trashy bhasha. chi!
Daughter: Don't be such a Mamta B. now.
Mom: I'd rather the one with the K . Just Buy the jeans and do the calculations later.


SCENE III: Its the much abhorred boyfriend-discussion day.

Me: Moooom!!! Don't be senti about it now.
Mom: Shut Up.Did I even ASK? why give clarifications
Me: oh,err.. okk well you know normal parents are a lil concerned about these mamlas
Mom: *raising her eyebrow* SO?
Me: heheh that means you have no problem?
Mom: about what? NO.
Me: hehhee ok then :D :D
Mom: And girly?
Me: *waiting in anticipation* yes?
Mom: You're losing touch :P :D make it better next time. itne easily mujhe gussa nahi ayega :D *hahhahahhah*
Me: awwww MOOOMMMMM, suspense me meri death hi ho gayi thi. kyaaa yaaar!!! tennu kuch farak hi nahi painda :(
Mom: Naaahh i was just wondering which crazy guy would love you hhahaa
Me: awww mooomm self confidence ki band baja ditta!!!!!!!

*scene ends with both rolling with laughter*


SCENE IV: NEW YEAR'S PARTY
Parents: Yayyyy chalo chalo dress up lets go the partyyyyy
Daughter: Ooofff not again :( :(
Parents: arre chalo chalo masti hogaaa
Daughter: But I don't know anyone :(
Dad: Always remember there's something out there.

AT THE PARTY
Me : wooooohooooo wow this is fun, hey you all I didn't you were in town :D :D

Parents (looking on) : See once she comes she enjoys :)
Mom: Yeah shell se nikalna hi only problem hai.
Dad:Yeah, she's having fun hey :)
Mom: Now that the children are busy, you think we can...?
Dad: hop on the spaceship and lets go tooooo MARS :D


*CREDITS SONG*

.....I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be...
If you'll be my baby
I've got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?......







ps : I had thought of making this post really sarcastic and witty but alas its turned into some bheegi hui matchis jaisa post :(. And maybe the last bit should've been edited!

Untitled – Why should all poems be titled?? This poem does not conform to usual standards…!!

Time stops as I stand still,
The world moves around, untouched unharmed.
As If it were always meant to be that way
Things fall into pattern
Everything becomes same
Only, I'm too unobservant.

Lost in thoughts, in dreams
My eyes glaze over
Not taking anything in yet I know there's something there

I mix gold with red to see the effect
It's like painting the sun, only its a reflection in the sea.
I paint the ripples too
My words sound all wrong
They are correct but not right

I twitch a little, nothing changes
Not much unless you count the small moments
which pass by, unless you count the raindrops
ever so effervescent, not much unless you count that fellow blinking away

That feeling takes over, The one where you can see everything clearly
You know that now its so near
So near your reach. it's just beyond that corner
Yet something stops you
What is it? After all this time , it's right there
Reach out, reach out,reach out

It fades away
Blinded by the light, you search for it
It's gone but you don't want to let it go
I don't like this light, its taking the darkness
My darkness away from me.

I want it back
But the light refuses like some insolent child
I wanna slap it hard
but instead it wakes me up

From a slumber
Was there something just there?
The sun shines through,
This time its in the sky
What was that then?
Its still beyond reach

It will come back
Of that I'm sure
Enveloped in darkness it repeats itself.





/*Tagged by Sree*/